Don't leave me
by Armin Son of Durin
Summary: Pairing: Ereri/Riren, Modern AU: When Eren Jaeger enters his second year at college, his life turns upside down when he finds out who his mysterious room-mate is... When he slowly discovers his room-mate's shocking secrets, will his life ever be the same? WARNINGS!: Self harm, addictions & strong language (more will be added) - Read at your own risk if these are triggers.
1. Chapter 1: Room-mates

**(A/N:) WARNING! This fic contains sexual references, self harm, suicide, addiction, drinking and strong language. If any of these things are a trigger, I advise that you do NOT read this fic as a large portion of it is depressing. Otherwise, enjoy my fic and thanks for reading!**

Eren tried to peer subtly at the black haired male sitting alone on the other side of the library, a couple of tables away, working on some coursework. He glanced over the boring book of plant anatomy that he'd pulled off the shelf and was holding upside down, watching him. The name of the male he was watching was Levi and he was 3 years above Eren in college, but that didn't stop the brunette's huge crush on him. He'd been watching him for the past 6 months and hadn't ever had the confidence to go and speak with him. He'd watched him before the summer break for months on end, even if it was a bit creepy... Eren was 16 and Levi was 19. It was the start of a new year and room-mates were being assigned later. Thomas had been Eren's room-mate the previous year and he was nevous as to who he'd get this year. Hopefully it was his best friend Armin... The reason Levi had work to do even though it was the start of the year was because he was a hard worker, which Eren found attractive. Eren watched him with his chin in his hand, sighing. Everything about Levi was attractive to him, the fact he always seemed moody and how hot he thought he was. Levi only really wore dark clothes, today he was wearing a black hoodie and tight black jeans. His hair was styled in an ebony undercut that Eren thought he wouldn't find attractive, but found it exceptionally hot. Levi was surprising short, but very strong. He had cold grey-blue eyes and pale skin, Eren just couldn't get enough of him. He had 3 piercings in his left ear (his left, Eren's right), two in his lobe and one in his auricle. He had only spoken to him once or twice when they went to the same meeting but that was work talk, not proper talk... besides, Levi had barely said a word. Eren had soon found out that this was his typical manner. He also noticed that the ravenette loved everything to be immaculately clean. All of a sudden, Levi looked up and caught Eren staring at him. He shot him a glare and Eren hurriedly looked behind Levi, pretending to read the titles of books on the shelves before remembering he was holding a book. Hastily, he looked back down and flushed when he noticed that the words were upside down. He cleared his throat and righted the book. Levi scoffed and shook his head, he was not stupid, he knew the messy teen had been looking at him and he was doing a pretty damn bad job at covering it up. He went back to his work and Eren's eyes once again crept onto the male. Levi could feel his eyes on him and huffed, getting to his feet. He gathered his papers and put them back in his folder before slinging his bag over his back and leaving the library. Eren's green eyes followed him as he left and he sighed, resting his chin on the table. He was head over heels for him and he barely knew him, Levi probably hated him for all he knew.

Later on in the day, Eren received the key to his allocated room. Number 27. Lectures and classes had finished and it was time to meet his room-mate He pocketed his jangling keys, he was still nervous about who his room-mate would be, he had hoped it would be Armin but Armin had already got his key and he was with Connie – so now he was even MORE nervous. It had better not be that horse-faced arsehole Jean... There were a large number of students in their year so many people were apparently going to have to mix with other years. As Eren made his way up a set of stairs to get to his new room, his mind wandered to who it might be. He waited anxiously outside for a minute, staring blankly at the door. If his room-mate was in there already, it would be unlocked. Eren hesitantly reached out and slowly opened to door a crack, peeking round. His heart stopped and his breathing faltered as he saw Levi sitting on the edge of an already tidy bed on the left, a folder of work on his lap. Levi looked up as the door opened and Eren hurriedly slammed it and backed away. He was room sharing. With his crush.

 **(A/N:) Hey! Welcome to my Ereri fic ;) This fic will be updated pretty regularly as I have written 64 pages of it already and just need to edit it. Thanks for reading, look forward to seeing you in the next chapter! ;)**


	2. Chapter 2: First Impressions

This was both the most amazing thing that could have happened and the worst, most horrific possibility ever. The door opened and Levi glared out at him. "Ugh, not you..." Levi grumbled, before turning back around when he saw who his room-mate was and sat back on his bed. Eren's heart sank at Levi's reaction. So he DID hate him. Eren's chest ached as he stood outside, yep, this was definitely the worst, most horrific thing that could possibly ever happen.

"Well are you coming in or not?" Levi snapped, not looking up from his work. He looked at Eren standing awkwardly in his navy jeans and pale green t-shirt in the corridor. Eren swallowed and didn't move. "Well?" He looked up impatiently and Eren took in a shaking breath before taking a hesitant step towards the door. This was going to be horrible... He had the hugest crush on Levi, was now room-mates with him, and Levi apparently hated him. He just wanted the floor to swallow him up as he stepped inside the door and reluctantly shut it behind him. Levi didn't look up from his work and Eren chewed his lip, glancing at the other bed. There was a small desk in the room and a chest of drawers. Overall it was quite cramped but surprisingly clean, a lot cleaner than any other room he'd stayed in. Well, of course it would be, Levi was in here... He put his rucksack down onto the dark green covers. Everyone's suitcases had been brought up for them previously and Eren saw it under the bed. He perched tentatively on the edge of the mattress, his hands in his pockets. He watched Levi for a few moments before clearing his throat.

"Er, hi, I-I'm Eren." He said quietly.

"I know." Levi grumbled, not looking up. Eren shifted uncomfortably. "You look at me in the library everyday. It's annoying." Eren's cheeks filled with colour and he looked down at his tattered trainers, scuffing them on the carpet.

"S-sorry..." He whispered, his messy brown hair shielding his eyes as he hung his head. Levi's head snapped up when he heard Eren's shoes on the carpet and he kicked one of his feet.

"Don't do that, you'll ruin it!" He snapped, glaring at Eren. Eren looked at him in shock.

"S-Sorry Levi!" He stammered. Levi knew he would know his name, he would hardly not seeing as he watched him work practically every single day.  
"Hmph.." Levi grumbled and looked back down at his studies. They sat in awkward silence for a few minutes and Eren questioned life in his embarrassment, he just wanted to die right now because he was so terribly embarrassed. The only sound to be heard was the sound of Levi's pen on his paper and the occasionally turn of a page. "Are you not going to unpack you brat?" Eren was taken aback.

"Brat?"  
"Yes." Levi replied plainly.

"Why brat?" Eren asked quietly, earning only a glare from Levi. He got to his feet slowly after a few moments of painful silence and pulled his bag out from under his bed. Questioning Levi was obviously not a good thing to do. He peeked at Levi as he got back on with his work, maybe he wasn't as great as he had first thought. Sure he knew Levi was moody and kept himself to himself, but he had hoped when he first talked to him _properly_ they would have hit it off right away... Apparently not. Well, that was probably 6 months of staring gone to waste! He still couldn't help the butterflies that fluttered queasily in his stomach every time he looked at him though.

Eren unzipped his case as quietly as possible. Levi shuffled back on his bed, taking off his black trainers and tucking them neatly under the bed. He leant on the wall with his knees up, working on the law essay in his lap. He put black earphones in his ears and selected some music before realising Eren was watching him again. He glared over his knees at him and Eren hastily turned away. Eren looked at the clothes and belongings in his small, mostly empty case. He didn't have much but he didn't know where to put it, Levi was obviously a clean freak and wouldn't want mess. He pulled out his clothes. "Um Levi... Where do I put these?" He practically whispered and without looking up, Levi pointed at a chest of drawers.

"The three on the left are yours, the three on the right are mine." He mumbled. Eren silently went and opened the top drawer, slipping his few clothes inside. He closed it and put his toothbrush on the shared bedside table for now. The only other thing he had was a book he had brought from home and he put that on the night stand too.

"Is that it?" Levi's rich, deep voice piped up and Eren glanced at the older, dark haired male.

"Yes. Why...?"  
"Well it's not very much, is it?" Levi frowned, looking at the book and toothbrush. He had seen the little clothes he'd put away a moment ago too. "I'd expected you to bring more..."

"Well I don't have very much."  
"Hm..." Levi mumbled and turned back to his work. He didn't have much either but he had more than Eren. Eren sighed and went to the door.  
"I'm going to go see my friend." He waited for a reply but got none as he tapped his fingers on the door frame awkwardly. "Bye then..." He walked out and quietly shut the door behind him. Levi glanced up at the door when it shut and groaned quietly. This was going to be a long year...

 **(A/N:) Thanks for reading! Hope you like it so far... :)**


	3. Chapter 3: Caught Red Handed

Eren went to Armin and Connie's room for a few hours. They were in number 30 so only 3 doors down. He told them about Levi and what had happened when he got into the room.

"Oh is this THE Levi?" Armin piped up, sitting cross legged on his bed. "That guy that always wears black, the one you stare at in the library everyday?"

"I do not look at him everyday!"

"Yes you do." Connie added in and Armin nodded in agreement. Eren sighed and his cheeks flushed red.

"So... does he not like you at all then?" Armin asked quietly.  
"It doesn't seem like it, no... I think he positively hates me, he called me a brat..." Eren rested his chin in his hands sadly, gazing at the floor. Connie sniggered at that.

"There are far worse things he could have called you and you're complaining about _brat_." Connie smirked but Eren didn't look amused.

"What do you even see in him Eren?" Armin questioned, searching his best friend's bright green eyes.

"He's smart, he's mysterious, he's _hot..._ " Eren sighed, his cheeks flushing even more. Armin and Connie exchanged glances.

"Yep, you've got it bad Eren." Connie said with a nod of his head.

After a couple of hours, Eren returned to his room for the evening. Levi wasn't there so he guessed he'd gone to get food. He felt sick in he stomach and didn't feel like eating after all that had happened so Eren just flopped down on his bed and groaned. He lay there for at least 20 minutes, just staring at the ceiling. Eventually he sat up and peered around the room. Curiosity filled him and he glanced at the door. Levi wouldn't be back for a little while still, right? He could just take a quick look around, it would let him get to know Levi better. Eren quietly got up and went over to the drawers, opening Levi's top one. It was all neatly folded clothes, practically al black with a few grey one's. The second drawer had more clothes and some underwear in. Eren reached in and pulled out a pair of briefs, biting his lip. They were small around the waist as Levi was thin but the crotch area was fairly large... Just as Eren had thought. Eren stared at them for a minute before putting them back neatly. The more he finds out about Levi, the more he seems to like him. He put the briefs back as neatly as possible so that hopefully Levi wouldn't realise they had been touched. The brunette opened the second drawer and saw it was crammed with school folders and equipment. He cringed, exams must be really difficult... He closed the drawer and opened the last one. There were a couple of books, a knife, and a photo of a female with red-brown hair and a tall male with pale brown hair. Levi was being hugged by them and had the slightest smile on his face. Levi never smiled so Eren realised that he must have really loved these two people, whoever they are. He picked up the photo and looked closer at it.

"You look really cute when you smile..." He whispered to himself.

"Do I?" A voice growled from behind him and the photo was snatched from his hand. Eren spun round to see Levi glaring at him angrily. He shoved Eren out of the way and put the photo back in the drawer, slamming it. He glared at him hotly and Eren swallowed, taking a step back.

"I-I'm sorry Levi, I was just looking..."  
"Yeah well don't! I don't look through your stuff, so don't look through mine!"

"Sorry..." Eren whispered, hanging his head. "Who were they?"

"That's none of your business." Levi snapped and walked past Eren in a huff, going to his bed. He sat and put his back against the wall, looking angrily down at his phone, not wanting to talk to Eren. The brat infuriated him. Eren sighed and sat on his own bed.

"Levi, I really am sorry... I shouldn't have looked through your stuff... I just wanted to get to know you better." He said quietly, regret filling his voice. He wished he hadn't done that, now Levi hated him even more.

"Just shut up brat." Levi grumbled from his bed, not looking up from his phone. Eren bit his lip to stop himself from saying anything more. He had been stupid and he cursed himself inwardly for making such a mess on their first day. He had fucked up already and his crush hated him.

Levi sat on his phone for about an hour, it was 8pm and Eren had just sat, staring into space, feeling guilty. After a while, he glanced over at Levi. He wondered whether to ask when he was going to bed, but Eren didn't want to disturb him. He opened his mouth then shut it again. He didn't want to make Levi any MORE angry. Eren sighed and picked up his book. 2 more hours passed and Levi didn't look up. Eren read about a quarter of his long book and looked at the shiny alarm clock Levi had put on the middle of the night stand so they both could see it. It was 10pm and Eren was tired, he'd been up since 5am.

"Levi?"He asked quietly. There was no reply. "Levi..?" Silence. "Levi when ar-"  
"Brat, just be quiet!" Levi hissed in annoyance. For the first time, Eren glared at _him._

"Levi you can't just ignore me, we're room-mates now whether you like it or not."

"Well I don't like it." Levi didn't look up.

"Fine, whatever." Eren grumbled in annoyance. He felt angry at Levi but also hurt because he had thought so much of him. He pouted moodily and stared at the wall. He had really wanted to meet Levi properly, but this was not what he'd expected. Eren snapped his book shut and shoved it back on the table. He went to his drawers and retrieved his pyjamas. He glared at Levi the whole time and Levi looked up, glaring back. Eren went out and practically slammed the door behind him. Levi shook his head and huffed. On his way to go for a shower, Eren passed Armin in the corridor. He stormed past him and Armin frowned.  
"Eren? Eren what's wrong?"

"Levi. That's what's wrong." He snapped and disappeared round the corner. Armin sighed and glanced over at Eren and Levi's now slammed door. He frowned and then opened the door to his own. He was sure Eren would explain in the morning when he'd calmed down.

Eren returned to his bedroom wearing his navy, short sleeved night clothes and didn't look at Levi. He rubbed his dripping hair with a towel, leaving it damp and sticking up all over the place. He threw the towel down on the floor at the end of his bed and Levi glared at him.

"Eren, pick that up."

"No! Do it yourself! Actually don't, we're not allowed to look at each other's things, remember?" Eren pouted and climbed moodily into bed and faced the cream coloured wall.

"I fucking hate you Eren..." He grumbled, looking back down at his phone.

"I don't care, I hate you too." Eren snapped back but in truth he DID care. He cared a lot. He felt tears sting the back of his eyes but fought them back. He had thought Levi would be different to this. His chest ached and he hugged his pillow. He lay awake for quite a while before finally drifting off to sleep.

 **(A/N:) Well... They haven't got off to such a great start, have they? Thanks for reading! :)**


	4. Chapter 4: An Awkward Series of Events

**(A/N:) Just wanted to say that I made this college idea up completely so it isn't using any real system and has different facilities and rules to actual colleges so don't worry about the fact it's sort of like university, it's just made up for the sake of the story :) Anyway, carry on reading!**

In the morning, the alarm buzzed and Eren shifted in bed, groaning. He fumbled for the alarm, nearly knocking it down. He turned it off and put his arm over his eyes. Five minutes later the snooze went off and he rubbed his eyes, blinking sleep from his eyelids. He glanced over at Levi's bed through his half open eyes. Levi was in a different set of clothes to the previous night but showed no other signs of moving. Eren wondered if he'd just gone and got showered and not slept at all. "Levi?" He mumble drowsily. "Did you even sleep?"

"Why the hell do you care?" Levi turned and glared at him, looking away from what he was working on.

"I don't." Eren grumbled, turning around in annoyance. Was he always going to be like this? "I was just asking..."

"Well no, for your information. Does that matter? Has that changed your life Jaeger?" Levi said sarcastically Eren glared at the wall.

"I hate you..." He muttered under his breath but Levi heard.

"Well the feeling's mutual." Eren scoffed when Levi replied and pushed himself up in bed. He wanted to get away from Levi and he positively hated himself for thinking that Levi looked hot in a tight black t-shirt that showed his chest muscles and revealed his strong biceps and forearms, although he was wearing sweat bands on his wrists as he was obviously going to be going to the gym... Eren imagined how hot he must look there and cursed himself yet again, he wanted to hate Levi. Levi glared at him and then Eren turned to go to freshen up and get ready.

When Eren got back, Levi was still where he was. Eren wasn't so tired now and looked at his bed. Levi had made it for him and folded up the towel he had thrown on the floor last night, putting it on the end of his bed for him.

"What the hell is all this?"

"A bed Eren. Oh, and a towel." Levi mumbled as he carried on writing.

"Oh haha, you're funny." Eren grumbled and pulled his bag out from under his bed. "Why did you do this if you hate me?"

"Because this is my room too and I don't want to see your mess everywhere." Eren rolled his eyes. He should have guessed it wouldn't be to be nice to him or anything. "Well thanks..." He grumbled half-heartedly, slinging the bag strap over his back. Levi put his paper down and got off the bed, getting his own bag. He slipped his papers into it and shooed Eren out of the room with his hand. They went out and Levi locked it up. Without saying anything, Levi walked past Eren to go off somewhere. He didn't eat breakfast. Eren glared at his back as he walked off and went to knock on Armin's door.

He waited outside for a few moments after knocking before the blonde appeared, his back on his back. "Hey Eren!" Armin said and Connie followed him out, his hands in his pockets.

"Hey..."

"You ok?" Connie asked as he locked up.

"Yeah, just fine..." Eren grumbled, turning to go downstairs, expecting the two to follow him. Armin and Connie exchanged glances and Armin shrugged before they followed the moody brunette down the corridor. The three headed down the wooden stairs and out of the living quarters to the main part of the college. A few people were on their way to the canteen as well. They went to buy their food and sat down at a table. Eren hadn't wanted much, he's just bought a cup of coffee. He needed it.

"Eren, are you not going to eat anything?" A female voice behind him called around a mouthful of food and Eren turned around. His friend Sasha slipped into the seat next to him, stuffing her face with food. Armin wrinkled his nose at how she was cramming food into her mouth. Connie, Armin, Sasha and Eren had all been friends at their previous school and had come up to college together. They were in their second year there. Eren's sister Mikasa (well he was adopted by her parents) was joining the college late that year so she wasn't there yet.

"No, I'm not really in the mood..." Eren sighed and picked up his coffee in two hands, letting it warm him up. He blew it gently and took a small sip, taking in and savouring the rich smell that wafted off of it. God he needed a coffee...

Eren was unusually quiet all day and not even Armin knew how to cheer him up. He trailed behind the group with his head hung and messy brown hair in his face. They went to their lectures and classes as normal but Eren didn't participate, he simply kept his head down and gazed moodily at his lap. Armin watched him with a frown throughout the day, this whole Levi situation was obviously affecting him badly. He wondered if he should request a room change for Eren so that someone else could be with him, although he couldn't help but be afraid of Levi, he was so sinister and stoic, he didn't understand Eren's crush on him at all... Sure, he could see that Levi was good looking but Armin was straight so didn't understand Eren's physical attraction either. It was Levi's personality that bothered him, sure he didn't _know_ the guy, but from what he saw his personality was pretty consistent with everyone. Cold and moody.

Eren and his friends had no lectures in the afternoon and they all wanted to go out to town, except for Eren. He had decided (rather moodily) to stay behind by grumbling an excuse and walking off with his head hung and his hands in his comfortably oversized red hoodie pockets. He let out a deep sigh and flopped onto a bench outside of the gym and sighed, resting his chin in his hands and his elbows on his knees. He dropped his bag beside him on the floor. His brown hair ruffled about in the wind and blew into his emerald eyes as he gazed at the large shining glass windows, not really looking through them. No one else was around, he was in a small courtyard area with stone pavement surrounding an area of grass with a large willow tree in the centre, it's drooping branches tickling the grass and creating soft brushing sounds in the gentle, cool breeze. After a while of just sitting, thinking and listening to the wind in the leaves, Eren shifted his position slightly and properly looked through the glass of the gym. He froze. He could see Levi leaning on a wall on the other side of the small gym and he could clearly see the man. He was wearing a grey vest top, revealing his strong biceps and arms. So he was right, the black sweat bands round his wrists were for the gym. He should have thought of that and realised that he shouldn't have come out here knowing that Levi would be there too! There was sweat on the front of Levi's shirt, making it cling to his chest muscles. Eren took in a sharp breath as he stared at him. His sweaty black hair was slicked away from his face and beads of sweat glistened on his forehead, his cheeks slightly flushed from effort. He was leaning with his arms folded on the wall, obviously taking a break. All of a sudden, Levi turned and caught Eren's green eyes staring at him with his own sharp grey-blue ones. Eren gasped and clumsily snatched his bag up, a couple of books falling as he jumped to his feet. He hurriedly ran a few steps before skidding and turning to grab the fallen books. He thwacked his knee on the side of the bench as he bent down to get them and held it, biting his lip. He cursed himself out loud, his cheeks flushing crimson. He turned and ran, as fast as he could with his hurt leg, away from the gym, his books and Levi.

"Tch..." Levi shook his head from his place inside the gym. What the hell was Eren doing? That boy was a completely awkward clutz. Levi took a sip of water, watching the pages of Eren's books flap gently in the wind from their place on the dirty pavement. His room-mate was a complete idiot, an awkward brat that constantly followed him around like a dog. He wondered if Eren had followed him to the gym. If that's what he had done, that would be thoroughly creepy... Not that that wouldn't be out of character to be honest, the boy had in fact been literally staring at him across a library for hald a bloody year. He had seen Eren there about 10 minutes previously but he'd been looking blankly at the glass with glazed over eyes, obviously deep in thought. Maybe he hadn't noticed him until just a few moments previous... Either way, he was annoying as fuck.

Eren ran as fast as he could, his cheeks burning up. He slung his bag over his bag and slammed head first into two doors and careened three times into walls as he half limped/half sprinted his way painfully back to his room. He was flustered and horribly embarrassed for being caught staring, Levi probably hated him even MORE now if that was even damn possible! He should have just gone with Armin and the others, then this would never have happened! He fumbled with his door key and dropped it as he tried to unlock his room. He snatched it back up with shaking fingers and finally managed to unlock the door and open it. He slammed it behind him and threw his bag on the floor, jumping onto his bed. He buried his face into his pillow and groaned. This was a complete nightmare...

 **(A/N:) You've got to admit that Eren's awkwardness is pretty adorable... Hope you enjoyed this chapter, thanks so much for reading! :D**


	5. Chapter 5: Embarrassment

Levi knocked on he and Eren's door, wanting to make sure he could come in, not knowing if Eren was changing or something. When no reply came, he opened the door and peered around. He spotted Eren sprawled out on his bed and rolled his eyes. He glares at Eren's bag that was situated in the middle of the floor in perfect tripping position. He tossed his gym bag on his bed and then closed the door again, headed for a shower. When he came back, Eren was still in the same position as last time. Levi had his normal clothes on again, the tight black t-shirt he had worn earlier and a black hoodie. He had a towel around his neck and his dark hair was dripping droplets of water onto it and it ran down his face every now and then. Levi opened his gym bag and retrieved Eren's books that he'd picked up for him earlier. He tossed them on the bed beside Eren. The brunette opened one eye and moved the pillow just about enough so that he could see what it was and he saw his dirtied books. "Thanks..." He grumbled into his soft pillow before burying his face back into it. Levi just grunted in response.

"How's your leg?" Levi grumbled, looking at the sprawled out teen. So he'd seen, huh? How embarrassing... Levi had seen everything. Eren just let out a low groan in response and Levi shook his head and sighed. He got his laptop out and sat on his bed, leaning on the wall. He glanced at Eren over the screen with his sharp eyes. "Are you planning on getting up any time soon, brat?"

"No..." Eren's muffled voice grumbled into his pillow. He was horrifically embarrassed, Levi was probably laughing at him behind his back right now.

"Fine." Levi logged on and got up his work that he needed to finish. Eren listened to the tapping of Levi's speedy typing for a long while. His back ached from lying the way he was and his leg was aching from hitting it. He rolled over and glanced at his room-mate. Levi looked up when he felt Eren's eyes on him and Eren hastily turned away, his cheeks glowing red once more.

"Eren, why the hell do you look so embarrassed?" He asked casually, looking back down at his work.

"Why do you think?" Eren snapped quietly, glaring at the door.

"I really don't know, you're very strange." Levi murmured as he typed.

"Wow, thanks(!)" Eren said sarcastically, pouting to himself moodily as he glared at Levi once more.

"Don't pout, it makes you look like a child." Levi grumbled quietly without looking up at him. Eren looked at him in shock. How had he known he was pouting without looking?

"Wha...? How did you know I was pouting?"  
"Well you just admitted you were there, glad to know I was right." Eren watched him with a furrowed brow as he spoke in his usual rich, monotone voice. He seemed so casual and it put Eren on edge a bit. The way Levi did these sort of things was rather creepy, Levi was quite a curious person.

"H-how did you know though?" Eren's flush started to fade as they changed subject and he was taken over with curiosity and shock. Levi shrugged.

"I just did. It's what you do when I'm sarcastic or make you annoyed. I don't think you even know when you do it, do you? Now be quiet, I'm trying to work." Eren continued to frown and looked at the door in silence. They'd only known each other properly for a day, boy, Levi picked things up quickly... The way he did it was scary, it was freaky and Eren wondered what else he remembered. He swallowed. . He groaned quietly and flopped face down onto his pillow again as he remembered everything. He was a complete mess. Levi watched him and couldn't help the small smile that twitched at the corner of his mouth.

 **(A/N:) Levi did a little smile ;) Hope you enjoyed, thx AGAIN!**


	6. Chapter 6: Strange Behaviour

Bleep, bleep ble- Levi leaned over and turned the alarm clock off as it hit 7am.

"Come on brat, get up or there'll be no food left for you and I have a lecture soon." Levi saved his work and shut the lid of his silver apple laptop. He pushed himself off of his bed and stretched his arms out. He straightened his t-shirt out and folded his arms across his chest, looking down at Eren still lying face down on his bed.

"Oi, Jaeger." He said a little louder and Eren grumbled something inaudible. "Come on Eren, I'm sure your friends are missing you." He grumbled. That made Eren frown as he thought of something and sat up.

"What about you? I never see you with anyone, where are your friends?" He asked with a furrowed brow, tilting his head to the side slightly in question. Levi shrugged.

"I don't have any." He said casually and grabbed his folded up hoodie from the end of his bed. Eren looked him up and down, thinking about what he said. He looked at Levi's tight black jeans and black t-shirt, the black hoodie with white strings and zip he was pulling on over it and his black trainers with white laces, the gothic bracelet things he had round his wrists, those rubber ones and a studded leather one. He was thoroughly emo, Eren could see that... But he found it so hot. He had always known it, and always thought that was the reason he didn't hang around with people, he just preferred being alone as that was the sort of person he was... But since he found that photo in Levi's drawer, Eren had been having doubts. There must be some other reason he didn't want or have friends. He had been wearing fully black in that photo from what he could see so it wasn't that he'd turned the way he was now after that was taken... He obviously cared for the people in the picture as he'd kept the photo and had smiled (well, slightly smiled) in it, which was obviously a very rare thing for Levi, he was obviously just as moody back then as he was now. The picture only looked a year or two old. Eren wondered why Levi was so against friends.

"Why not?" Eren asked, getting to his feet, his hair and clothes a mess. His bruised knee ached where he'd hit it but there was no other damage, it would heal in about a week probably...

"I don't do friends."

"What do you mean 'you don't do friends'? Why not, friends are great!" Eren exclaimed. Maybe this was why he was so dark with Eren, maybe he was about to find out why... Levi stayed silent and opened the door for him. The brunette stood there for a few long moments before accepting that he wasn't going to get an answer anytime soon. He sighed and his shoulders slumped as he trailed out of the room to go and get showered. When he came back, Levi was on his phone waiting for him. He took his keys out of his jeans and stood by the door when he saw Eren coming, wanting to lock up and go. Eren gathered his things and then went out of the room with Levi. The shorter male locked the door behind them and they went their separate ways. Eren went to knock on Armin's door but no reply came.

"Armin? Connie?" Still no reply. "Not back yet, huh..." Eren mumbled to himself and shoved his hands in his pockets. Well that was awkward, he'd just stood outside someone's door and left with no one, hopefully no one had seen. He followed after Levi, his hair hiding his eyes. He kept his distance from Levi but watched his back. He was pretty much 100% sure Levi knew he was watching him, that guy seemed to know everything... They got down to the canteen and Eren moodily went to go get something to eat. He was starving and hadn't eaten properly for about a day. Yesterday he had had a coffee at breakfast and half a packet of crisps at lunch. His stomach growled as he suddenly realised just how hungry he was and became conscious that he had no money in his hoodie pockets. He pulled his hands out and frantically searched his jean pockets before rechecking his hoodie and jeans again.

"Shit..." He muttered to himself.

"What's up with you brat?" A familiar deep voice asked from behind him. Levi was holding a bottle of water, Eren noticed that he hardly ate anything. Levi was very thin but very strong, Eren didn't know where the hell he got all his energy from. He didn't eat, he didn't sleep... He met his grey eyes and his cheeks blushed slightly. "I er... Left my money upstairs." Levi scoffed and rolled his eyes, digging in his pocket. He pulled out a fiver and handed it to Eren. Eren looked down at it in shock, his emerald eyes wide.

"Wha...W-why are you giving me this? You hate me." He tried to shove it back in Levi's hand but Levi folded his arms. "Levi?"

"Look, do you want to get something or not? It will all be gone if you just stand here. Go on, bring me the change when you're done." Levi leant on the wall to wait and Eren looked at him in complete confusion. Sure, he liked the fact that Levi was talking to him, but this was weird.

"Levi, why?"

"Are you my room-mate?"

"Er, yes?

"Then take the money, and go and buy something brat."

"But eh-"

"Go before I change my mind!" Levi snapped, his eyes flashing. Eren shut his mouth and blinked at Levi before slowly turning to go and do what he was told. He went and got a bottle of water and that was it. Levi cursed under his breath and went over to the brunette.

"Move." Levi grabbed him some proper food and took the money back and the water. He went to pay for it and Eren stood watching with wide eyes. He fiddled nervously with his fingers. Levi came back over to him and shoved the food and drink into his arms with a glare. He pocketed the rest of his money.

"Th-thanks Levi." Eren whispered, stunned and lost for words.

"Hmph. Just don't think this is going to become a habit, next time you forget your money you're on your own. We're not friends." Eren nodded numbly and Levi turned to go. He was in complete confusion, maybe Levi wasn't as heartless as he had first thought... Either that or he just felt sorry for Eren being so awkward and stupid around him. Watching him leave, Eren wondered why he'd done that. It was obviously something to do with being room-mates, maybe it was just the fact he knew that if they were going to share a room, they had to at least make _some_ effort to get along. Eren blinked and shook his head as he got carried away with his thoughts. He realised he was just standing there awkwardly and hurriedly looked for a place to sit. He spotted Christa with Ymir (two girls he'd met last year) across the other side of the room and hurriedly went to sit with them. He wasn't too fond of Ymir but Christa was nice and wouldn't send him away. He was pretty damn sure they were in love and Ymir was very protective of Christa.

About ten minutes later, Eren felt a tap on his shoulder and turned around to see Armin, Connie and Sasha back from town.

"Hey Eren!" Sasha grinned at him. "I got loads of food, look." She held up a large carrier bag proudly and Eren rolled his eyes.

"Here Eren, we all got you this because you seemed down in the dumps." Armin lifted another small bag and put it beside Eren on the table. "Go on, look inside. It's nothing much but hopefully you like it anyway." Eren reached into the bag and pulled out a pack of new drawing pencils. He liked art, but only his friends really knew about it. He was always drawing when he got the time but he was always embarrassed about it. He reached in again and pulled out a small A5 sketchbook. Armin took the empty plastic bag nervously, waiting to see what Eren thought of his gift. Connie watched over Armin's shoulder.

"Thanks guys..." Eren said quietly, looking down at them. He didn't own many things and rarely ever got anything unless it was a special occasion. "Really, thank you... I'll pay you back when I can."

"You don't need to give us anything back Eren, we just wanted to cheer you up." Connie said, shooting him a smile.  
"Yeah!" Sasha piped up, beaming. Armin smiled softly at Eren, glad he could make his best friend happy. Eren smiled back. He didn't understand why everyone was so nice to him, he wasn't worth it. Even Levi had done something for him to his complete shock. Eren still couldn't help his crush on him, even though he wanted to hate Levi the way Levi hated him... But did Levi actually hate him? All of the questions from earlier returned to his mind and he wondered if Levi had reasons for being the way he was. Armin, Connie and Sasha had bought him a gift and Levi had bought him his food for him, this was truly an amazing start to a new day after the terrible and awkward events that happened the day before...

 **(A/N:) Wow, this fic has only been up a couple of hours and I've already had some amazing reviews from SecretWishX! Thanks for them! :D Thanks for reading :)**


	7. Chapter 7: Sense of Humour

Eren headed back to his room, his new art stuff in his large hoodie pockets. The sketchbook just about fitted and was sticking out of the pocket. He knocked lightly on the door to his and Levi's room before stepping inside and closing the door. "Hey Levi." He said quietly and Levi nodded in acknowledgement, not looking up from his phone. "Thanks again for paying for me, it means a lot."

"Like I said, don't expect it to become a habit." Levi grumbled. Eren shook his head as he went to sit on the edge of his own bed.

"No, no of course I wouldn't. I'm just grateful that's all."

"Hm..." Levi mumbled quietly and Eren shifted uncomfortably in the silence.

"So... does this mean we're friends...?"

"No." Levi said without a moments hesitation. Eren had expected that answer and he cocked his head to one side, his brow furrowed in thought.

"Ok..." He didn't want to start the questioning now after what Levi had done for him, he didn't want to upset him, he had obviously been very protective of that photo, so it was obviously a very private, personal issue. He highly doubted that Levi would ever open up about it, he was just very curious about it. Eren shuffled back and propped up his pillows. He leant back on them and pulled the small sketchbook from his pocket along with his small tin of 5 new proper art pencils. He opened it up and there was a rubber included inside along with a small sharpener. Levi glanced up at the sound of the tin and peered over at Eren.

"What's that?" He questioned, watching Eren.

"My friends got me some stuff in town yesterday." Eren held up the tin and book to show him and Levi nodded before turning back to his phone. That was the most he had expected Levi to do, he was surprised he took enough interest to even ask what Eren had got. Eren smiled to himself and pulled out a pencil to sketch something. He couldn't be bothered with work right now, especially after everything that had happened in the last hour. Work would just ruin his mood.

The two sat quietly on their beds, Eren could hear the quiet beat of music coming from Levi's earphones as he drew and Levi stared at his phone. After about 20 minutes, Eren admired his work. He got up and went to the small bin that was tucked under the desk and he dusted his rubber shavings into it, knowing Levi wouldn't appreciate it if he just swiped them all over the floor.  
"You're learning." Levi said from his place on his bed as Eren brushed the mess into the bin. The messy teen glanced over his shoulder at Levi who was watching him over his knees.

"Sorry what?"

"You used the bin." Levi looked back down at his phone and continued scrolling

"Oh! Yeah, I thought you wouldn't appreciate it if I scattered this all over the floor." Eren said, straightening up.

"You're right, I wouldn't." Levi said plainly. "What did you draw?" He murmured, not looking up.

"O-oh...um..." Eren glanced down at the page of his book where he had been drawing Levi. He had stared at him for 6 months and had drawn him a few times in the library so was quite practised, he had drawn what he remembered he saw at the gym. It was quite an accurate representation, Eren had a good eye for proportion and a photographic memory, he could remember scenes easily... Especially if they looked like that. He realised just how damn creepy and stalkerish he really was, bloody hell no wonder Levi didn't like him very much. "Nothing, never mind..." He said hurriedly and closed the book. Levi peeked over his knees suspiciously as Eren slipped his book into his possessions drawer and shrugged, it was none of his business. It was obviously something embarrassing. Levi knew the boy could draw, he'd seen him drawing random things in the library before, creative doodles... Even one sketch of him but he hadn't wanted to embarrass him by mentioning it. Levi had a feeling that's exactly what Eren had just done again but he didn't want to embarrass him so kept quiet. Eren sighed and flopped down on his bed, gazing at the ceiling. After a minute, he spoke up.

"Levi, what's the time?"

"Time you got a watch." Levi grumbled in answer.

"Oh haha, but seriously." Eren, turned his head and watched him. Levi didn't look back at him, as usual.

"There's a clock there."

"Yeah but you're on a phone."

"And there's a clock there." Levi said in a monotone voice before adding, "Don't pout." Eren watched him in shock. The male hadn't even glanced at him. Eren had been just about to pout in annoyance and hadn't even got there yet.

"That's amazing... How do you do that?" Eren said as he rolled onto his front and turned the clock so he could see the time. Levi simply shrugged.

"I just do." He said boringly. Eren shook it off and looked at the time. It was 8:20 am.

"The time is-"

"8:20, I know, I'm on a phone." Eren couldn't help but smile. "And I have a lecture in 10 minutes." Levi really did have a sense of humour, it may be a dark and sarcastic one but it was there. He seemed a very sarcastic person and although he didn't show the humour on his face or in his voice, the words still came out and it was definitely there. He was finding Levi more and more attractive every time he saw him or spoke to him, even when they fought. It was so aggravating that when they were fighting, all he wanted to do was hate him but instead he just ended up fancying him more. It was so frustrating and he hated himself for it. He couldn't deny it, he just couldn't stop loving Levi no matter what he did. He loved Levi and he couldn't help it. He just wished that Levi would love him back...

 **(A/N:) Eren is awkward and ever so slightly creepy... Oh well, still adorable! I am only going to upload 10 chapters today even though I've written 40 because I don't want to run out, I want to be consistent with uploads and then there won't be a long gap while I write a new chapter... Even if I do basically write one everyday... Sometimes I don't have time or can't be bothered though so I want to have some stock piled up... And I can leave you in suspense ;D Thank you for reading!**


	8. Chapter 8: A Helping Hand

It was another day and Eren and Levi had been sharing for a short while now. The brunette glared at his page. His lecturer was speaking and Eren was completely confused. He looked at the complicated symbols on the paper, desperately trying to make sense of it. He had a computing exam next week and had no idea what he was doing. He was so confused by it. He sighed in aggravation as the bell rang sharply to signal the end of the lecture. His class started to pack up their things and exit the room. Armin looked down at his friend as he slung his bag over his back. He tilted his head and frowned at him. He walked down the stairs and stood beside him.

"Eren, are you ok? Come on, we've got a free period now, we're meeting Connie and the others by the gym."

"Yeah, yeah I know..." Eren grumbled and screwed up his sheet, shoving it into his bag without care. He moodily put his bag over his shoulder and waited for Armin to leave.

"What's up? Do you not understand the topic?" Armin asked quietly as he started to walk down the rest of the steps towards the door.

"Nope, not at all." Eren growled, his hands in the pockets of his jeans. He was fed up, Armin was good at everything. Why couldn't he understand it?

"I can help you later if you like." Armin offered kindly, looking up at his moody friend with soft blue eyes.

"No, it's fine." Eren grumbled through gritted teeth. If Armin helped him he would feel even more stupid and useless than he already did.

"Are you su-"  
"Yes Armin, just leave it!" Eren snapped in frustration and Armin looked taken aback. He swallowed as Eren shouted but did as he was told and didn't mention it again.

Computing. Eren's worst and least favourite subject, why oh why had he chosen to take this bloody course! Eren scribbled out yet another page of notes and screwed it up, tossing it into the bin he had placed on the end of his bed. It was full to the brim of screwed up paper and crumpled torn pieces. Eren leaned back on his dark green pillows, his fist clutching the crinkled sheet of information he had been given for revision. Why couldn't he do it? Levi looked up from his laptop and glanced behind him from his place at the small desk. He watched Eren moodily glare at his paper. His hair was a dishevelled mess from where he'd run his hand through it numerous times in frustration and helplessness. He'd shared a room with the brat for 3 weeks now, so he knew how angry the boy could get, but he'd never seen him so panicked and stressed over one piece of work before before. Looking at the full bin, he twisted his lips to the side and furrowed his brow.

"Eren? What are you doing?"

"Nothing, I can't do it!" Eren snapped, screwing up his sheet and tossing it in the bin. It bounced out and landed on the floor. Levi looked down at it and then back up at Eren who was glaring darkly at his knees as he sat hunched with his arms folded. Eren huffed as he glared at his legs, he was completely useless. He was going to fail this exam and be a laughing stock. The brunette felt the bed move slightly and heard the crunching of paper. He frowned, looking up. Levi was sitting on the edge of Eren's bed, unravelling the tight ball Eren had screwed his sheet into. The male flattened it out and read it in silence as Eren watched.

"What don't you understand Jaeger?" Levi asked, turning to him once he'd finished.

"All of it! I don't get any of it, I have no idea what I'm doing!" Eren glared back at his knees, his eyes flashing. He knew that Levi took computing too. Not only did he know that Levi took computing, he also knew that he was exceptional at it. He was probably laughing at Eren's stupidity right now... 'What an idiot, this is simple shit.' He could imagine him saying that. Eren heard him shuffle closer and he avoided his eye moodily, not wanting to hear what he was going to say, knowing the next words out of his mouth were bound to be sarcastic or offensive. He turned out to be quite wrong.

"Let me help you then." Levi grumbled, watching Eren blankly. Eren looked up at him in shock. Help him? He'd never thought Levi was the type to offer help to anyone, although in all fairness he had been wrong about quite a number of things about him.

"W-what?" He stammered, looking up at him with a shocked, unsure frown. Levi crossed his right leg over his left as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"Come on, pass the pen. Hurry up brat, I have my own work to get back to." Eren fumbled about on the sheets, frantically looking for his biro. Levi glared at him impatiently until Eren held it out for him. He wiped it on the sheets before he clicked the pen and Eren watched him curiously.

Levi explained the topic thoroughly and Eren watched over his shoulder as he drew arrows and wrote key words on the sheet for him. He listened in silence for half an hour as Levi went through everything and wrote some revision notes out for him on paper. Levi explained it so much better than the lecturer did, and he was starting to get the hang of it.

"So... If I switched the code around, er, here, it would do the opposite?" Eren pointed at the writing on the sheet and Levi pointed to the line underneath, tapping it with the pen.

"Not quite, it would be there because otherwise the variable will do the wrong function." Levi said and Eren nodded in understanding.

"Levi..."

"What brat?" Levi sighed, writing down a couple of words.

"I think I understand it..." Eren practically whispered. He looked up from the paper and watched Levi with shining green eyes. Levi grunted in approval and met his eyes with his moody grey ones.

"Good." He handed Eren back the pen and sheet along with his new notes.

"Thank you so much... Seriously, I don't know how to thank you. I was so confused and the exam is next we-"

"Don't thank me brat, I didn't do anything special, I just wrote words..." Levi grumbled as he got off of the bed.

"But why? Why did you help me?" Eren asked quietly, frowning in confusion as he looked up at the handsome ravenette.

"You're my room-mate, that's what room-mates do Jaeger... And you were annoying me by making a noise, screwing up paper." Levi added, turning and going back to the desk.

"Well thank you Levi, I really appreciate it..." Eren breathed, looking down at his notes with wide eyes. It made sense. The topic actually made sense to him now. He lifted his head and looked at Levi's back, he was so mysterious. The more he thought about it, the more he realised that he knew practically nothing about him, Levi was so secretive and kept his reasons hidden. Eren appreciated it so much and he couldn't believe that Levi had actually come to help him. He hugged the notes to his chest, having to hold back from rushing to hug his crush. God he loved Levi, even if he was moody and shared little. He really fucking loved him...

 **(A/N:) Aw cute. Ok, only a couple more chapters are going to be uploaded today, a coupld more will come tomorrow hopefully! Hope you are enjoying it.**


	9. Chapter 9: Confusing Emotions

Levi blinked as paper was thrust in his face. He punched it away and glared at the owner. Eren shoved it back in his face.

"Look! I passed! I got an A and it's all thanks to you!" Eren said excitedly as he waved his computing exam paper in Levi's face.

"Get it out of my face." Levi growled commandingly and Eren did as he was told. Levi went back to his work and Eren sat down at the table next to him. He had known Levi would be here, he was at his usual table in the library and Eren had just had his exam returned. "Jaeger, what are you doing." He glared at him as he sat down. "Who said you could sit here with me?"

"I did." Eren gave him a small cheeky smile but Levi's face stayed completely barren of emotion.

"And I didn't. Go away brat..." Levi turned back to his papers, trying to ignore the excited teen. He was glad he had passed but was pissed off at how he was now annoying him. "Don't pout." He added moodily and Eren didn't even looked surprised.

"I knew you'd say that, I still don't know how you do it." Eren sighed, resting his chin in his hand as he watched the older student writing.

"Eren, go away." He grumbled in annoyance as Eren's presence started to really get on his nerves. He had to spend enough time with the stupid brat in his room, he doesn't want to be tortured with more. Well, tortured was sometimes _exactly_ the way to describe his time with Eren but other times he quite liked the guy... No, no, what the hell was wrong with him. He mentally shook his head, not looking up at him from his paper. He didn't like him at all, he didn't do friends and he didn't want to get attached to Eren. In silence he pushed his chair back and gathered his papers.

"Levi? Where are you going?" Eren watched him with a sad frown and Levi caught a glimpse as he placed some sheets neatly into his folder. By accident, he briefly met Eren's large, green, shining, adorab- No. Levi hastily grabbed his bag and left the library. Eren's eyes followed him sadly and he slumped in his seat. He let out a sigh. Running his hand through his hair, he wished that Levi liked him... He wished that Levi would want to be with him. He knew Levi and him would never be anything, but he would at _least_ like the guy to be his friend...

 **(A/N:) Dun, dun... DUUUUN! Levi nearly said the a word... ;) Thanks for reading, sorry this was such a short chapter. Only one more being uploaded today, sorry!**


	10. Chapter 10: It Wasn't Like The Movies

It had all happened so quickly. One moment Eren had been sprinting hurriedly down a corridor with his books clutched to his chest, horribly late for class, and the next, he was straddling Levi on the floor...

Bleep, bleep ble- The alarm was turned off for the second time by an already awake and dressed Levi. "Come on Jaeger, get up." He said sharply, waiting for his sleepy room-mate to wake up. Eren stirred under his covers and groaned quietly, cocooning himself in the warm duvet. Why should he get up? Why would he want to when it was so warm and comfortable under these covers yet and like an industrial freezer in the rest of the room. He snuggled into them more, his sleepy eyes shut. He was so comfortable, he felt like he could just melt into the bed and lie there forever. "Jaeger." Levi's deep voice barked when Eren didn't move.

"Five more minutes..." He grumbled drowsily and covered his head with the cosy blankets, his face pressed into his soft pillow.

"Eren, that was the snooze, you've just had your five minutes. The alarm went off twice, get your lazy arse up." Levi shoved the lump under the covers firmly with his foot and Eren whined in protest. He didn't move and Levi glared at him hiding in his bed, eyes flashing. He stood there for a few moments before rolling his eyes in annoyance and sitting back on his own bed. If Eren wanted to lie there and get no food, then fine. Eren drifted back off to sleep in his warm nest of duvet and Levi sat on his phone until it was time to go down for breakfast. When the clock hit 7.30, Levi got off of his bed and looked at the lump of blankets that was Eren. "Eren it's 7.30, you'll be late for breakfast." He grumbled, going to the door. He paused and Eren just moaned sleepily, shifting his position slightly. He wasn't really listening in his sleepy state, dreams were still mixing with reality. Levi stood there for a few moments before sighing an opening the door. "Fine, be late for class too... Just make sure to lock up when you leave." The door shut behind him.

Golden sunlight streamed through the window panes and Eren drew in a deep breath, squinting in the brightness. A sharp ringing had woken him up but it wasn't continuing. He thought it was the alarm clock, but apparently not... His hair was a jagged mess and he was still bundled up in bed. He reached out an uncoordinated arm and fumbled for the clock. He turned it so that he could see the digital display. 9.06 am. That couldn't be right, he was either dreaming or too sleepy to see properly and concentrate. Eren rubbed his tired eyes and blinked his sleep away. He looked again. 9.06. No... Why hadn't Levi got him up? How had he managed to stay asleep so late? That bell was to signal the start of his lecture at 9.00! Eren shoved the sheets back, gasping as the cold autumn air hit him and he stumbled his way out of bed, his leg getting caught up in the tangled sheets. He tripped and landed on Levi's bed. He hastily pulled himself up and yanked his foot from his duvet. He shoved it back on his bed, knocking over the clock as he did so. He picked it up and knocked Levi's book on the floor with his butt as he bent over. He cursed and picked that up too, putting them back on the table. He looked worriedly at Levi's messed up bed and hastily tried to straighten out the sheets and pillow. Eren spun in a full circle in his panic, not knowing what to do. He rushed over to the chest of drawers, frantically grabbing a shirt and some jeans. He slammed the drawer and turned around, hitting his shin on the hard boards of his bed under the mattress. He cursed, clutching it. He scrambled to pull his night clothes off, yanking his clean shirt and jeans on. Fumbling for his bag under the bed, Eren hit his head and cursed even louder rushing dizzily to the door. He threw it open and sprinted down the corridor before skidding to a halt and running back, his face flushed in panic. He ran back inside the open door, grabbed his keys and hastily locked up with trembling fingers. Armin and the others were probably wondering where he was, they must have knocked on his door earlier and when they got no reply, assumed he was already awake and downstairs. Running down the stairs, Eren nearly fell flat on his face by tripping on the last step. EVERYTHING was going wrong today and it had only just started, he was being unbelievably clumsy. He ran through the corridors, pushing past people with free periods. He careened into a wall as he turned a corner but kept running.

"Oh God, oh God, oh God!" He ran and ran and was about to turn down the corridor to get to his maths lecture when- SLAM! He ran directly into someone and they both toppled over. Eren yelped as he landed on whoever it was, his head on their chest. He opened one eye that he had closed as he embraced for impact. No. That smell, that clean smell that he loved and knew well. Levi. Eren hastily lifted his head and realised in horror that he was straddling the ravenette on the floor, their faces just an inch or two apart. His face flooded red as he looked down at Levi's own flushed face. He was shaking with anger and Eren swallowed nervously in embarrassment. There were a few other people in the corridor and they laughed when the two collided.

"What the fuck are you doing brat?!" Levi yelled, shoving Eren off of him. He scrambled back, glaring at the teen.

"I-I'm sorry Levi!" Eren squeaked. Levi pulled himself to his feet and straightened his hair and clothes, glaring at Eren. He snatched up his bag and slung it over his shoulder.

"What the hell is wrong with you..." He muttered, leaving Eren kneeling on the floor, his face flushing an impossible scarlet. Levi disappeared round the corner. He was just as embarrassed as Eren was, he hated to admit it but he found the boy rather attractive... No he didn't. He didn't like boys. His brain was playing tricks on him because he'd fallen over, yes, that was it, he was confused, that was all. He needed to get away and clear his head...

Eren stayed kneeling in the middle of the corridor, all thoughts of his lecture gone. Gazing blankly at the wall, Eren's head buzzed with thoughts of just how incredibly embarrassed he was. Any sort of bond he had created with Levi was most likely gone now, he knew Levi didn't like him but now he was probably back to hating his guts. The bell rang. Eren had knelt there for about three quarters of an hour, feeling numb. What had just happened? He had ran head first into his room-mate/crush and accidentally straddled him on the floor. He had rested his head on his chest! The brunette blushed at the thought, Levi was hot, but this whole situation wasn't good. It wasn't like the movies where someone falls on their crush and they both laugh awkwardly and when they try to help one another to their feet, one dops something and they both try and pick it up... and then they stare into one another's eyes. Oh no. In real life, the crush had shoved the other off of him, yelled at the other and then stormed off. Levi's words kept on echoing through his head. _"What the hell is wrong with you..."_ He obviously thought Eren was messed up in the head and hated him. Eren swallowed, his chest aching. Why, why did things always happen to him? It was always him! He was broken from his thoughts when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Eren? Are you ok?" Armin bent down worriedly in front of him. "We didn't see you earlier and you turn up here! What's wrong? Why are you so red and why are you on the floor, are you sick?"

"No... I'm not sick." Eren whispered, not looking at anyone. "Just a complete idiot."

 **(A/N:) Bloody awkward Eren. Well, this is my last chapter update for today, hopefully you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading! Hopefully another chapter or two will be up tomorrow! Left you in sort of a bit of suspense, didn't I, huh? ;D**


	11. Chapter 11: Harsh Words

_How could I have been so stupid?_ Eren lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling in silence. He was so embarrassed. Levi was coming back from a lecture in about 5 minutes, this was going to be horribly embarrassing. He lay there in waiting and 5 minutes felt like 5 hours as he waited in suspense, his heart thumping in his chest. He heard the door open and swallowed, glancing over at the door. Levi hid behind his hair and completely ignored him.

"Hey Levi... I-I'm sorry about running into you..."

"Leave me alone Eren..." He grumbled and sat down on his bed. Eren swallowed and pusheD himself up onto his elbows.

"Levi, I just said I'm sorry... Are we good?" He asked quietly.

"We were never 'good' Jaeger, we were never even 'ok', you're not my friend, I sit in here with you because I have to, not because I bloody well want to." Levi snapped hotly. This was not strictly true... Sometimes he hated Eren and wanted to beat the shit out of him but sometimes he liked Eren's company because he had spirit, and he liked him as a person even though he wouldn't admit it... But a lot of things were going on for Levi and this incident had just made him explode.

"Sorry..."

"Eren get out."

"Ok, you're overreacting now." Eren sat up and glared at the male on the other bed. There was no reply. "I simply ran into you, I have apologised, you are so... so..."

"So what, Jaeger?" Levi snapped, glaring at him.

"So... selfish!" He exclaimed and Levi just looked at him blankly with an arched eyebrow, making Eren even _more_ angry. "Well... say something!"

"I think I've said it twice already. GO. Away. Eren."

"I thought I liked you Levi, I really did! For 6 months I have watched you in the library, wishing I could meet you properly one day, but this is what it turned out to be like! I knew you'd be moody but you are rude, moody, emotionless, judgemental and mean." Eren snapped, glaring at Levi and he got even more pissed off when he saw that Levi looked as emotionless as always. "Why do you have to be like that? You don't let me know how you fucking feel, do you know how it makes _me_ feel? You don't talk to me, you don't talk to anyone! You 'don't do friends' or anything. Is it amusing to you?" Levi just continued to steadily glare at him. He had his reasons. He had reasons for being the way he was and he wasn't willing to share them. "For God's sake!" Eren jumped up in a rage and went to the door. "I apologised to you! Why don't you accept it?"

"I never said I didn't accept it, I just told you to go away. I never said it was because of what you did, I just told you to leave me alone. You just assumed it was because of that. I'm over that now, it's you who seems not to be."

"Well you could have acknowledged my apology!" Eren cried out, looking at Levi in disbelief. He was so difficult to get along with! "So why do you want me to go then?"

"It's none of your business Jaeger. I need to be on my own." Levi grumbled and took out his phone, ignoring Eren. Eren rolled his eyes and left the room to go and see Armin. Maybe he had been a bit harsh with what he said, but seriously! Levi was so difficult to talk to, and he could have at least accepted his apology rather than let him think he was still upset by what happened! But why had he been upset? He hadn't looked sad, he had looked as boring as usual... maybe he was just good at hiding when he was troubled...?

 **(A/N:) Thanks for reading! Hope you are enjoying it, sorry that it is sort of a slow build up, I want you to actually care about Eren and Levi and their relationship with one another, I didn't want to just rush in or you wouldn't feel anything for them so that's why we are only now starting to see things with Levi. Thx again! :)**


	12. Chapter 12: Get Out of my Damn Mind!

"What the hell is wrong with you..." He muttered, leaving Eren kneeling on the floor, his face flushed an impossible scarlet. Levi disappeared around the corner. Hiss cheeks went red as a pair of guys in Eren's year, he knew one of their names was Jean, laughed at him. They walked either side of him and Levi had to bite his lip to stop him from shouting verbal abuse at them to get them to go away. Instead he just ignored them. He was not a child, doing this sort of thing was what 12 year olds did, not 16 year olds... right? They were acting like kids, weren't they? He wasn't really sure, he didn't know how kids were...

"Alright faggot?" Levi gritted his teeth as Jean's friend elbowed him.

"Here, thought you might like this!" Jean piped up, shoving a poster in front of his face. It was coloured like a rainbow and was saying how homosexuality is evil. God knows where he got that poster. He waved it in Levi's face, making him angrier and angrier. After about a minute, Levi snatched it, screwed it up and slammed a hard punch into Jean's face. Now he felt like he was acting like a child... But Jean had deserved it in his opinion. Blood spurted out everywhere at the contact of Levi's fist and Jean's nose and splattered the wall.

"Oh, need a tissue?" Levi said sarcastically as Jean yelled and clutched his quickly bruising, bleeding nose. He shoved the screwed up poster against it hard, making him yell even more. "There you go!" Levi turned and left, leaving Jean sprawled against the wall with his shocked friend panicking. He could not be doing with this. He was having fights with himself daily. Every time he looked at Eren, he felt more attracted to the boy. It was maddening. He hated it. Yet another thing wrong with himself, it seemed that being gay was a horrific thing that should be punished. Levi didn't know much about religion or anything like that and had never studied that sort of thing... He just thought he was wrong and disgusting to find Eren attractive. SO did Eren find him attractive and just not care about the fact that everyone seems to think it's evil? He never really spoke to anyone so didn't know if it really was a bad thing or not, but Levi just treated it as yet another thing that is wrong with him. He hated it, he hated the way Eren made him feel, he was starting to really hate himself...

He went to his next lecture which was a maths lecture and all through it, all he could think about was Eren, Jean and his stupid friend. He glared at the desk and scribbled on paper to get his anger out. The lecturer had kept frowning at him, noticing how disturbed he seemed. Levi was always listening and desperate to learn for some reason but he seemed troubled by something. He just couldn't get that damn boy out of his head. _Get out of my damn mind Eren!_

When he headed back up to their room later, he just hoped Eren wouldn't be there. Levi just wanted to be on his own, he was fed up of pretending he didn't care, he just wanting to sit on his own and think. He couldn't face anyone right now. He sighed when he reached for their door handle and groaned quietly to himself when he saw Eren inside. He shut the door behind him.

"Hey Levi... I-I'm sorry about running into you..."

"Leave me alone Eren..." He grumbled and sat down on his bed.

 **(A/N:) Ok, so hopefully that didn't confuse you too much, it was Levi's point of view of the same scene as Eren had before their argument a couple of chapters ago, I hope you didn't get confused... Thanks for reading! :)**


	13. Chapter 13: EREN

So Eren did like him then... But Levi couldn't admit it back. Eren had said to him that he had liked him for at least 6 months while he watched him in the library. Levi had always found the boy strangely attractive although his staring was quite weird... Well, more than quite, it was damn stalkerish to put it plainly. He just couldn't admit it. Everything was wrong with him, he fucking hated it! Later on that day he'd had another lecture and the stress grew more and more, people were looking at him funnily, Jean had obviously spread the news of what had happened. Eren, Eren, EREN. He couldn't get the fucker out of his brain! EREN! Why did he make him feel like this? EREN! Was he really evil or was it ok to like him? EREN! No, no, no, he didn't like him, he was talking nonsense, he was just getting confused with his emotions... EREN! For God's sake, why wouldn't he get out of his head?! EREN! But he was cute, he was funny, he was annoyingly cute in fact, he was an awkward clutz, he had determination, he had fire, he was really cute, as in _really_ cute... Levi couldn't do it anymore –WHY WAS HE SUCH A POOR EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN? HE WAS NOTHING!


	14. Chapter 14: Closed Book

Eren spoke to Armin and decided that maybe he should just forget all the incidents of the day. Levi was obviously upset by something else and that's why he was acting the way he was... Eren went into their room as normal and spoke to him just like he always did. It was weird though, Levi was wearing his hoodie, his hood pulled right over his head and every time Eren spoke, he seemed to grimace. It was like he was trying to desperately forget he was there.

"I'm guessing you still want to be alone, so I'll be quiet..." Eren said quietly and got no reply so he took it as a yes and read his book for a while and then went and showered as per usual. When he got back, Levi hadn't moved. He looked so adorable in that hoodie, all cuddled up, but Eren knew something was wrong... "Goodnight Levi, hope you feel better tomorrow... I'm sorry again... and sorry for what I said earlier..." He said quietly, getting into bed, his eyes sad as he pulled the dark green covers over himself. "Should I turn the light out?" Levi said nothing so Eren just didn't turn it off, just in case. He closed his eyes and turned his back on Levi who quietly turned out the light for him and went back on his phone. Eren sighed quietly. Why was Levi acting even more closed off than usual? He was a closed book, the pages glued shut: Eren couldn't read a word.

 **(A/N:) Ok, this is kind of the last 'normal' chapter for now, we start a main bit with the depressing stuff starting out over the next few... So yeah! Hope you enjoy it...**


	15. Chapter 15: Follow Him

When Eren woke up, he knew something was definitely very wrong with his room-mate. He hadn't even gone to get changed from what he could tell, he was still hiding inside his hoodie. Levi always went for a shower before Eren got up. Always.

Later on, both Levi's lecture and his had been cancelled due to some chemical leak and both classes were having to wait inside another lecture room to find out whether they'd be given any papers to read or whether they would have their lectures in some other room... Or whether they were just allowed to go. Eren stood near Armin, frowning at his room-mate across the room. Levi had his hood pulled over and was hunched into himself, hanging his head. He was leaning on the wall, watching his feet as he scuffed the bottom of his shoes on the floor. His ebony hair was concealing his face from view. He had his hands in his pockets and as far as Eren knew, he hadn't eaten or drunk anything at all that day apart from a bit of water. Eren twisted his mouth to the side, thinking about Levi as he looked over at the skinny male leaning on the wall by himself. Half of him wanted to go and ask him what was wrong but he knew that he would get no reply. After a while Levi glanced up to pull his hair further over his face and caught Eren watching him. He looked away and said nothing, pulling his hair down. He faced the floor again. Biting his lip, Eren watched. Sure Levi was always reserved and quiet, moody and alone, but this wasn't normal, he was obviously really troubled and upset by something – not that he would ever say he was. Itching to go over, Eren shifted his weight form foot to foot. He couldn't stand seeing Levi like this and after a couple of minutes, he couldn't just stand there anymore. He hurriedly rushed over to the ravenette and stood before him. Levi didn't look up.

"Levi...? Are you alright?" He asked quietly. There was silence. "Levi?" He asked again: still not reply. "Levi, are you ok-"

"Of course I am, go away Jaeger!" Levi snapped and glared up through his hair at the teen. Eren swallowed and flinched slightly at his tone but stood his ground.

"But you look upset..."

"I'm not upset for fucks sake, I'm never upset, just piss of Eren..." He growled and looked back down at his feet. Eren didn't know what he was meant to say. He sighed and hung his head. Since Levi had reached up to pull his hair further down, his sleeve had slipped down slightly and got caught on his pocket as he put his hand back inside it. Eren's eyes widened as he saw pale white scars on Levi's left forearm. They were obviously deliberate as they were in rows but they were jagged as he had obviously used his least dominant hand to create them... Levi was left handed. He didn't really think and reached out and snatched up the shorter male's hand. He looked down at them with shocked green eyes.

"Levi! Why did y-"

"Get off!" Levi ripped his arm away and shoved Eren hard. He fell to the ground and the room went silent as everyone turned to look. Levi pulled his sleeve down and stormed from the room, slamming the door behind him.

"Eren? A-are you ok?" Armin hurried over and offered Eren his shaking hand, his blue eyes wide with worry. Eren was too busy looking at the door in complete and utter shock.

"That guy is messed up in the head, bloody emo faggot..." Eren heard someone say to his friends from his right and his head snapped in that direction, eyes flashing dangerously.

"Oi!" He yelled into the silence. The teen turned to look at Eren. He had a brown undercut and a long face. He was tall. He smirked, looking down at Eren on the floor. "Shut it Jean!"

"Did your boyfriend just push you over?" He said loudly, watching with a smirk on his lips. Eren's face filled with colour and he shook with anger as he glared at Jean. Although he was making insults like a complete kid, Eren was incredibly angry and embarrassed.

"He's not my boyfriend! He's my room-mate, there's a big difference! You think you're so funny Jean, he's not messed up in the head and he's not a faggot! Take it back!" Ignoring Armin's hand, Eren scrambled to his feet and stood up in front of Jean, glaring up at him.

"Why so protective then Jaeger?" He tested and Eren swallowed, his eyes flashing. "Because he's my frie... room-mate!"

"So he's not even your friend?"

"H-he doesn't 'do friends, ok? He has had bad experiences, just lay off!" And with that, Eren stormed after Levi (making sure he gave the teen a hard shove before he did). Jean stumbled slightly but he didn't fall.

"Well, both aggressive, both messed up in the head... Both faggots. They're made for each other." Jean said. Armin glared at the tall brunette with fierce blue eyes. If he wasn't so weak he would have knocked Jean out. The way Jean was talking made him look like a 12 year old, not a 16 year old. It made him look really stupid.

"They are not messed up in the head Kirchstein, just shut up... And don't use such derogatory words, there's nothing wrong with being gay, calling someone gay isn't a damn insult." He grumbled and turned to go back towards Connie.

Levi wasn't in their room and Eren hurriedly searched the school for him. He checked the toilets, the canteen, their room again. He wouldn't be in another person's room, he preferred to be alone so would hardly go to anyone when he was upset. Images of Levi's scarred arm kept flashing before Eren's eyes and he shook his head as he searched from lecture room to lecture room, trying to forget what he saw. His raven haired room-mate was nowhere to be seen and Eren glanced at a clock in the last classroom he checked, his eyes wide with worry. He had a lecture in 2 minutes... but he felt that finding Levi was far more important right now. After what he saw, he didn't know what Levi could be doing right now and he had seemed in such a bad state, that Eren was scared. He hurried back to his and Levi's room and ran through the door. He hadn't locked it because he'd been in such a rush. He snatched up his red hoodie and shrugged it on before hurrying off (he locked the door this time).

Eren ran out of the college and out onto the street, looking right and left down the busy pavement. Where the hell would Levi be? He knew that the older male had a lecture that had started 10 minutes ago and it wasn't like Levi to not attend them. He speed walked through the streets, glancing around for the short dark figure that would be Levi. It was quite cold and Eren shivered, doing up his hoodie. He searched around for about an hour before slumping onto the grass on the edge of the park in defeat. He had no idea where Levi was. He hung his head, his messy brown hair covering his eyes. After a few more minutes he glanced up and looked across the park. Maybe Levi was back at college n- There! Eren caught sight of a figure sitting on the edge of a bench with his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands, his dark hooded head hung low. Eren scrambled to his feet, slipping in the mud slightly. He rushed across the damp, slippy grass as fast as his legs could carry him. He hoped and prayed that Levi wouldn't be too mad and upset at him for seeing his arm. Eren suddenly realised that those scars must have been the reason that Levi always wore sweat bands at the gym and always wore a hoodie and some sort of bracelt or band underneath. It was all becoming clear to him now...

"Levi!" He called out to the 19 year old and Levi stiffened, still glaring at his feet. He did not want to talk to that twat... But the twat kept calling him and running towards him. "Levi! I'm so so sorry, I-I wasn't thinking, I-"

"Shut it brat... Just leave me alone..." He grumbled. Eren sat himself down on the bench next to him and Levi edged away in annoyance, not wanting to be so close. "I said, go away!" He growled in frustration, looking in the opposite direction to Eren.

"Will you tell me what's wrong...?" Eren asked softly, quietly.

"Nothing is wrong!" Levi snapped.

"Well there obviously is something wrong, you've missed a lecture... You never do that."

"Stop acting like you know me Jaeger, we've only been sharing for 4 weeks, that doesn't mean you know me!" Levi got up to leave but Eren followed suit.

"I know you well enough to know that's something you don't do..." Starting to walk away, Levi stayed silent. Eren started to follow after him and Levi sped up, trying to get away.

"Piss off Eren!"

"I won't make fun of you, I promise!"

"I don't care, I'm not telling you!" Levi growled, desperately trying to be left alone.

"A ha!" Eren jumped in front of him and Levi bumped into him. "So there IS something wrong, you just said you won't tell me! Please tell me, I won't laugh!" Eren begged but Levi shoved him to the side harshly and Eren stumbled, his arm sore where he pushed him. He didn't fall but nearly did. He regained his balance and carried on following the moody male.

"EREN! PISS OFF!" Levi yelled and Eren swallowed. He stayed silent and walked behind Levi with his head hung, his chocolate coloured hair shielding his face from view. He wasn't going to leave him alone, he wanted to make sure that he was ok and would actually go back to college. So, he followed him...

 **(A/N:) Just saying that I do not think self harm is a good thing, I think it is a very sad and horrible thing. This is where it will start to get more interesting... I will upload the next part tomorrow, where will they go...? You'll have to read the next chapter to find out ;) Hope you are enjoying it, I know I'm not a very good writer but I hope you are liking reading my fic anyway! Thanks! Oh and thank you to** **Sarah Mac 83 for your review!** **:D**


	16. Chapter 16: Across the Rooftops

Levi was fully aware of his follower as he moodily went back into the centre of town. The moment he got a chance, he dived into a crowded area and Eren gasped, trying to rush after him. He was shoved back and forth by the torrent of people.

"Levi!" He called out over the hubbub of the crowd, desperate to find him. He looked around frantically as he was shoved around and saw the hooded figure rushing up some metal stairs to a rooftop where there was scaffolding. He glanced back at Eren with a triumphant glare before disappearing. Eren cursed loudly and some woman thwacked him round the head with her handbag for swearing in front of her child. Eren sprinted dizzily through the crowd and managed to get to the stairs. He sprinted up as quickly as he could and glanced around, trying to spot his room-mate. He ran along the creaking scaffolding, nearly falling. He stopped at the edge and looked at the rooftop opposite. He looked around and realised... that this was the only possible way to go. He swallowed nervously, he couldn't believe he was about to do this. He leapt onto the roof, skidding slightly on the tiles. He ran along it and jumped onto three more until he saw a metal walkway above street level. The black of Levi's clothes could be seen and Eren ran along. Levi seemed to be trying to pick a lock to get through a gate to get to the other side so he could carry on running. Levi could hear his pursuer and hurried up with the tricky lock. He managed to throw it open just as Eren landed behind him and Levi slammed it shut behind him. Eren watched him with wide eyes, how the hell had he picked that lock so fast? Eren had only been a minute behind him! The brunette threw it open and jumped onto another roof in pursuit, running along the copper coloured tiles, dislodging a few. He watched as Levi leapt nimbly across the roofs, swinging from window ledges onto other roofs when he needed too. Eren frantically followed, he couldn't afford to be left behind now, not just for Levi's sake, but for his own. He was being a criminal right now, this was illegal. He hoped no security cameras were around here... This seemed like the cheaper part of town, he highly doubted they would be caught on film – but it was still highly dangerous and wrong... The worst part was that Levi seemed to be... well... _good_ at this. Practiced even. Rushing after him, he wondered who Levi really was. He started to have doubts, was Levi actually a criminal?

The sky was grey and cloudy and it started to spit with rain, making the houses he ran across slippy. There was a difficult way to cross and Levi had to stop for a few long moments, trying to find a way to go, allowing Eren to catch up a bit more. Eren was making such a racket, Levi was practically silent whereas Eren had obviously never done this before. Levi pulled his hood lower, knowing he was beat. The only way out from where he was, was a balcony or a 2 storey drop, and he could see a man through the window of the balcony. He hadn't seen Levi though. Levi could go nowhere When Eren got to Levi's roof, he slipped and skidded down, falling onto the balcony below with a crash, yelping. His back ached from the small fall but he wasn't badly hurt. Levi watched in horror as the man stood up inside his apartment. Eren groaned, pushing himself to his hands and knees. Levi could see one way down from that balcony, another gate with a lock. He should- No! Why should he help Eren? He got himself into that mess, if he hasn't chased Levi this wouldn't have happened! Besides, it wasn't as if Levi had feelings for him... No, he didn't... Definitely not, that would be stupid... He started to run a few steps in the opposite direction away from Eren as the angry man grabbed a baseball bat from next to his sofa. He hated Eren after what he'd done and he hated him for coming to find him. Levi suddenly skidded to a halt and just stood there. Eren needed him, he couldn't leave him there alone, he didn't know how to pick a lock as far as Levi knew... and no matter how much he wanted to hate the bloody brat, Levi felt worried for him. He was starting to like his room-mate every now and then, even though he wouldn't admit it. He couldn't leave him there. He was going to get taken out. What had he been thinking? Of course he couldn't leave the boy to face that man alone! He pulled his hood low and turned around quickly, seeing the man throwing open the glass doors as Eren scrambled to his feet. "OI! YOU!" The man bellowed fiercely, he was ready to knock out the brunette with the baseball bat. He was a burly man with large muscles and a shaved head with a very violent looking face. He looked like he was going to murder the teen as he stumbled backwards.

"Levi! Help!" Eren cries out in panic, shielding his face with his arms and screwing up his eyes as the strong looking man lifted the bat, ready to deliver a heavy blow. He heard a crash and a cry as Levi jumped on top of the man, using him as a stepping stone to jump onto the metal balcony. The ravenette landed neatly without falling but the man was kicked to the ground.

"Eren, go to the gate!" Levi ordered and rushed over to it as the man started to get up, growling and wielding his bat.

"You bloody animals, I'm gonna fuck you both up!" He roared as Levi fumbled with the lock.

"Levi hurry!" Eren cried out and ducked as the man swung with his bat, uncoordinated slightly as he was still a little dizzy from being knocked down. Levi managed to pick the lock and tore the door open just as the man grabbed him by the arm. He cried out in pain and Eren didn't know why, he had only grabbed him. It was then he had noticed where he'd grabbed him: his wrist. Levi wrenched his arm free and narrowly missed being struck by the bat. Eren darted through the gate, grabbing Levi's hand and pulling him after him. He slammed the gate and rushed down the steps, dragging Levi with him. Yanking his hand free, Levi glared at the teen. The gate opened behind them and they both looked back to see the strong man running down after them, bat at the ready.

"Eren! Go!" Levi shoved Eren forward and they sprinted through an alley as the man followed them. They passed a group of smoking teenagers and Eren squealed nervously before turning down a dark alley with a hooded male leaning on the wall. The angry home owner whose balcony they had landed on was still after them and they had no choice but to go that way. Levi grabbed Eren's arm roughly and pulled him hard down the alley, rushing past the man in the hoodie. Eren coughed on the smell of drugs as they ran through a cloud of toxic fumes. The man that had been chasing them stopped as the drug dealer turned round to look at him. The guy was obviously a wimp even though he looked strong as he started to back away. Levi and Eren ran down a couple more alley ways, their running footsteps echoing around the small bricked paths. They finally came to a stop and caught their breath. Levi realised he was still holding Eren's arm and hastily let go. Eren bent over, his hands on his knees as he took in gulps of air. Levi got his breath back much sooner as he was a lot fitter.

"Well done Eren..." He snapped at the younger male, casting him a hard glare. It was raining harder now now but the alley was sheltered by rooftops so the only sounds to be heard were Eren's deep wheezing breaths and the dribbling of a spilling drainpipe further down. Levi was relieved that Eren was ok... He looked down the alley they were going to be going down and his heart stopped. He hated this place, so much... No, not here... But this was the only way out now.

 **(A/N:) Ok here we go! If you really want another chapter today, I may upload one ;) Thanks for reading! :D**


	17. Chapter 17: Trust?

"I...I'm so...rry Levi..." Eren gasped, his face red with exhaustion, beads of sweat on his forehead.

"Hmph." Levi grabbed his arm forcefully again and started to tow the tired teen behind him through the alley. They got out the other side and Levi let go of Eren. Pulling up his red hood, Eren looked around, wondering where they were. They were in the rough part of town made of dark alleys and broken down buildings with smashed windows and bright graffiti sprayed down the walls. He squeaked slightly, standing close to Levi. The ravenette started to walk off and he scurried after him.

"L-Levi, do you know where we are...?"

"Of course I do brat, now shut up." Levi grumbled as he led him through. He really wished he didn't... "Stop looking so scared, you look like an easy target if you're weak round here." Eren frowned at his back, wondering how he knew all this stuff. "Stick close Jaeger." Eren had no problem doing that, he had the anger and determination in him to do anything if he was motivated by something, but that didn't stop him being scared. He stuck close to Levi and screamed when someone grabbed him by the arm. Levi yanked him away and they carried on. Eren's whole body was shaking with fear and cold as they went through the damp streets. It stunk of pee, vomit and cigarettes. The smell was overwhelming and he felt sick at every breath that swirled through his nostrils.

"Oi, Ackerman!" A deep voice called and Eren carried on following Levi. His heart thumped in his chest as a tall man walked over to Levi, his clothes dirty and worn. He was about Levi's age – no, actually he looked a bit older, but only by a few years – and he knew Levi's name. "You're back! Haven't seen you in years!" He said before mumbling something incoherent to Levi. To Eren's surprise Levi mumbled something back to him. The man had dark, dishevelled brown hair, drenched in grease and he was starved looking. He stunk of cigarettes. Eren's heart felt like it was in his mouth and he shivered even more, what was going on? He looked at Levi's back in fear, was Levi part of a gang or something?

"You still owe me that money Levi, am I ever going to get it? I mean, you are at college now so I know you have money, it's not like you can't afford it anymore..."

"Yes Klein you idiot, I'll get it for you when I can..." He grumbled. "Now go away."

"No, you need a home welcome. Oi everyone, Ackerman's back!" The man yelled and a quite a few people whooped in reply, their voices echoing around the dark alleys, the stench of weed strong. Levi rolled his eyes. He could hear Eren's erratic breathing behind him, he sounded terrified. He sounded like he was having a panic attack so Levi turned around to face the shivering teen who looked like he was going to vomit at any second.

"It's ok, Eren. Come on." Levi said firmly. It was important that Eren calmed down here, or people would take advantage of his weakness. He slowed down slightly so that he was beside Eren, hoping that it would make him feel safer and hopefully intimidate people too much to touch him, but Eren looked more terrified than ever. Had Levi planned to bring him here? What were these people going to do to him? Some hands grabbed him and tears spilled from his eyes as he shrieked. Levi punched the hands away hard. The females that had grabbed Eren cackled with laughter, they reeked of stale drink.

"Oh come on Levi, have a little fun!" One of them laughed while taking a swig from a bottle, but Levi glared at them and pulled Eren after him. "Have a homecoming celebration! I'll pay ya to give me your friend for the night!"

"Phew, you turned out good Levi!" One of the girls eyed him up and down. "How about you and your friend stay with us tonight, sort of a treat for your home welcome!"

"I'll have Levi, you can have the boy!" One called and laughed. "Fit as!"

"Aw, bless, that kid's so cute! He's one of them privileged kids ain't he, never been to a place like this in his life!" One with long, dirty blonde hair called.

"So sweet, he looks scared! Come on cutie, join the fun!" Eren felt a hand slap his butt and yelped in fear, making the girls laugh again. The one that had hit him had brown hair and was wearing only a belly top and filthy short shorts. "How much would ya pay for some, sweetie? It'd be good, I promise ya..." She said huskily, her voice dripping with lust even though she was clearly drunk. They were obviously practiced at this, they were prostitutes.. drunk and high ones. Eren's face was pale and he stumbled away, his heart smashing into his ribs uncontrollably. They were about 17 and stunk of weed and alcohol. Eren had absolutely no idea where he was, how to get back, who any of these people were or whether to trust Levi anymore! What was gong to happen? He looked like he was going to pass out, he looked dizzy and terrified out of his wits. Levi dragged Eren after him, away from the females. They wolf whistled behind the two as Levi pulled him away.

"Eren listen to me, it's ok, we're nearly out of here..." He reassured him but Eren didn't trust him anymore. Tears streamed from his eyes and he looked around frantically, looking for a way to run. He started sprinting off and Levi ran after him after cursing under his breath.

"Not that way Eren!" He grabbed the teen and he struggled in his grip. "Eren, you need to calm do-"

"GET OFF ME!" Eren screamed in panic, a crowd were starting to gather to watch the show.

"For fucks sake, Klein help me!" Levi yelled at the man who was still with them. Eren felt dizzy and his vision swirled, his upper lip tingling, his breathing all wrong. He was hyperventilating. Levi caught him as he fainted and tried to shake him awake. "Eren you idiot, you can't do that here! Klein, help me get this idiot out of here! I hate this fucking place! I hate being back here, I never wanted to see it again!"

 **(A/N:) Ok, so we're getting some of Levi's past in here now, hope you are enjoying reading! I absolutely love getting your reviews and pms guys, it's an awesome feeling and really motivates me to upload a new chapter for you :) Thanks for reading!**


	18. Chapter 18: For Listening

"You'll have to pay me to help..." Klein said, his brown eyes flashing.

"Yes, fine, just help me you fucker! Carry him, I'll stop people getting to him." Klein nodded and lifted Eren up, slinging him over his shoulder. "Don't you dare hurt him or I'll kill you Klein!"

"Sheesh, so little trust as always Levi! It's fine, I won't hurt him."

"Just come on..." Levi led Klein and Eren through the crowd after Klein tossed him a knife and he held it up threateningly at anyone who so much as looked at Eren funnily.

"Wait that's Levi?"

"The Levi?"

"I thought he left this shithole!"

"He did, what's he doing back?"

"You abandoned us Ackerman to go and play with your friends at the college!" Voices in the crowd called but Levi ignored them. With Klein's help, he managed to get Eren past everyone and into a deserted alley way just off of the main street. Klein put him down gently and Levi huffed, tossing him back his knife. Klein pocketed it and held out a grubby hand, his messy brown hair drooping greasily into his expectant eyes. Levi cursed under his breath and fished into his pocket, unplugging his earphones from his phone. He tossed them at Klein.

"I don't have any oney with me so have them... Sell those..."

"How about the phone?"

"No chance..." Levi grumbled and knelt down beside his unconscious room-mate who was starting to stir. Klein smirked.

"Thanks Levi."

"Get lost." Levi replied. Klein laughed at that.

"You haven't changed, have you? How are Is and Farlan?" He asked and Levi said nothing.

"Well, I'll see you another time with the money then Levi..." Klein said when he realised he wasn't going to get an answer out of him. "I'll leave you and your bum-chum alone." He turned to go, waving behind him.

"He is not my bu- ugh..." Levi couldn't be bothered to respond to that. After a couple of minutes, Eren started to open his eyes, a grimace on his face.

"What happened...?" He asked drowsily, squinting, trying to make out his surroundings. The scent of piss and smoke wafted up his nostrils and he gasped as it all came back to him. His eyes opened wide and he looked up at Levi beside him. He scrambled backwards and Levi held his hands up in surrender to show he wasn't holding anything or going to hurt him.

"S-stay back!" Eren stammered, his eyes wide as he backed into the wall.

"Eren, it's me. I'm not going to bloody hurt you..."  
"H-how do I know that? Y-you took me to this horrible p-place and... a-and... why was I asleep?! Did y-you do something to m-me?" His chest still felt tight and his breathing was still uneven.

"No I didn't, you fainted because you were scared! You're out of there now, don't worry. Besides, it was your bloody fault for falling on that guy's balcony! If you hadn't had done that, we wouldn't have had to go through there!" Levi snapped, glaring at Eren. Eren hugged his knees and hid his face in them, his shoulders shaking. He cried into his knees and Levi sighed. Eren was shivering violently from his panic attack and his chest ached. He was freezing cold and still felt a bit sick. Levi sighed and rolled his grey-blue eyes, pulling off his hoodie. He hesitated when remembering his wrists were exposed, but after all of that, he didn't think that was the top priority right there and then. He pulled off his hoodie and put it around Eren's shoulders. He shivered slightly but he wasn't as cold as Eren was. Eren flinched at his touch but didn't look up. "Eren, I promise you! I'm not going to hurt you!"

"H-how did those p-people know y-you?" Eren's crying voice whined into his knees. Levi let out a sigh and scratched his head.

"I used to live down here with them..." He felt that he owed Eren an explanation. After all that, he couldn't really not tell him.

"Y-you lived h-here?" Eren's muffled voice whispered and he glanced over his knees in shock at the smaller male, his green eyes shining with tears.

"Yeah... I was orphaned when I was a kid and lived down here with my uncle who took me in. My mother had died and my useless father left...We lived in the slums and my uncle taught me how to fight, how to be strong... Then he left because he couldn't be bothered with me anymore and I was left alone here at the age of 10. I met Klein who is that man you saw and he was 13 at the time. We stayed together for a while but then I met another person called Farlan. I stuck with him and we grew up together and at 14 we were running all over the rooftops and stealing things to try and earn money to actually live like humans. We met a girl called Isabel and we all worked together. We were the main 'thugs' down here... I hate saying that now. We managed to get enough money to get a job but we damaged the place where we worked and we had to pay them for the damage. We couldn't afford it so Klein lent us money... That all happened when we were 16. We paid it back but we were found by social services and put into care. They paid our college fees and everything and we lived there. When we were 17 I was adopted and we went to the college you and I are at now and... and one day they were involved in a car crash... It was my fault..." Levi whispered, absent-mindedly rubbing his old scars on his left arm. Eren watched him in shock and glanced down at his right wrist which had several more fresh cuts on it, some of them were a bit open and looked very sore. There was dark, dried blood in a stream down his arm. That must have happened when the man haf grabbed him on the balcony... Levi felt something wet on his cheek and reached up in shock. He could feel a tear on it and he brushed it away hurriedly. He hadn't cried since the day they had died... Eren watched him in silence, he didn't know what to say. "I hate this place..." Levi continued in a whisper. "It's the same as I remember, I hate it... I still need to pay Klein back but I had hoped I never needed to come back down here to do things like this again, acting like a 'thug' again..." Eren felt hot dears dribble down his cheeks as Levi hid behind his ebony hair. He always acted so tough... He'd taught himself not to care anymore, that crying was for the weak, that he shouldn't show emotion to anyone. Eren had had no idea about any of the things Levi had said... that picture he'd looked at must have been of Isabel and Farlan. How was Levi so clever when he'd only been having an education since he was 16? He must be an even MORE of a hard worker than Eren had originally thought. He obviously wanted a normal life, he wanted to forget his past and we like everyone else, able to get a job. That must be why he spent about 90% of his time working.

"I-Is that why you don't like having friends...?" Eren asked quietly. "Because you're scared that something will happen to them...?"

"I have seen so many people die down here Eren, so many. I watched friends die, I fucked up and Isabel and Farlan died, my mother the was a bloody prostitute down here and died of a fucking illness and my father left because he knew I wasn't worth the effort. My uncle left too, I'm not worth anything Eren. I don't deserve friends... and I can't bear to lose anyone else." Levi muttered, getting to his feet. "Come on Eren, we need to get back... I don't want to stay here any longer..." The way Levi was talking was breaking Eren's heart, he sounded so defeated, like he didn't belong anywhere. He had no self esteem at all, did he? Levi stood with his head hung until he felt something warm being placed on his shoulders. Eren pulled Levi's hoodie back around him and Levi looked up at him. "I gave this to you, you idiot..."  
"And I gave it to you."

"But you need it you brat, you fainted!"

"I'll be fine... Come on, let's get you out of here." Eren said gently, wiping the last of his tears from his shining green eyes. Levi sighed and pulled his hoodie back on, carefully pulling the sleeve down over his cuts. "Levi, what if those get infected?" Eren asked worriedly. Levi simply shrugged.

"It doesn't really matter, does it... I'll wash them when I get back anyway, I don't want one speck of dirt from this place anywhere. I hate it." Ah. So that's why everything had to be so neat and tidy... Everything was clicking into place now. "And that includes you, you need to wash too." Levi growled and Eren nodded.

"Yes Levi, I know..." Eren said quietly and followed Levi down the alley in silence, doing his hoodie back up. Both males smelt off cigarettes and piss and were covered in grime. After a a few moments, they were out onto the main street where the Autumn rain was pouring down. Levi sighed in relief as he took in the scent of petrol and the rain. He was out of that place...

The pair were drenched as they reached their college again. Levi had been very glad of the rain since it hid the tears that streamed from his eyes. He had never EVER spoken about those things to anyone, not even the care home or his adopted parents. Everything was coming back to him and being back... _there..._ and talking about Isabel and Farlan just set him off. He hadn't spoken a word about them since they died. Not one word. He had run out of tears by the time they got back to the college and both boys were soaked through. They trudged through the entrance, getting some very strange looks. They dripped their way up to their room and Levi pulled his hood of, his hair soaked through as well. Eren unlocked the door numbly and they went inside. Levi pulled his soaked phone from his pocket and tossed it on his bed. It was probably not working now.

"I-Is your phone damaged? How about your earphones?" Eren asked worriedly, pulling off his heavy, soaked hoodie. He opened the stiff window and rung it out, the window sheltering it from getting and more wet.

"The phone is probably broken but I don't really care, and I gave Klein my earphones in exchange for him helping me to get you out while you were unconscious." Eren swallowed a lump that suddenly formed in his throat.

"Y...You did that for me?"

"Well obviously." Levi grumbled and rung his own hoodie out, squeezing as much of the water in it as he could out. Eren kept looking at the cuts on his wrist, wondering what had made him so upset to begin with today.

"Levi... Why were you so upset earlier...?" Eren asked quietly, watching Levi as he took Eren's hoodie out of his hands and hung it on the small radiator for him.

"These need to be washed but they need to dry a bit first..." The ravenette muttered to Eren and Eren sighed as he avoided the question. He obviously didn't want to talk about it. It was fine, he'd already shared his life story that he hadn't wanted to share today, he obviously didn't feel comfortable talking about what had happened earlier. Levi gathered up his clothes to go and wash.

"Come on Eren, you need to go for a shower too..." Eren nodded in response and got out his clothes and Levi opened the door to leave. Eren glanced at the screwed up hoodie he was holding, obviously unsure of where to put it to dry as he didn't want to make a mess.

"Levi, hang on." Eren pulled his hoodie off the radiator and took Levi's out of his hand.

"Eren, what are y-"

"I can borrow Armin's radiator, I'm sure he won't mind." Eren explained as he put Levi's sodden hoodie, heavy with rain water, on the hot radiator.

"Are you sure?" Levi mumbled, looking at Eren uncertainly.

"Yep. I'm sure. Oh... and Levi?" He glanced over at the male from behind his dripping brown locks. "I'm sorry for dragging you back there... and thank you..."

"For what?"

"For saving me from that guy, going back to that horrible place because of me, protecting me, keeping your cool in there, giving Klein you earphones, lending me your hoodie, trusting me enough to tell me-"

"Ok Eren, I get it brat..." Levi grumbled, stepping out of the door. "And thank you."

"For what...?"

"For listening."

 **(A/N:) Hey! So that was a long chapter and now you know Levi's life story! Looooads more to come, you'll have to wait till tomorrow for more unless I decide I want to upload another tonight... ;) Thanks for reading! Glad you seem to be enjoying it! :D**


	19. Chapter 19: Accidental Confessions

Eren looked at Levi differently from there on. He didn't question his actions, he tried not to get angry when the male ignored him, he tried to give him space when he thought he needed it and keep him company when he thought he'd like it... Even if he'd never say it outloud to Eren.. Whenever anyone said anything bad about him, they would have a fight on their hands, whether verbal or physical – Eren would take none of it, Levi didn't deserve it. He was in love with the boy that he'd (rather creepily) watched in the library for 6 months. He was gay, he had known it since he was about 10. He had always tried to fight against it but at 12, he gave in. There was no point fighting something that he couldn't change. Eren was always daydreaming in class, wondering about Levi, still confused about him... He was so mysterious, and he felt so sorry for him because of his past. He felt horrible for thinking this, but... He felt slightly... _happy_... that Levi had said he'd lived in a care home and was adopted. They had something in common, they understood one another... Well, at least they would if he told Levi, most people knew that Eren's mum had been killed and his father left (much like Levi) but he didn't think that Levi actually knew... Maybe he should tell him. After all, Levi had told him his life story when he didn't really wish to, surely it would be wrong not to. He loved Levi, he loved him despite his past, in fact, he loved him even more because he knew about him more and knew more about why he was the way he was. He had a crush on that adorably moody midget...

Levi continued his argument with himself, trying to forget his feelings for Eren, but he just couldn't do it. Several more cuts were gouged into his wrist in a desperate attempt to let out feelings with the blood and forget, but he just couldn't. He was in love with the boy that had (rather creepily) watched him in the library for 6 months. He was bisexual, he couldn't fight against it anymore. He was and there was nothing he could do to change the way he was. If he wasn't such a quiet person always keeping himself to himself, he would have asked someone whether being bi was wrong... But Levi never spoke to anyone except Eren really. He lay on his bed, staring up at the ceiling in silence, lost in thought, blood trickling down his arm onto the sheets, dirtying them, but for once he didn't care. He had a crush on that bloody brat...

They started avoiding one another. Levi started to avoid Eren more, he felt uncomfortable with what he'd admitted to himself and felt embarrassed every time he spoke to the brunette. Eren started thinking maybe he'd done something wrong, or may Levi just wanted time alone... So he started trying to stay away from him more. When they were in their room, Levi barely ever spoke, (not that he had spoken much before), and Eren got quieter and quieter. Levi would catch him looking at him sadly and Eren would blush and look away. Levi hated the way he looked so cute when he blushed. He wanted to tell Eren, but he was terrified that Eren would judge him and hate him. Eren wanted to tell Levi that he was adopted too, but he was too scared that Levi would think he was lying or something.

One morning, Eren heard the alarm go as usual and Levi turned it off. Eren groaned and hid under his duvet, he felt even more tired than usual for some reason.

"Sorry Eren, I set that on my phone and I put it under my pillow, I hoped it wouldn't wake you but I must have moved my pillow slightly in the night..." Levi grumbled quietly, his voice sounded sleepy. Eren frowned under his duvet and poked his nose and eyes out cutely, his hair all fluffy and messy. He squinted through the darkness at the red digits on the clock. It was 5am. So that was why it felt earlier than normal...

"You... slept?" Eren asked quietly in disbelief, his drowsy voice thick with sleep.

"Mmhmm..." Levi turned his phone on and sat up with a sigh. Eren screwed his eyes up at the light. He could see Levi's silhouette in the dark, the light from his phone shining softly on him, showing his chest muscles through his black t-shirt. Unfortunately, Eren could also see the illuminated cuts on his wrists, they seemed to have multiplied.

"When did you go to bed?" He asked softly, admiring Levi in the light. He blinked, looking at the male's messy black hair; he was a hot mess. He looked tired, but then again he always did... But he also looked adorably sleepy because he'd just woken up.

"1am..." He grumbled, rubbing his eyes. Eren looked appalled.

"Levi, you never sleep... You only got 4 hours sleep and you only sleep for a couple of hours every other night... You'll make yourself ill!"

"I'm fine Eren, I lived in an alley for most of my life, if I can cope with that, I think I can cope with being tired..." He murmured and Eren fell silent. That was the first time Levi had mentioned their conversation since the day they'd gone down there. It had been 2 weeks and 3 days ago... Eren had subconsciously been keeping count. Levi got out of his bed and used the light from his phone to find his clothes so that he could go to get showered. Eren watched him in the semi-darkness and Levi felt his eyes on him. He looked over his shoulder at the teen. "What?" He grumbled in annoyance, he hated when Eren stared at him with those adorable green eyes, he hated the fact he found him cute and attractive.

"I was just wondering... What are your parents like?" Levi looked taken aback, that was a random question. He must mean the couple that adopted him. He shifted uncomfortably and turned back to what he was doing.

"That's a pretty random thing to ask Eren..." He murmured. "They're alright... I guess. Why...?"

"I was just wondering... because my adopted parents aren't very nice..." Eren mumbled and hid back under his duvet. He hoped that in Levi's tired state, he would still realise the word 'adopted' in that sentence. He had wanted to tell him for ages, but hadn't found a chance when Levi was actually being remotely talkative recently. Levi froze. He turned around slowly and frowned at the lump of blankets that was Eren.

"Adopted...?"

"Mmhmm..." Eren's muffled voice hummed sleepily. "I didn't know if you knew or not, I felt you should know and everyone else does..." Levi tossed his clothes onto his bed, not caring that he crumpled them.

"I-I didn't know..." He mumbled. There was silence for about a minute and Eren felt his bed sink slightly and he peeked around his warm nest of duvet. Levi had sat gingerly on the edge of the bed next to him. "...Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Levi asked and Eren shrugged.

"Like I said, I didn't know if you knew or not but also you have seemed to far away this past week, you just suddenly stopped talking to me all together... I figured that you wanted to be alone so didn't want to disturb you." Levi looked away sheepishly, his cheeks flushing as he remembered why he'd done that. "You don't hate me do you...?"

"No, of course I don't you brat..." Levi half snapped. "Don't be stupid... Why the hell would I hate you?" He turned to look back at him.

"I thought you'd think I was annoying and needy."

"But... I'm adopted too, why would me finding out that your are adopted make you needy and annoying? Well, you already are needy and annoying, but you being adopted changes nothing." Eren couldn't help the smile that twitched his lips, but it was hidden by the duvet. "Why aren't yours very nice?"

"Well..." Eren let out a deep, tired sigh, shifting slightly in his bed, accidentally nudging Levi's butt with his knee under the covers. Levi moved away slightly in embarrassment. Eren blushed. "Th-they are really strict and they used to hit me, that's why I wanted to come to a college like this where I can board and don't have to go home to them... They aren't very well off, that's why I don't have many things, but I don't mind that obviously, I just wished they weren't so mean... I don't think they like me at all, they adopted me when I was 10, my mum was killed and my dad left, they adopted me about 7 months after I went to the care home. I think they liked me back then because I was young but now they just hate me... Why are yours only 'alright'?" Eren asked quietly and Levi shrugged his shoulders.

"They don't seem to like me either, after Farlan and Isabel died I closed off more then usual and I think they hated that I was like that. They don't like the way I dress or my cleanliness, they don't like how moody or quiet I am. They're not bad people, I think they just would've preferred a son like you. I was with them for 8 months before my friends were killed..." Levi said nearly inaudibly and flicked some fluff off of his leg, his messy hair falling in his eyes.

"A son like me...? What do you mean?" He frowned slightly, searching Levi with his emerald coloured eyes. Levi shifted slightly and folded his arms, looking at the floor.

"You know... Happy, funny, kind, determined, someone with spirit... Not moody, doesn't only wear black, acts like a normal teenager... Doesn't slit their wrists, actually has friends and talks to people... You know, the son everyone wants..." He mumbled and got up. Eren swallowed, watching him.

"B-but... But you're funny sometimes, you just don't talk much, you're kind, you're determined... It shouldn't matter that you wear black, it suits you and it's your choice, being normal is boring and you shouldn't be expected to act like everyone else after what you've been through. It doesn't matter that you cut either, well at least it shouldn't... It doesn't matter to me, so it shouldn't to them. You have friends, you just don't call them that and you have your reasons." Eren said quietly into his soft duvet, watching as Levi gathered his clothes to leave.

"Oh please Eren, who could ever love someone like me..." He grumbled in annoyance, opening their door as quietly as he could so as not to disturb anyone.

"Me... I love you and I am not bothered by the way you are..." Eren blurted out before he actually thought about what he said. All the blood went to his face, making him go crimson and hot. Levi flushed red and swallowed, hurrying out before more could be said. Eren groaned as the door shut. He'd managed to scare Levi away again and had just accidentally confessed his love to him... If Levi had been telling the truth and hadn't hated him before, he definitely would now.

 **(A/N:) Hey! Sorry I didn't upload yesterday, I was busy but here's another chapter for you! Hope you enjoyed, thanks for reading!**


	20. Chapter 20: Adopted Sister

When Levi came back to his and Eren's room, he didn't look at the younger boy. He just went straight to his bed and sat on it, pulling out his phone. It had been damaged by the water and had not turned on for a couple of days but had miraculously turned on a few days after the incident after it had had a chance to dry out properly. It was just slower and had a few water bubbles under the screen. The sound also sounded a bit dodgy but Levi didn't really care, he was grateful for what he had. Eren was still in bed but had been too embarrassed to go back to sleep. Levi got back at 5.30 and Eren was still awake and blushing brightly. He watched the dark haired male sitting on his bed from under the covers, trying not to be seen. Levi was covering his arms with his hoodie again. Eren wondered how many cuts were there now, and what made him do the recent ones... Was it remembering about his friends? No, he had done more before he'd told Eren about that because when that stupid man had grabbed his arm, he'd bled and cried out... Eren sighed quietly in his nest of duvet. Levi could feel Eren's eyes on him and shifted uncomfortably. He didn't speak to Eren until 7am. Eren hadn't slept, he had just watched his crush on his phone and working. He wondered why Levi had got up so early, he hadn't done much. Eren heaved himself out of bed, his eyes tired. Shivering in the cool air of the bedroom, Eren reached for his clothes before heading out to get showered. Just before he left, he cast a glance at Levi round the door but the ravenette ignored him. Eren hung his head in defeat and closed the door. When the door closed, Levi let out a quiet groan and flopped backwards on his bed (he had been sitting on the edge on his phone for a short while) and put his face in his hands. That was so awkward... Why had Eren said that, now Levi was thinking about him even _more_ and they were both too embarrassed to talk to one another. A couple more slices of a blade met Levi's wrist that morning.

While in one of Eren's lectures that day, a piece of screwed up paper landed on his textbook and he looked up behind him at the row above him to where Armin was. The blonde pointed at the paper and Eren turned back round and took it off his book, holding it in his lap. He opened it up and read Armin's neat handwriting.

 _Have you got Mikasa a present yet?_

Eren's heart stopped. Mikasa was joining the college today, wasn't she? Mikasa was his sister (well, he was adopted into her family) and she was the same age as him. She had been doing a course elsewhere so was starting late. Fuck. He'd forgotten. Eren quickly scrawled Armin a reply and tossed it over his shoulder. If he had done it a split second later, the lecturer would have seen. He huffed. That was close. Armin waited until their maths lecturer turned around again before quietly undoing the ball of paper. Eren's messy handwriting read:

 _I forgot that it was today, what time is she getting here?_

The two kept passing notes back an forth whenever they got the chance. It turned out that Mikasa was turning up in about an hour and Eren had not got her anything to greet her. Connie, Armin and Sasha all had, but Eren, Mikasa's brother... Had not. Shit. He would have to rush to town after this lecture and grab her something fast. As soon as the bell rang, Eren was out of his seat in a flash and out of the room. He ran up to his bedroom and opened the door, he knew that Levi was still in there as he hadn't had a lecture yet. Eren was still puzzled at why Levi had got up so early, he didn't even go to the canteen all that often, he would go out into the town if he wanted food so there would be less people, the only reason Eren saw for him getting up early when he didn't have a lecture was for him to go to the gym – But there was no time to think about that now. He caught Levi by surprise and he looked up from his wrist when Eren entered, hurriedly, pulling his sleeve down and hissed as his fresh, bleeding cuts stung. Eren was too flustered to notice and chucked his bag on his bed, hurriedly grabbing his suitcase from under it, searching every pocket for money. "Dammit!" He growled in anger and ran a hand through his already messy hair, pushing the suitcase back where it had come from.

"What?" Levi mumbled his question, not looking at the boy.  
"My sister is joining the college today and I haven't got anything!"

"Sister? I didn't know you had a sister..."

"She's the same age as me, she's not my real sister, I was adopted by her parents." Eren rushed to his drawers and checked through them all for any spare change. His parents would always send him an amount of money a month to pay for food and all of that but it seemed that he'd run out of his allowance for that month.

"What are you looking for?"

"Some money, change or anything, I need to buy her something! She's arriving in about... Now." Eren said hurriedly as he glanced at the clock. "She'll be here in about 10 minutes, I haven't got time for this!"

"Here..." Levi sighed, reaching into his pocket. His parents always did the same, but Levi only rarely bought food or anything and they knew this so he received a lot less than Eren every month... And Eren barely got any. He pulled out a fiver and held it out between two fingers, still not looking at him.

"A-are you sure?"

"Yeah, I don't need it." Levi grumbled. "...Take it then!" He prompted as Eren stood there not doing anything.

"Thanks Levi!" He reached out and took the money. "I'll pay you back, I promise! I'll see you later!" Eren waved as he rushed out of the door and then skidded to a halt. He could see a small drop of blood on the money. He poked his head back round the door with a frown. "Levi...? What are you doing...?" He asked quietly, watching him closely.

"Nothing, go on Eren, or you'll be too late to get her anything..." Levi said, pulling a folder of work from his bag.

"Are you sure you're doing nothing? Because there's blood on this..." Eren gestured to the £5 note.

"Yeah, that's old, don't worry..." Eren wasn't stupid, it was still red which meant it was fresh... But he knew better than to confront Levi about his cutting, he knew he didn't like to talk about it. He didn't want to upset him and it was technically none of his business.

"Ok..." He whispered and looked at Levi sadly before turning to go. Levi wasn't stupid either, he knew Eren knew. "See you later, I'll pay you back..." And with that, Eren closed the door. He sighed, leaning on the door for a couple of moments. He wished that Levi would stop hurting himself... He would make him happy, he would. Just wait and see. He would stop him cutting if it was the last thing he did.

Eren hurried off down the stairs and rushed into the town. Mikasa was meant to arrive in roughly 4 minutes and she was rarely late. He dived into the nearest charity shop because he only had a fiver and he hurriedly looked around it. He didn't know quite what girls liked, he didn't know what to get. In the end he scowled and grabbed a necklace he thought she'd probably like and hurried to the counter.

"For your lady friend is it?" The old woman at the counter said softly with a wrinkled smile.

"Sister..." Eren had sighed and she nodded.

"I'm sure she'll love it. Bye bye now!"

"Bye..." Eren rushed out of the shop, the tinkle of the bell on the door ringing in his ears as he left. £4.99. He needed to pay Levi back as soon as he could, he felt really bad. Levi had bought him food before, he'd given his earphones away for him, had his phone ruined and now he'd paid for Mikasa's present. He owed him. Big time. He rushed back into college. He was 10 minutes late. He rushed out to the willow where Armin had said they'd meet Mikasa because she hadn't got a room key yet and he vaulted over a bench and a wall on his way. He spotted his 3 friends and Mikasa sitting on the grass, a suitcase beside his dark haired sister.

"Mikasa!" He called out as he sprinted towards them, his face red with exhaustion. She turned around when she heard his voice and her eyes lit up. She had really missed her angry and annoying brother.

"Eren!" She got to her feet as Eren skidded to a halt in front of the four. She threw her arms around Eren's neck in greeting and Eren hugged her back, trying to get his breath back but she was squeezing him, making it nearly impossible. He gasped for air when she released him and he pulled the necklace from his pocket and thrust it in her face, too tired to speak. Mikasa blinked as he shoved something in her face and she took a step back to see what he was holding.

"Is that for me?" She asked in shock and Eren nodded, wheezing.

"Take... it." He urged, shaking his hand impatiently. She obediently took it and Eren doubled over, his hands on his knees as he took in gulps of air.

"Wow, thanks... You didn't have to get me anything, Eren! None of you did, but for some reason you all did... And... how far did you run Eren...?"

"From... town..." Eren pointed a thumb behind him over his shoulder. "Sorry... I was... late."

"It's fine! Thank you so much Eren!" She hugged him more gently this time and ruffled his hair. He had been at this college for about 7 weeks now and she'd missed him. "I swear you've got taller and your hair's longer." She smiled and ruffled it affectionately. "I've really missed you!"

"You too..." Eren sighed.

 **(A/N:) Hey! Sorry I haven't uploaded in a while, I've been tired and busy blah blah... But hopefully I'll be able to upload more frequently. Wow 12 followers on this story already and it's only been up a short while, thanks guys! Hope you are enjoying it, Mikasa has been added to the mix now... ;) Feel free to leave a review, I love reading them they are amazing! Thanks again, bye!**


	21. Chapter 21: Choices

Eren spent the day with Armin, Connie, Sasha and Mikasa. They all had to disappear at different times to go to classes and in the evening, Eren was left alone with Mikasa when the others had a lecture. Eren went with her to fetch her room key, she was going to be room sharing with a girl named Annie. Eren had seen the blonde girl around occasionally and she had seemed very moody and solitary, sort of like Levi, but unlike him she seemed to be only out for herself and was quite mean. Although, Levi could be mean too... They were different though and Eren wasn't sure if he really liked Annie. Her room was number 42 so she was a few corridors away from Eren. They headed up the wooden stairs and through the corridors. Eren led the way and showed her to her room. Mikasa knocked and there was a grumble of reply. So Annie was in there. Mikasa pushed open the door and poked her head round.

"Hello?" There was no reply, she just saw a very moody looking blonde girl sitting on her bed on her laptop. There was a punching bag tied to the back of the door and Mikasa raised en eyebrow. "Hi, I'm Mikasa Jaeger, you must be Annie?"

"Hi..." Annie mumbled, glancing up at the girl but then looked back down at her screen. Mikasa looked back at Eren who shrugged. Mikasa took a step into the room and put her bags down on her bed. Her suitcase hadn't been brought up like everyone else's had at the start of the year because she was the only person joining today.

"I'll er... Leave you guys to it." Eren said and Mikasa glared slightly at him. Eren smirked and shrugged. "We both have moody room-mates, only difference is, mine's hot." Eren mouthed. Mikasa rolled her eyes and he smirked again before he closed the door, leaving Annie and Mikasa alone.

Eren headed back to his and Levi's room and knocked before walking inside. "Hiya Levi, thank you so much for the money earlier, I'll pay you back." Eren said as he closed the door.

"It's fine, you don't need to..." Levi grumbled. He was just lying on his bed, facing the ceiling with his knees up.

"Are you ok? What have you been doing today? You only had one lecture." Eren asked, sitting opposite Levi on his own bed.

"Nothing, just stayed in here..." That was no surprise to Eren and he sighed, twisting his lips to the side.

"Were you not lonely?"

"No... I'm never lonely." Levi murmured.

"We both know that's not true Levi..." Eren said as he edged backwards on his bed and sat leaning on the wall, hugging his knees. "Have you got any lectures or classes tomorrow?"

"No, why do you care..." Levi muttered, still not looking away from the ceiling.

"Great! Because I don't either." Eren watched Levi closely. "My sister Mikasa, Armin, Connie, Sasha and I are all going to town tomorrow because we are all in the same classes mostly and have none and Mikasa starts hers on Monday. Tomorrow is Thursday so would you like to come with us? Armin has to leave a bit early 'cause he has a class but otherwise we'll all be there." Eren already knew the answer, but wanted to keep trying. He wanted Levi to feel he had people that actually cared about him.

"No..." Levi grumbled and put his knees down, rolling over so that his back was to Eren. He glared at the wall. Eren stared at Levi's skinny but fine arse.

"But it would be fun! You could meet my friends and you might get along with them. You could meet Mikasa!"

"I don't do friends Eren, you know that you brat..." He grumbled moodily, glaring at his pillow that had a couple of blood smudges on it which irritated him. Yuck. Dirty.

"Won't you do it for me...?" Eren asked cutely and sadly, pressing his nose into his knees, trying to look pleading and cute in case Levi turned around.

"...No." Levi said firmly but he noted how adorable Eren's voice sounded. Eren sniffed and Levi frowned. He heard Eren sniffing and glanced over his shoulder to see him hiding his face in his knees. "Are you crying?" There was no reply but Eren kept sniffling even though there was nothing to sniff and his eyes were bone dry. He hoped Levi would believe him. "Eren, I'm sorry but I don't want to, you're such a sop, God..." He rolled back over and glowered hard at the wall. He didn't know whether Eren was actually crying or not but either way, it made him feel guilty.

"I just want you to be happy..." The brunette mumbled sadly, and the sadness in his voice was real even if the crying was not. "I really like you Levi..." He blushed into his knees. Levi's face went hot and he screwed his eyes up, not turning over or making a noise. He was doing it again, making him feel guilty, he still hated the way Eren made him feel... But Eren seemed so open about it. He hoped that Eren wasn't just making fun of him, but after everything they'd been through he highly doubted that that would be the case, he wouldn't make fun of him, he was nice. "Levi please will you? How about we go to town together, just you and me if you don't want them there, I am meeting them at 11, we can go out earlier if you want and you can come back here, you don't have to be with them..." Eren offered quietly, crossing his fingers. He screwed up his eyes, his heart thumping as he waited for a reply. Levi's own heart was pounding loudly and he didn't know what to say or do. Eren was obviously really desperate for him to get out of this place tomorrow... But being with him would be so awkward, and Levi was terrified that he would get closer to him and care about him... He didn't want a photo of Eren to be in that drawer with his other picture so that he could cry about being to blame about getting another friend killed... "Sorry Eren, it's a no..." He whispered and Eren let out a sigh, opening his eyes. Glancing over his knees at Levi, he wondered whether this was the friend business again with Isabel and Farlan.

"Levi, nothing will happen to me. I promise..."

"You don't know that Eren!" Levi said, a slight whine in his voice.

"I won't let anything happen to me, I'll be really careful, I swear!" Eren promised, chewing his lip.

"That doesn't mean something won't happen..."

"Levi, you can't live your life thinking that something will happen to someone as soon as you call them a friend or go somewhere with them, I have been friends with Armin for 4 years and nothing has happened to either of us. I've been friends with Connie and Sasha for 3 years and nothing has happened... and I've been Mikasa's brother for 6 years and nothing bad has happened. It will be fine."

"Something bad could still happen today, or tomorrow, next week, a few years. It will still happen." Levi's voice was quiet and forlorn.

"Well... To get anywhere in life you need to take that chance, you should know better than anyone that you have to be reckless sometimes and you have to take chances."

"Eren, I've always known that when faced with a choice you don't know which one will be right and which will be wrong, you just have to do it and if afterwards you regret it, then that's it, you can't change it... I made the wrong choice back then. I chose to continue to argue with Farlan the day he and Isabel died, I could have given in and walked away but I didn't and he drove off angrily with her. If I hadn't done that, he wouldn't have driven s recklessly and they would both still be alive... It's my fault and I don't want to make the wrong choice again. I just don't want to risk it." Eren got up and sat down on the edge of Levi's bed, looking down at his back.

"Levi, that wasn't your fault, you didn't know what would happen, you couldn't have possibly known... And... You don't know what will or won't happen now. Say you did come with me, I could be fine and you could be fine... But if you say no, I could choose to walk a different way and get hit by a car or someth-" Levi stiffened at that.

"Eren, stop!" He cried out. His heart was pounding in fear. How could he say no now? If he said no, that could happen, but if he said yes, something else could happen. Eren felt a lump in his throat and he immediately regretted what he said after he realised how badly that could affect Levi not just now, but forever. He would be paranoid about every tiny decision now, even whether to leave a minute or even a second early or late for something.

"L-Levi, I just meant you... that... I didn't mean it like that, you can't worry about every choice you make in your life or you literally will get _nowhere!_ I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you!" He stammered, not knowing what to do. He put a shaking hand on Levi's shoulder but it was immediately slapped off.

"Eren, go away! Now!" He yelled and Eren felt tears prickle his eyes. This time, it was real ones. Oh well done Eren, you've really fucked up now. Why did you fucking say that? You idiot! He obediently got up and left the room without another word, leaving Levi alone. He slid down the other side of the door onto the floor and put his face in his hands. What had he done? This could go one of 2 ways... Levi could think about everything and realise what Eren actually meant and give chance a try, or... He could be too terrified to move or do anything ever again, too scared to make any sort of choice again, not even a tiny one like getting up at a certain time or saying a word to anyone. He could have literally ruined Levi's life forever...

 **(A/N:) Thanks for reading! I may upload another chapter tonight, I might not... I might leave you in suspense 'cause I'm mean like that ;). Has he ruined Levi's life or will it all be ok...? Hope you are enjoying, find out what happens in the next chapter!**


	22. Chapter 22: 1 plus 1 equals 2

Eren went back into his and Levi's room that evening and peeked around the door nervously. His room-mate was still lying on his bed with his back to Eren's bed. He sighed sadly. What had he done... He quietly went into the room and just sat. He sat and watched Levi as he lay in silence.

"Are you alright Levi?" He whispered after about half an hour of just sitting. There was no reply and Eren hung his head. He's messed up... big time. He went to bed in silence at about 11pm after casting Levi one more apologetic and upset glance. Poor Levi... What the hell had he done?

In the morning Eren woke up and the alarm went off. It wasn't turned off by Levi as usual so he opened one sleepy eye and fumbled about to hit the snooze button. He had set it for 8am instead of 7am because he didn't need to wake up early and he didn't want to have food in the canteen, he wasn't hungry. Mikasa had given him some of her money because he'd run out of his so he would buy a drink in town or something. Looking over at Levi's bed, he realised that he wasn't there. Eren dragged himself into a sitting position and rubbed his eyes sleepily, frowning worriedly. Where was he? Eren went to quickly get washed and put on clean clothes before rushing back to his room. Levi was there now, and Eren sighed in relief. He had been terrified he'd gone somewhere and got hurt because Eren had upset him so much. He was wearing his trainers and his hoodie and was sitting on his bed, leaning on the wall, his phone in his hand and his earphones in his ears (he had a spare pair that crackled and didn't work well if the wire moved but yet again, Levi didn't really care). He must have gone out somewhere. He didn't look up when Eren entered.

"There you are Levi, you worried me... Are you ok?"

"What time are we leaving?" Levi mumbled without looking up and Eren's heart stopped. He looked at the ravenette in shock. He stood in stunned silence for a few moments before speaking.

"W-what? What did you say?" He stammered breathlessly, wanting to make sure he hadn't misheard. Levi huffed before repeating himself.

"I said... What time are we leaving?" He murmured and Eren blinked. He pinched his arm, was he dreaming? He didn't seem to wake up, the pinch stung, was this real?

"Y...You want to come with me?"

"Mmhmm." Levi hummed his answer quietly. Eren didn't know what to do or say. So he hadn't gone somewhere, he'd got ready to go outside... with Eren.

"W-we can go now if you want..." Eren offered, his voice quiet with disbelief.  
"Fine..." Levi got off of his bed, not moving his eyes from his phone.

"Um, o-ok!" Eren grabbed his hoodie and shrugged it on, still looking at his room-mate in shock. They stood there, not moving. Levi glanced up from his phone.

"Well go on then!"

"R-right! Y-yeah!" Eren grabbed his keys off the chest of drawers and stuffed them in his pocket. He went out of the room and Levi followed, locking the door behind them. "Why did you change your mind?" Eren finally asked as they walked down the corridor. Levi had his hands in his pockets and he simply shrugged.

"Well after what you said, I figured you'd be safer if I was there seeing as you're a reckless brat on your own... And I kind of wanted to come with you, you're nice..." He admitted quietly, watching his feet. Eren swallowed and had to restrain from pulling the smaller male into his chest for a hug.

"R-really?"

"Don't make me repeat myself Jaeger or I'll probably throw up at how sickening it is..." Levi grumbled and Eren couldn't help the smile that lifted his lips. He was so fucking relieved... Levi was ok from what he could see and he had taken what Eren said the right way.

"Ok." He laughed. "Come on, let's go, we have 2 hours and a half before I have to meet the others!"

They headed out of the college and into the town. Levi pulled one earphone from his ear as they entered the street. "Right, where are we going?" He sighed, scuffing his black shoe on the pavement.

"Are you hungry? Do you want a drink?" Eren asked, looking down at Levi's short, skinny figure. He shrugged in reply and Eren knew he rarely ate and he really should. "Right then." He reached out and pulled Levi's hand from his pocket, towing him behind him. Levi looked at their hands in shock and looked at Eren's back in shock. He bit his lip. They were both blushing brightly at the act. Levi felt horribly embarrassed and tried to wriggle free but Eren kept a firm grip. He snatched it away after a while and shoved it abck in his pocket but Eren was relentless and took it again. Levi hated it but loved it. He hated THAT he loved it as well. He was so disgusting to like it, what the hell was wrong with him... He let go when they reached a coffee shop and Levi hastily took his hand back, tucking it safely back into the warmth of his pocket. He was bright scarlet and didn't look at Eren. Eren was also flushed and he led Levi into the cafe. It was quite cold as it was October and Levi could see his breath on the air. He trailed after his brown haired room-mate.

"Right, what do you want? You need to eat something Lee..."  
"Lee? Don't call me that, that's weird..." Levi murmured, going even redder. He was so embarrassed and now Eren was giving him stupid nicknames.

"Sorry, Levi. What do you want?" Eren corrected himself, shifting uncomfortably. He led Levi to a table and sat down in a chair, trying to control the blush on his cheeks. Levi sat gingerly on the edge of the seat opposite to Eren at the small table. "Well?"

"I don't want anything..."

"Come on Levi, I owe you money anyway, let me at _least_ buy you something to drink?" Eren said, watching him. Levi said nothing and just shrugged but Eren wasn't giving in. "Fine." Eren caught the attention of a waitress and she came over. He ordered Levi some tea and himself a coffee, knowing that Levi liked tea. Whenever he saw Levi drinking, it was always tea or water, occasionally coffee. Levi watched Eren through his black hair that was in his eyes.

"Why did you do that?" Levi asked quietly after the waitress left and Eren turned to meet his grey-blue eyes with his own bright green ones.

"Well because you need a drink." Eren replied, folding his arms.

"Well... Thanks, I guess..." Levi muttered, leaning on his hand. He put his elbow on the table. "So where are we going after this...?"

"I don't know, anywhere you like. The park?"

"Mmhmm..." Levi nodded slightly in reply, he didn't really care. They then sat in awkward silence for a few minutes until the waitress returned with their drinks. Eren thanked her and she left again. He reached over and pulled Levi's remaining earphone from his ear.

"Oi!" Levi snapped in protest, glaring at him.

"Come on Lee, social time." Eren smirked. Levi snarled at the name, his eyes flashing.

"I thought I told you not to call me that..." He hissed.

"But it's cute!" Eren looked so adorable sitting opposite with his long messy hair falling over his face and his slightly oversized red hoodie cutely baggy around him. His hands were adorably hidden by the material because it was too big and his cheeks and nose were tinged with red from cold and embarrassment. His eyes were big and shining as he smiled cheekily at his ebony haired room-mate.

"Tch..." Levi rolled his eyes and looked away. It was impossible to stay mad at Eren when he looked that sweet. Eren pushed Levi's tea towards him with one finger.

"Come on, drink up or it will get cold." Levi glanced down at it and then up at the other boy.

"Thanks Eren..." He mumbled as the younger boy picked up his coffee in two hoodie-covered hands and sipped it. Eren smiled into his cup as he watched Levi. The two of them were together out of choice this time rather than being forced to be because of room sharing.

 **(A/N:) So Levi's life wan't ruined forever thank God... Thanks for reading, we just had a large serious bit so this chapter and the next one maybe the next few have a lot of fluff... It will only get darker from here though... ;-; Hope you are enjoying, I still don't understand why you are reading this, I'm a shit writer lol XD Oh well. Thanks! Byee**


	23. Chapter 23: So Confused

Once Eren and Levi had finished their drinks, Eren paid the waitress and he and Levi went back out into the chilly street. Eren couldn't help but look at Levi as they left. He was so adorably small and he was obviously cold as he was hunched in on himself slightly, making him look even smaller. His black hair was in his eyes and his hands were hidden in his pockets along with his phone and earphones. Levi caught him looking at him and Eren didn't try and hide it. He just smiled at Levi and gestured for them to go. Levi tried to walk behind Eren as usual but Eren slowed down on purpose so that Levi would walk beside him. Scowling, Levi obliged and walked beside the taller teen but he avoided looking at him. He felt like such a wrong person, but he wasn't in a depressed mood so he wasn't reactng badly to it... He would probably get pissed of at himself on another day. They went through the streets and to Eren's surprise, whenever they crossed the road, Levi would hold onto Eren's sleeve and guide him across like he was a child. He was obviously still very worried about Eren getting hurt and Eren's earlier comment so he didn't complain. He had been thoughtless with the way he'd put what he said, which was why he wasn't going to pull away when Levi felt he had to keep him safe. Besides, it was sweet. After a while, the park came into view and they headed over to a bench to sit down. Eren sat down and patted the seat beside him but Levi sat with a gap between them on the other end of the bench.

"Oh come on Mr. Moody." Eren rolled his eyes and edged closer to Levi until they were practically touching. Levi huffed and looked out at the park to his right, the opposite direction to Eren.

"Don't pout." Eren's pout transformed into a smile as Levi knew what he was doing again.

"Talk to me then! Turn around." Eren shouldered him gently and Levi bit his lip in annoyance. "Don't bite your lip." Levi suddenly tensed, making Eren smile triumphantly. He had been right, he'd noticed that Levi occasionally did that when Eren touched him or spoke to him. He had hoped that he had been doing that right then or he would have looked like a complete idiot. He still wasn't always sure when Levi was going to do it or not unlike Levi who seemed to be able to read Eren as easily as a children's book. Levi turned around, blushing, knowing that Eren was starting to learn. He faced forwards, hiding behind his hair. "I was right wasn't I?" Eren grinned.

"Maybe." Levi grumbled in annoyance.

"Haha, I win." Eren teased and Levi stuck his middle finger up at Eren without looking at him and Eren laughed.

They sat there for about half an hour and talked. Well, I say talked but it was more Eren mucking about and talking to Levi while he listened although Levi did speak sometimes, just the odd sentence or word - But he did listen to Eren nonetheless. It was cold and Levi's nose was a bit red: Eren thought it was really cute. He poked Levi gently in the nose and the ravenette wrinkled his nose in response, moving his head away in embarrassment.

"You look like Rudolf." Eren teased lightly and Levi glared at him.

"Well at least I don't look like a tomato." Levi snapped, jabbing Eren hard in the cheek. Eren's whole face was red from cold whereas only Levi's cheeks and nose were, the rest of him was still pale. Eren pouted cutely.

"Put that lip away." Levi's eyes flashed and Eren giggled. "You're cold Eren, we should get going. He pulled his phone from his pocket and checked the time. It was 9:47. Eren looked down at the screen.

"But we still have about an hour and a quarter!" Eren protested but Levi got up. "Can't you stay? We don't have to back to college, we can just go inside somewhere in the town! Please?" Levi huffed and rolled his eyes, muttering under his breath. Eren got to his feet and looked down at Levi with big, soppy puppy dog eyes. Levi's eyes flashed in annoyance as he looked up at him.

"Please...?"

"Ugh, fine..."

"Yay!" Eren whooped and snatched up Levi's hand. This time Levi's pale face DID go fully red. He pulled his hand away awkwardly but Eren picked it up again, not giving in yet again. "Now who looks like a tomato..." He beamed and Levi sucked his teeth in irritation, looking away.  
"Shut up..."

"Come on, let's go." Eren started to lead Levi back towards the town. Levi trailed behind him slightly but his eyes didn't leave their hands. He suddenly realised just how close he had got to Eren that day. Usually he would have slapped the boy's hands away in an instant and walked off after swearing at him... But he hadn't. He'd gone out with him alone, he'd held his hand, he'd let Eren take his earphone out, he'd let Eren drag him to the park, he'd held Eren's sleeve to make sure he was ok when they crossed the street, he'd let Eren poke him in the nose and had done it back... And they were holding hands again. He really liked Eren and Eren seemed to really like him too. They were acting like a bloody couple. Levi was so confused, what if Eren tried to kiss him or ask him to be his boyfriend? What the hell would he say to the brat or do, he was still at war with hiself for finding Eren attractive... He really hoped this wasn't just the way friends were, Levi wasn't all too sure, he had forgotten what it was like to have friends. He hoped this was something more... But at the same time, he didn't. He was still reluctant at getting close to Eren but it seemed to have just happened all at once. He was an adorable brat.

 **(A/N:) Cute Ereri ;) But poor Levi is so confused about it all. I wanted to make him a little less harsh in his head if that makes sense when I am describing his thoughts even if his words still are a bit because I wanted to show that Eren makes him different... So yh. Hope you enjoyed, thanks for reading! Bye!**


	24. Chapter 24: But you're cute, so it's ok

"Ugh, thank God..." Eren huffed as they walked through the door of the art store and into the warm. He sighed in relief and rubbed his numb red nose. "It's November in a few days, I think we've just about finished Autumn..."

"Mmhmm." Levi mumbled, flattening his windswept hair.

"Nooo, don't do that! It looks really good messy!" Eren protested with a pout as he watched Levi smooth it down with his hand.

"No Eren." He said firmly. He looked around at the small art store. "So... what are we doing in here...?" He mumbled in question. Eren shrugged.

"It's got really nice stuff and I knew it would be really warm. Come on." He beckoned Levi and started to walk off. Levi groaned and followed after him. The shopkeeper saw Levi before he saw Eren and frowned. He had come over to keep an eye on him because he looked suspicious wearing his hoodie with his hands in his pockets, looking moody. He saw that he was with Eren and immediately forgot his previous worries.

"Eren!" He said with a smile. He was a middle aged man with a short crop of brown hair and stubble, with bright blue eyes. He beamed at the teen. He was about Eren's height and Levi shifted uncomfortably as he was suddenly sandwiched between the two in the small aisle they were in. Eren smiled in return.

"Hello Sir!"

"How are you? Who's your friend?"

"I'm fine, how are you? Oh, this is Levi. We're room-mates." Eren said, gesturing at Levi who grunted in agreement.

"I'm fine thank you Eren. Hello Levi." They stood in silence and Eren watched Levi expectantly.

"Oh, hi..." Levi murmured after a short while.

"Nice to meet you." The man offered him his hand. It was covered in peeling dried paint. Levi grimaced ever so slightly but it was barely noticeable and gingerly took his hand, shaking it. He hastily pulled his hand back when the man let it go and he turned to Eren with a grimace. He didn't put his hand back in his pocket. The man saw the face Levi pulled and didn't look very impressed but kept quiet about it.

"Were you just looking or are you buying anything today?"

"We just came to look and get warm, it's really cold outside." Eren said. Levi looked really uncomfortable being around someone he didn't know, now ith much on his hand, so Eren moved to the side slightly. "Um, I know you needed some... paints, Levi. I'll meet you there in a sec?" Eren looked at Levi and his eyes flashed slightly to show he should play along.

"Yeah... I'd better go do that, how could I forget." Levi glared at him before heading past him and going round the corner. The man watched him go a bit worriedly.

"He won't steal anything will he...?" He asked Eren quietly. He didn't like the way Levi seemed to behave and he was quite a paranoid person when it came to younger people. He trusted Eren though, he'd known him since Eren was 8. He had been friends with Eren's parents and always said hello to Eren when he came to look at the art supplies. Sometimes if Eren had been lonely when he was about 12 and was allowed out on his own, Eren would just come here to be with him and Eren would draw behind the counter with him. Not many customers came in here so they would paint together and the man (His name was Mr Freudenberger but that was a bit of a mouthful so Eren just called him Sir) would serve people when he needed to. Even when he was alone he would paint behind the counter, hence the paint on his hands Levi was so reluctant to touch. Eren shook his head.

"No, don't worry, he's just a bit moody." He said quietly.

"A bit?" The man murmured, that was obviously an understatement. "Is he always like that? He was quite rude..."

"Yeah don't worry about it, that was actually polite by his standards, he doesn't like people acting like they're... 'friends'. He er... He doesn't like to talk about it." He mumbled and the man nodded in understanding.

"Alright then... Well he's probably waiting for you, I'll see you later lad. Maybe pop in one day when you're free?"

"Yeah, that would be great!" Eren smiled at him. "See you later, I might buy some things but I might not, that goes the same for Levi." Eren made sure he added so that he didn't get suspicious when he left with Levi and no paint having been bought. The man gave him a smile and then turned to go back to the counter. Eren headed to go and find Levi, hoping he wasn't too annoyed. Mr Freudenberger was a father-like figure to Eren and he hadn't wanted to ignore him, so he'd just spoken to him for a minute. He looked around and found Levi in a random isle, wiping his hand on some fabric. Eren rolled his eyes.

"Lee, what are you doing?"

"Lee- _vi,_ and I've trying to get that filthy paint off..."

"Levi, it was dry, there's nothing there, it didn't wipe off."

"Still..." Levi grumbled and gave his clean hand one last wipe before putting it back in his pocket. Eren sucked his teeth and straightened the fabric.

"Levi, someone's going to buy this..." He mumbled, trying to made it nice again. Levi watched him as he did so.

"Oh well... Like you said, my hands were clean." His eyes flashed and Eren growled.

"Come on moody, I need to go find some stuff..." Eren said, taking Levi's hand back out of his pocket again to pull him to another isle.

"You know, you really need some more clothes..." Levi wrinkled his nose as Eren towed him through the store.  
"Oh?"

"You only have a few and they are old... And this?" Levi pinged the sleeve of Eren's hoodie. "Is far too big... Even if it is rather cute." He admitted and blushed. He had just spoken his thoughts outloud and he inwardly cursed himself. It was bad to think that of another boy! Eren smiled at what Levi said. Levi was starting to open up to him. He had been denying him as anything but an acquaintance but what he said to him seemed to have made him open up a bit. He was happy that he had, he liked Levi even more.

They didn't buy anything from the art store, Eren just waved at the shopkeeper before they left and this time Levi had been the one to pull Eren to another shop. He had steered him into a clothes shop. "Right. You're getting some clothes, you wear them for far too many days in a row, it's disgusting." Eren pouted.

"But I don't have much money..."

"It's fine, we don't have to buy anything really fancy, and we can put our money together." He muttered, letting go of Eren's cold, hoodie covered hand. He picked up a basket and shoved it into Eren's hands.

"But I can't take your money _again,_ I have taken far too much."

"We may not need to but either way, it's fine. Come on." Levi put his hands in his pockets, waiting for Eren to lead the way. Eren sighed and started to head to the t-shirts.

"You should wear something more colourful... Because this," Eren pinged his hoodie sleeve on his bicep. "Is black the same as the rest of all you wear... Even if it is rather cute." He repeated what Levi said and stuck his tongue out, knowing it would piss the shorter male off. Levi rolled his eyes and punched Eren in the shoulder gently but firmly. Eren found one cheap plain dark-green t-shirt that he liked and pulled out a red one for Levi who shook his head adamantly.  
"No. It's not a dark colour."

"That's the point!" Eren shoved his t-shirt into his basket and reluctantly put the red one back. "Come on, there must be _something_ here that you like that isn't black..." He sighed, looking around. He kept thrusting t-shirts in his face, but Levi turned down each and every one. "Fine, be that way. But I WILL be getting you something that isn't black for Christmas, whether you like it or not." Eren said and Levi glared at him.

"That doesn't mean I'll wear it."

"But we both know you'd feel bad about me spending money on you... So you would want to wear it for me."  
"Oh shut it Jaeger..." He snapped, looking away.

"Exactly. Right, let's get out of here." Eren led him to the self service checkouts and he bought his t-shirt and a pair of navy skinny jeans. The price was only £6.98 in total and Eren had enough so he didn't need Levi's money to his relief. They headed out of the store and out onto the street. "What time is it?" Eren asked Levi, who checked his phone.

"It's coming up to 11, where are you meeting your friends?"

"At the park." Eren replied. "Are you going to go back to the college? Or are you going to stay?" He asked hopefully.

"I'll go back." Levi said and Eren sighed sadly, his long messy hair falling in his eyes. He shouldn't complain, Levi had been with him for 2 and a half hours. They'd never done that before... But now he knew what spending time with Levi was like, he didn't want to stop.

"Oi, be glad I came with you at all." Levi muttered in annoyance.

"Yeah, I am... Thanks Levi. Are you sure you don't want to stay?"

"Yes. I am." Levi said firmly, looking up at Eren. "Tch... and get this hair cut." He said, flicking Eren's errant locks out of his eyes. Eren smiled at the act as watched Levi as he put his hand back into his pocket to hide it from the cold. "Come on then."

"Wait what?" Eren frowned as Levi started heading in the way of the park. "The college is that way!"

"I know, I'm not stupid brat. I just don't want you to go there on your own." Eren rolled his eyes at that but didn't object to spending more time with Levi.

"God Levi, you're like an overprotective mother." He said, stepping up beside him. "But you're cute so it's ok." Levi blushed at that as they walked through the street. Yet again, he held Eren's sleeve when they crossed the road and pulled him across when it was safe. When they got to the park, Levi turned to face Eren.

"Right, I'll see you later then brat." Levi huffed and Eren looked at him sadly, really not wanting him to go, but he sighed in defeat.

"Yeah, see you later. Thanks for coming with me." Eren said with a small sad smile.

"It's fine... Have a good time with them and be safe you brat..."  
"Yes mum." Eren grumbled and Levi glared at him.

"Normally I would have knocked you out for saying that... But you're cute, so it's ok." Levi deliberately copied Eren. It sort of just came out of his mouth, he didn't mean to say these things. He wasn't having a bad day so he wouldn't punish himself for it probab;y buthe probab;y would another day... He walked past him to go and Eren felt a grin lift his mouth and he couldn't help but spin round and grab Levi, pulling him into a hug.

"Mm...!" Levi's muffled voice cried out from Eren's chest as he was shoved into it. Eren gave him a squeeze before releasing a flustered looking Levi. He stumbled back a couple of steps and cleared his throat, straightening his messed up hair, his face crimson. "Er... y-yeah..."

"Sorry but I had to... See you later!" Eren turned and ran off, too embarrassed to stay, but he had a smile on his face all the same. He hoped he'd managed to cheer Levi up because he'd certainly managed to cheer Eren up. The corner of Levi's mouth twitched into a small smile as he watched his room-mate run off and sighed, turning on his heel to go.

 **(A/N:) Thanks for reading! Hopefully you will forgive me for not uploading much this week and stuff because it's nearly Christmas and stuff so I don't expect anyone to be reading anyway lol but still. Glad you are enjoying my fic, thanksss! :D**


	25. Chapter 25: Not Today

When Levi got back to the college, he headed back up to his and Eren's room. He unlocked the door and shut it behind him. He saw his blade lying on his bed where he had been sitting, stained with dried blood. Usually whenever he saw it, he'd feel the urge to cut, but today, he didn't... He picked it up and looked at it before sighing and turning to hide it in his drawer along with his other personal possessions. He slipped it into his bottom drawer and shut it firmly.

No slices with that dreaded knife would meet his skin that day.


	26. Chapter 26: Bad First Impressions

As the days went by, Mikasa noticed how much time Eren seemed to want to spend with a shifty looking male with black hair and cold grey-blue eyes. He always wore black and was always clean and organides, unlike Eren. He was surprisingly short too. The male always seemed moody and Mikasa wondered whether this was the room-mate Eren had mentioned that he thought was hot. He seemed to watch him whenever they were in the library and sometimes he would run off somewhere when they had free time. She missed him. This person seemed to be moody just like Eren described and she hated the fact that she felt he wasn't bad looking either... So the 'hot' part of what Eren said fitted him as well. It must be him... She knew that Eren was gay, and didn't care who he chose to like, but she couldn't help but feel negatively towards this stranger clothed in black. He looked suspicious and she could have sworn that she saw some cuts on his wrist once when his sleeve slipped down. She wondered whether he was alright, whether he struggled with depression or something. She wondered what he was like, he looked like the violent type and she worried for Eren's safety.

A week after she joined the college, Mikasa went over to the 19 year old. "Excuse me, can I talk to you?" Mikasa said quietly, slipping into the seat beside Levi at the library. He looked through his dark hair at her and she felt uncomfortable under his stony glare. "U-um... Do you know Eren Jaeger by any chance...?" She asked, searching the male's eyes.

"Why?" He said in a monotone voice and she swallowed. She didn't like him so far.

"I-I was just wondering..." She whispered. "I'm his sister Mikasa."

"Oh... Yeah, he's my room-mate..." Levi mumbled and turned back to the work he was trying to finish. So she was right, this was Eren's mysterious room-mate. She wondered why Eren hadn't introduced her to him before. She held out her hand.

"Nice to meet you... And your name is?"

"Levi..." He grunted in response and didn't shake her hand. He didn't look up from his work. She sat there awkwardly for a number of long moments and he didn't take her hand so she slowly took it away. Why the hell did Eren like this guy? He seemed really rude and boring.

"Ok... Um, I'm going to go now... See you later..."

"No you won't." He said plainly, not looking up. Mikasa glared at him with fierce eyes. No. She didn't like this guy one bit.

"Thank goodness for that." She grumbled bitterly and got up from her seat. He turned a glare on her but didn't respond and just looked back down. She stuck her middle finger up at his back and without turning around, he said:

"Well that's rude, you shouldn't do that behind people's backs."

"Ha! _I'm_ rude?" She cried out in complete disbelief, her eyes wide as she looked at his back. "Wow..." She hissed and left him on his own. She didn't just dislike that guy, she hated him... And she'd spoken to him for less than a minute.

"Eren? Can I talk to you for a sec?" Mikasa called Eren as they were leaving their lecture room. Eren turned around and looked through his hair at her.

"Yeah sure, what is it?" He asked when she caught up with him.

"It's about your... room-mate. He's not mean to you is he...? He's never hurt you...?" She whispered worriedly, watching Eren closely.

"He's mean to everyone Mikasa... Why are you suddenly bringing this up...?"

"Because I spoke to the short bastard for the first time earlier... And he was horribly rude." Eren shot her a glare as she called Levi a bastard.

"Don't call him a bastard Mikasa... And yes I know, he's always been rude. He has his reasons, ok? Just forget about it." Mikasa looked taken aback by Eren's protective reply.

"If he's so horrible, why are you standing up for him?"

"Because he's not horrible! Look, you don't understand, ok?"

"There's no need to get angry, I'm just trying to protect you!"

"I don't need protecting, ok? I'm fine! Just leave him and I alone, alright? God..." Eren turned away, hiding behind his hair in annoyance.

"Fine..." She grumbled through gritted teeth. "But if he so much as lays a finger on you, I'll kill him." She snapped and stalked away to find Sasha. Eren glared at her back as she left and carried on moodily going to his room.

When he got there he opened the door and saw Levi lying on his bed with his head upside down on the edge, looking at his phone.

"That's an interesting way to sit..." Eren mumbled as he shut the door behind him.

"That's an interesting way to look and I don't pick you up on that, do I?"  
"Ha. Witty." Eren sighed, setting his bag down on his bed. He pulled out some work.

"Oh shut up..." Levi mumbled. Eren sat cross-legged on his bed with his folder in his lap, his elbow on his knee, and his chin in his hand. He tapped the end of his pen on the paper. Levi glanced at him from his upside down position. "I er... met your sister earlier... Bit of a bitch." Eren groaned and rolled his eyes.

"Oi, that's my sister you're on about... And I know, she told me..." He grumbled bitterly, glaring at his paper.

"Oh? What did she say?"

"She said you were really rude..."

"So was she."

"Well something tells me you were ruder than she was Levi..."

"Yeah probably." Levi huffed, not really bothered. Eren scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"I don't think she likes you..." He said quietly with a soft sigh.

"Do I look like I care?" Eren glanced up from his paper and over at Levi hanging upside down off of the bed, the top un-shaved part of his hair dangling down and his face slightly red from being the wrong way up.

"No, you never do."

"Correct answer..." Levi grumbled and looked back at his phone. Eren sighed and looked back down at his work.

"She says that if she sees you so much as lay a finger on me, she'll kill you..." Levi shrugged, not bothered or taken aback at all.

"Bring it on..." He mumbled in his deep voice and Eren couldn't help but smile slightly at the fact that Levi was prepared to fight for him... But he hated the fact that he was having to choose between his crush and his sister.

"You'd win the fight though... So what's the point? She's a good fighter but you're far better and stronger..."

"Well then I'd win the prize then, wouldn't I?"

"The prize...?"

"You, you idiot."

"O-oh..." Eren blushed and looked back down at his paper. He sighed. "Hey Levi, will you help me with my computing studies again? My lecturer's a twat." Levi looked over at him and huffed in annoyance but sat up and got to his feet, going to sit beside Eren. As Eren watched him, he realised just have much he'd changed. He was far more open with Eren, was more willing to be around him, was mucking about with him occasionally... Eren loved it. He was trying to make Levi happy and it seemed to be working. Sometimes he still had really down days and Eren would see a bloodstained knife on his bed, or a day where he seemed to be really worrying about something and avoided Eren altogether, but Levi also had days when he would actually be the first to start a conversation with Eren. Eren was falling in love with him even more...

 **(A/N:) Thanks for reading and thanks for all of the reviews, glad you seem to be enjoying it :) TONNES more to come, as in I'm only halfway through uploading the bits I've written and I have looooads more plans for chapters, this is going to be a loooooong story... ;)**


	27. Chapter 27: Lee

It was one of Levi's down days. It's was the 15th of November and Eren had woken early to see not Levi on his bed, but a knife still wet with his blood. He had sighed and picked it up. He wiped it clean on a tissue and put it back on his bed so that it was clean and he reduced the amount of blood that was going on the sheets. While he was holding it, he thought about how easy it would be just to take it away so that Levi couldn't do use it on himself anymore, but Levi would feel hurt and betrayed, he'd get a new blade or turn to other methods to let out his pain... That was not the way to do it, he had to stop himself. Instead of meeting Armin and going down to the canteen that morning, Eren sat on his bed and waited. He wanted to make sure that Levi was alright. When Levi did eventually come back, he looked really depressed and Eren watched him sympathetically as he came through the door. He groaned when he saw Eren and shut the door behind him. "Go away Eren, aren't you meant to be somewhere instead of sitting here ready to piss me off?"

"I-I was just waiting for you so that I could check you were alright..." Eren whispered quietly.

"Yeah well I'm fine, so go." Levi snapped and snatched his blade off his bed. "Why have you been touching my stuff?"

"It was covered in blood, I cleaned it so that it wouldn't mark the sheets too much because I know you hate mess! I was just trying to help..." Eren trailed off and hid behind his long hair.

"Yeah well don't brat, now get out of here." Levi growled angrily, shoving the knife back down onto the bed in frustration. Eren got up off of his bed in silence as quickly as he could but was apparently not fast enough because Levi shoved him in the back to make him move. He stumbled forwards as Levi pushed him. "Go! Move faster you idiot, I want to be left alone!" Eren yelped as Levi pushed him and looked back at him in shock through his hair.

"Ok, ok, I'm going!" Levi grabbed him by the arm and threw open the door, forcing Eren out, his nails digging into the brunette's arm. Eren stumbled and cried out.  
"Levi, stop!" He called in shock as he was shoved outside. "Wait, I haven't got my stuff for my lectu-" The door was slammed in Eren's face. "Levi!" He hammered on the door. "You'd better not be doing anything stupid in there, if I come back and you're fucking dead, I'll... I'll kill you!" If this wasn't such a serious situation, Eren would have probably facepalmed and laughed at his own logic. Eren's brain was confused, all logic was out of the window. Levi had locked the door from the inside and Eren yanked at the doorknob. "Levi, please!" He yelled, trying to reach him. Little did he know, both Armin and Mikasa had seen everything and were watching Eren in shock from the other end of the corridor. Eren kept beating on the door until he slowed down and just leant on it with his back and slid down to the floor. "I'm here for you Levi, you can talk to me..." Mikasa started to run towards him.

"Eren! Are you ok?" She yelled as she sprinted down the corridor, swiftly followed by Armin. Eren turned his head in shock and saw the two barrelling towards him.

"Oh no..." He whispered to himself and hurriedly got to his feet just as Mikasa got to him. "Y-yeah, I'm fine! I was just sitting down because I needed to do my shoelace..." Eren lied, his voice trailing off at his terrible fib, hiding behind his hair because he was terrified his face would give everything away.

"Oi Levi!" Mikasa yelled, banging her fist against the wood of the door. "Don't touch my brother! What the hell is wrong with you? Y-"  
"Mikasa, stop!" Eren grabbed her arm and pulled her away. "Leave him alone!"

"Why should I? I told you that if he lays a finger on you, I'll kill him!" She struggled in Eren's grip, trying to twist out of his grasp. "Get off of me...!"

"No! He's upset, stop! He needs to be left alone, come away!" Eren said desperately, trying to drag her away. Armin was standing, not knowing quite what to do, looking between Eren, Mikasa and the door. "Armin help me!"

"B-but-"

"No, Armin get Eren off of me!" Mikasa ordered him.

Levi could hear all of this from inside the room and was sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. He reached for his now clean knife. This was all too much.

"Eren, get off!"

"No!" Eren managed to forcefully drag her down the corridor and Armin ran after them. Mikasa managed to yank herself free and stood in front of Eren, looking at him in complete disbelief. What was he thinking?

"Eren, he hurt you!"

"He only pushed me, God Mikasa! He's having a bad day, just lay off!" Eren growled, his eyes flashing angrily. "You've probably made it worse! He's locked the bloody door, I don't know what he's doing in there!"

"What do you mean you don't know what he's doing in there?"

"You wouldn't understand! Just leave us alone!" Eren shoved her to the side and ran back to the shut and locked door. Mikasa was about to follow when Armin grabbed her by the arm.

"Mikasa, don't, give him some time, we don't know Levi as well as Eren does, we don't understand. Come away, I don't think Eren is going to come to the lecture... We'll make an excuse for him. Just leave him." He said quietly and Mikasa looked back at her brother over her shoulder as he pressed his ear to the door and spoke softly into the crack between it and the doorframe. She nodded sadly in silence although she was still very angry about what she'd seen.

"Levi, I'm going to wait here until you unlock this door... I don't care how long it will take. I'm not leaving you... Please open the door, you know I'll listen to you, I won't laugh... I promise I won't laugh, I won't make fun of you, I swear..." Eren said quietly to the door, straining his ears to hear what was going on. "I know you have your knife, please put it down... Just stop, please... For me..." Eren whispered, but Levi shook his head from where he was inside. He had gone to the door and was standing with his back pressed against it just in case Eren had tried to force it down. He slid in silence to the floor, his knife clutched in his hand. Eren heard the sound of his back on the door and sat down also. "Lee...?" His voice was sad and broken. Levi's hand shook as he pulled his sleeve down and looked at the many cuts on his wrist. Finding space, he cut into his arm, watching as his blood bubbled slowly to the surface and dripped down his wrist much as the tears in his eyes bubbled up and dripped down his face. He felt the relief only for a split second when he saw the blood coming up and he felt the sharp pain of the knife, but the feeling was gone so quickly. They sat back to back with the door between them, splitting them apart from one another and stopping Eren from seeing Levi's tears. Levi brushed them away angrily. Tears were for the weak. He would not be weak... He mustn't cry. He dug another deep cut into his wrist in punishment for the spilt tears, and 2 others for being in love with Eren. He sliced another three for shoving Eren out so violently and probably injuring him. He still didn't know if he was disgusting for liking him, he wasn't even human, was he? He didn't know whether being gay or bi was evil or good, he'd never been taught about this stuff because he hadn't grown up going to school!

"Put it down Levi..." Eren whispered through the door. "I know you're using it, put the knife down..." Levi shook his head again and slashed more lines down his right arm. They nearly reached his elbow, only a few more and they would. There were dozens in a neat row with barely a millimetre between them. He couldn't believe what he'd done to Eren just a few minutes before, he'd grabbed him, hurt him probably... He regretted that all so much now. He'd slammed the door in his face when all he had been doing was trying to help him because Eren was a caring person that felt strongly about friends and family. About loved ones. Levi sliced more lines, his blood running down his arm and it dripped into his lap and stained the knife red. He reached the crook of his arm as his wrist and forearm were completely filled with cuts. His hand trembled as he put the knife down on the floor and let his arm fall limply at his side. He sniffed and Eren heard it. The sound made his heart ache, Levi never cried.

"Will you open the door and talk to me...?" He said quietly and stuck his fingers under the door, trying to reach Levi. Levi saw them and blood dripped from his bleeding arm onto the fingers. Eren felt the sticky, warm liquid on his hand and quickly withdrew it, looking down at it in shock and upset. "L-Levi, please stop..." He stammered, his voice choked with hurt. "I hate it when you do this, I care about you, I don't want to see you hurting yourself. "Tell me what's wrong... At least through the door, you don't have to open it..." His voice came out as barely a whisper but Levi heard it clearer than the loudest shout. He swallowed the lump in his throat.

"No..." He mumbled, trying to hide the sound of crying that was still in his voice. His eyes were red.

"Please... Please Levi... I won't laugh..."

"Yes you will..." Levi whispered, hanging his head, his hair falling in his eyes. In truth he didn't know what to think. He'd probably laugh at Levi's panic over this, Eren clearly didn't give a shit about the fact he was gay, he had accepted it and Levi didn't know if he'd accepted it as a good thing or as a bad thing.

"I promise... I won't. How will you know if you don't try? Remember what I said about taking a chance...? You came out with me and I was fine, remember? I'm still here." Eren mumbled hopefully, pressing his cheek on the door with a sigh. Levi sniffed and wiped at his eyes angrily, his arm red, dripping and inflamed.

"I-I'm..." Levi whispered, bringing his knees up. He hid his face in his bloodstained hands and had to choke back a sob. Patiently, Eren sat in silence, letting Levi take his time to tell him what had been bothering him so much for so long. After a few minutes, Eren heard Levi's quiet voice again.

"I-I'm bisexual..." He whispered, tears spilling from his eyes as he admitted what he still constantly tried to deny. Eren swallowed, why was he so upset about it?

"So... Why are you upset?" He whispered softly and waited for an answer.

"Because I'm wrong! Every other guy likes girls a-and then there's me, I like both girls and b-boys!" He cried out into his hands and Eren's heart felt in pain as he heard him so upset.

"But I'm gay, does that make me wrong?" Eren whispered, straining his ears. There was silence with the occasional sniff for about a minute.

"I-I don't know! I don't understand..." His voice was pained and frustrated.

"You've never been taught about it, have you, because you never went to school... You're just assuming it's bad because of the people you've heard talk about it." There was silence. "Well it's not wrong Levi, it's perfectly fine... People have different opinions, it's the same as everything else, some people support homosexuality and some don't... You've heard people like that dick Jean talk about it but not anyone who thinks it is positive... Well, it is positive, and you are _not_ wrong or bad. I promise!"

"B-but then why do I see posters saying that it's a sin and have people calling you or I faggots all the time? If it's not bad why is it promoted that way?" Levi cried out angrily into his hands, his salty tears stinging his open cuts.

"You've only heard the negative people because they are louder than the positive, it's the same as racism. On the news you only see news about Muslims doing terrorist attacks, you don't see news about good things they do, so people think that all Muslims are terrorists but they are not! A terrorist could be anyone... You've only heard people shouting about why homosexuality is wrong because that's what they think and that's their opinion so you are automatically thinking that you are bad. Well you're not. I think there are more people in the world that support it than don't! And some religions believe it is bad, yet again, a matter of opinion... Just trust me Levi, it doesn't make you a bad person, there's nothing wrong with you. Basically everyone I know knows that I'm gay and I've known them for years, they treat me like a normal person. Mikasa's parents adopted me and they knew... So it can't be bad, can it?"

"B-but why do some people th-think it's bad then..." Eren sighed, resting his head on the door. He folded his arms and let out a sigh.  
"Because some people are arseholes. That's MY opinion and they have their opinion. Some people like rock music, others think it's terrible. Some people like certain foods and others hate them. Some people believe in God and some think it's all a load of rubbish. It's all opinions Levi, you have a _right_ to like who you want." Eren said gently and he heard Levi sniff again as he tried to stop what he had been taught was weakness falling from his eyes. "Who do you like?" Eren whispered, more a thought to himself than a question to Levi but Levi heard him all the same and Eren knew he had. He sat in silence, waiting with his heart thumping nervously for an answer.

"...Y-you..." Levi whispered, pressing his face into his knees in embarrassment, tears still falling. His face was red and blotchy and his eyes were too. He was acting like such a damn child, he was always the strong one so why when Eren was involved was he a complete wreck? Eren swallowed and his heart fluttered in happiness but also in sadness that Levi had been hiding it for so long... Was he the reason he cut his wrists?

"I-I like you too..." Eren muttered with a sigh. "So... it's my fault that you cut then?"

"No of course it's not you stupid brat, it's my fault..."

"How is it your fault? If I wasn't always making you remember that you like me and if I wasn't always getting so close to you, you wouldn't have cut so much! I just wanted you to like me so I forced you to hold my hand and stuff like that... It's all my fault... _I_ should be the one cutting my wrists, not you... This is all my fault..." Eren heard the key in the lock turn in a hurry and the door was flung open. Eren managed to catch himself before he completely fell on his back. He turned around to look at Levi's blood and tear stained face in shock.

"It is NOT your fault Eren Jaeger, and don't you DARE start doing this to yourself because of me!" He yelled and Eren swallowed, turning around to face him. He looked down at Levi's arm that was covered in scars and fresh cuts. Tears fell from his eyes and he met Levi's grey-blue eyes that were red from the unwanted tears that had fallen. He nodded in silence as tears dribbled down his cheeks and dripped from his chin. He let out a sob and threw his arms around Levi's neck, hugging him close. He glared at the offending knife on the floor that he had grown to hate so much. He grabbed it and threw it to the other side of the room.

"N-no more of that, I should have done that sooner!" He sobbed into Levi's shoulder and the ravenette buried his face into Eren's soft, messy hair, his tears making it damp. He took in his scent with shaking breath. "There is nothing wrong with you Levi Ackerman, to me you are perfect in every way and _nothing_ and I mean _NOTHING_ you say can change that you fucker!" Eren lifted his head and faced Levi, their noses just an inch from touching. He plunged forward and kissed Levi on the lips. Levi's lips were hot and salty from his tears, they were softer than he'd thought they would be. Tears streamed from Levi's eyes and he let out a sob against Eren's lips as the teen kissed him.

"I-I've always wanted you to do that..." Levi whispered in admittance.

"Me too..." Eren whispered against his lips before sniffing and hugging his room-mate closely again. He cradled the smaller male in his arms and Levi buried his face into his shoulder, clutching Eren's adorably oversized hoodie in his fists. Eren didn't care about the fact Levi's blood was covering them both, he didn't care one bit. He just wanted to fix Levi... He kissed his head lightly and buried his nose into his sleek black hair, taking in the clean smell. "I love you Levi... W-will you be my wonderful boyfriend, as cheesy as that sounds?" Eren whispered softly in his ear and he heard Levi sniff and felt him nod into his shoulder with a small sob escaping his throat. Eren sobbed too and squeezed him tightly.

"Th-thank you for not laughing Eren..." Levi murmured into his hoodie.

"I would never laugh at your problems Lee, not in a million years..." He was telling the truth. He cared for Levi more than words could describe, and now he was his boyfriend, hopefully he was a step closer to making Levi happy again... He loved him and he had since he first saw him in that library all those months ago... And Eren noticed that he didn't stop him from saying 'Lee'.

 **(A/N:) Disclaimer: As Eren has already said for me, everyone has their own opinions and the opinions expressed in this chapter about various subjects are my opinions not everyone else's, everyone has a right to their own opinion. :)**

 **Thanks for reading! So we had a depressing chapter that turned out happier in the end... :) It has been so long sine I wrote this because I am about 40 chapters ahead of this and when I reread it to proof read and edit, I gave myself feels XD Thanks for all the reviews and follows! Much more to come, glad you all seem to be enjoying it :) Wow this is the longest chapter I've ever uploaded to either of my stories o.O XD Byeee!**


	28. Chapter 28: Eren

So... he wasn't evil after all.

All that time, he'd hidden his feelings from everyone.

He'd slit his wrist to punish himself for something he didn't need to.

He was bisexual.

He could say that to himself with more confidence now.

He still doubted when people spoke negatively though...

He felt so much better when Eren was with him.

Eren made him better...

He would never have guessed that the annoying brat that had watched him work for half a year, would be his boyfriend and be able to make him so much happier...

He still kept his knife.

It still met his wrist.

But not nearly as many times.

Usually he would have done it daily or every 2 or 3 days, and a week had passed since he'd confessed to Eren...

But he'd only cut once in that week when he was thinking of Farlan and Isabel again.

Even though Eren had told him it hadn't been his fault, he still blamed himself for their deaths.

That was something he feared Eren could never change.

He loved that bloody brat, he'd never loved anyone like this before.

He'd had his Uncle who then abandoned him with not so much as a goodbye.

He'd had friends that had died.

He had his adopted parents...

But none of them had made him feel this much better.

His friends had made him happy, yes, and he'd loved them, but Eren was different somehow.

Eren was special.

And Levi...

Loved him.


	29. Chapter 29: Levi

Levi had finally confessed.

He'd told Eren what he'd kept hidden for so long.

Eren noticed that Levi had used his knife less.

He'd seen it on his bed less.

He'd seen the blood stains less.

He'd seen less cuts.

He'd seen less silence and pain from him.

He'd bought some bandages and sat Levi down to tie up his arm.

Eren had been worried about infection and didn't want Levi, he, or anyone else to see the cuts.

Least of all Levi.

He didn't want them to remind him of why he'd done them.

Levi had moodily obliged and let Eren wrap them up.

Eren could see that Levi was different around him.

Levi never accepted help from anyone.

But he'd let Eren do that for him.

The more he found out about the mysterious male, the more he loved him.

He loved the moody emo, he'd never loved anyone like this before.

He had had his parents.

He had his friends.

He had his adopted parents and Mikasa...

But none of them could make him feel the way he did when he was with Levi.

His friends made him happy, yes, and he loved each and every one of them, but Levi was different somehow.

Levi was special.

And Eren...

Loved him.

 **(A/N:) Hellooo. Thanks for reading and Merry Christmas if you are reading it the day this was uploaded ;) Ik this seems like an end and I've had a review asking if this is the end because it seems climatic but don't worry there is PLEEEEEEEEENTY more fanfic coming your way, plenty more fluff, plenty more Ereri, and unfortunately, plenty more depression... And a lot of the other triggers featured in the description... But hopefully you enjoy it! It will only get darker from here on, there will be fluff but a lot of dark stuff coming up... P.S never be afraid to mention any mistakes you find in my fic, I'll try and correct them for you :) Maybe leave a review...? I LOOOOVE reading them teehee XD Thanks again, bye! :)**


	30. Chapter 30: Together

A week had passed since Eren had found Levi in a state and they'd talked, and Levi had cut himself considerably less since he'd found out from Eren that he didn't think being male and liking males was a bad thing. Eren hadn't kissed Levi since that day and he really wanted to kiss him again. He hadn't told anyone that they were dating either, he didn't want to tell Mikasa because he knew she'd go mad but he knew that Levi wouldn't mind him telling Armin as he had known before Levi that Eren had had his eye on him. He was dying to tell someone. He knocked on Armin and Connie's door as usual in the morning after waving goodbye to Levi and waited for one of them to open the door. When it opened he beamed at Armin.

"Hey! I have something to tell you, I can't hold it in anymore! I'm Levi's boyfriend!" He blurted out and Armin and Connie both looked taken aback. Armin chuckled and shook his head. Eren had always acted like a schoolboy and was being no different, practically jumping about with happiness at the news.

"That's great Eren." Armin sighed, picking up his bag, smiling at him. "You're always so excited..." He smirked, walking past him. Connie followed and locked the door.

"Congrats Eren, who asked who? And how long has it been for?" He turned to look at the brunette as he tucked his jangling keys into the pocket of his jeans.

"I did, and a week ago today!" He said incredibly proudly as the three walked down the corridor. Connie and Armin arched a brow at one another at Eren's childish attitude.

"Oh Eren..." Armin smiled with a sigh and shake of his head. Eren smirked, he knew he got excited like a child but he didn't care, it was who he was and Levi seemed to find him cute, so he definitely wasn't going to try and change any time soon.

"Are you gonna tell Mikasa?" Connie asked with a frown and he looked over at the the tall brunette on the other side of Armin. Eren shook his head.

"No, she hates Levi with a passion. She'd go all protective, thinking he was conning me or something stupid. It's best I don't tell her, at least not yet."

Eren always watched the clock during his classes and lectures now, always desperately wanting to get back to see Levi if he wasn't busy. Not only for his sake, but for Levi's because Levi seemed happier when Eren was around, even though he didn't smile – Eren knew he was happier though. Armin and his friends noticed they were seeing him less but Armin and Connie knew why so understood and kept quiet. He still spent a lot of time with them during classes and when Levi had his own classes though.

It was November 27th and Eren had been busy with courses literally all day. He hadn't seen Levi in the morning because the 19 year old had had an early lecture and Eren had been doing a big course in computer science all day. It was 7pm when he finished and dragged himself from his seat tiredly and groaned. Even Armin seemed worn down and the boy was a genius and enjoyed work. Eren ran a hand through his overly long hair and sleepily trudged his way through the corridors. When he remembered that he'd get to see Levi, he quickened his pace in anticipation. When Eren opened the door, Levi looked up from his phone and his eyes shone slightly. Eren knew that he was as glad to see him as Eren was.

"Hey Levi!" He said happily, glad to see his boyfriend. "You ok?"

"Mmhmm, how was you course?" Levi mumbled and Eren chucked his bag onto his bed before launching himself onto Levi's bed. He made the whole bed shake and Levi glared at him as he smiled cutely at him from where he was at Levi's feet. Levi had his knees up and peered around them at the teen lying on his belly with his chin on his folded arms. His legs were half off of the bed.

"Boring... I missed you. I hate computing"

"Oh." Levi looked back at his phone. Eren let out a whine and snatched Levi's phone from his hands.

"Come on, talk to me! I haven't seen you all day!" Levi glared at Eren as he took his phone and huffed, pushing the boy's hair out of his face.

"Well if I could actually see you, I might talk to you! This is ridiculous..." Eren's fringe had reached his chin and concealed his face. The rest of it was brushing his shoulders.

"I know, it hasn't been cut for months..." Eren poked his tongue out at Levi. "But I'm sorting it out tomorrow because Mikasa keeps complaining, she does it so you won't have to be moody about it after tomorrow." Levi grunted in answer and nodded.

"Good, you need it." Eren pushed himself up onto his hands and knees and crawled over to Levi and the ravenette scowled as his annoying room-mate squished next to him on the bed, nearly pushing him off of it. Eren looked at him with a smile and Levi glared at him but Eren knew he didn't mind that much.

"So what have you been doing all day?" Eren asked and Levi shrugged.

"Nothing, just stayed here and had one lecture..."

"You didn't go and do anything?" Eren frowned. "Have you actually eaten?" Eren asked and watched Levi closely. "And don't lie."

"No. Not hungry." He mumbled. Eren narrowed his eyes and poked Levi in the stomach, making him growl in annoyance.

"You're too thin Lee, you need to eat." Levi hissed at the use of the name 'Lee' but let it slide. "Come on, you're coming with me." Before he could react, the brunette had pushed down the lid of Levi's laptop, snatched up his hand and pulled him off of the bed.

"But Eren-"

"Nope. No 'buts'." Eren pushed a finger to Levi's soft lips and Levi glared icy fire at him through his blue-grey eyes. Eren let go of his hand for a moment to zip up his hoodie and gestured for Levi to do the same. Levi huffed and rolled his eyes as he did as he was told. Eren dragged the scowling Levi to the door and opened it. They didn't bother to lock it as they would only be gone a short while and Eren pulled him down the corridor. It was dark outside because it was winter and the stars were twinkling brightly like fairy lights amongst the ebony blackness. Eren pulled Levi out of the college and into the chilly street. Levi shivered and pulled his hood up. Eren blew on the air and he saw a cloud of steam fly into it. His teeth started to chatter and he tugged on Levi's hand.

"Come on you." They headed through the streets that smelt strongly of petrol and were busy even though it was dark. Eren headed to a chip shop and Levi was yanked inside behind him. They sighed in relief as the warm air hit them and Levi rubbed his numb red nose. He really should get some warmer clothes, his hoodie was only thin. He waited by the door as Eren ordered them a box of chips each. He brought them over to Levi and handed one to him before opening the door and walking out. Levi followed and took up Eren's hand when they got back out into the cold. Eren smiled as Levi took control and Levi pulled him down the pavement. His grip tightened on Eren's hand when they crossed the road but Eren stayed silent. He knew Levi worried about his safety and he wanted to make sure Levi felt he was ok, even if it did look as if Levi was a mother taking a little kid across the road. Levi knew a place where it was warm and food was allowed so he led Eren through the streets to a sort of art museum place. He knew Eren liked art anyway, so it seemed like the perfect place. It was just local work but he hoped Eren would still like it, even if Levi wasn't interested in art because he was absolutely useless at drawing. They headed through the streets, surrounded by the noise of bustling people and the honking of car horns. Eren kept looking at the Christmas displays in windows but Levi never even glanced at one. He wondered if Levi had ever had a proper Christmas.

"Levi, where are we going?" He asked around his chattering teeth.

"It's just over there, don't worry." Levi reassured him and after about a minute, they were back in the warmth. Eren pulled his hood off and looked around him to see where they were. He saw a sign pointing to an exhibition of some sort and turned to Levi.  
"What is this place?"

"An art... thing. I know you like drawing and I know you're allowed food here so I thought we might as well come in here." Eren smiled. Levi always tried to make him happy when he could and was in the mood.

Eren led Levi through the exhibition, munching his chips. Levi ate the occasional one. Levi didn't really take any interest in the art but just followed after Eren. He looked at Eren through his hair most of the time, he was so handsome and adorable. It was only a small exhibition so it only took 5 minutes to go around the whole thing. They sat down on a bench at the end of it and Eren rested his cheek on Levi's head sleepily.

"This place was a good idea." He admitted and glanced down at Levi's chip box. "You haven't eaten much Lee, come on." He shouldered him lightly and Levi looked at the chips moodily.

"You're in the habit of not eating. You need to eat more. Come on." He reached into his own box and pulled out a chip, moving it towards Levi's mouth. The male shyed away from it.

"Eren, that's embarrassing you brat." He wrinkled his nose. "And that has vinegar on, it smells disgusting."

"You might like it! Try it!" Eren pushed it against Levi's lips and Levi turned his head away stubbornly. Eren rolled his eyes. "You're acting like a child, come on Levi. Try it? For me?" Levi turned and glared at him. Eren looked down at him with the sad puppy eyes he knew Levi couldn't resist, making the older male shift uncomfortably.

"Fine..." He huffed in annoyance and Eren grinned in triumph, ready to feed it to him. "Woah, not so fast." Levi took it from him. "I can feed myself. Oi, no pouting!" He shoved the chip against Eren's pouting mouth.

"Hmm...!" Eren mumbled in protest and opened his mouth, letting Levi feed him it. Levi looked at him in disgust and wiped his fingers on Eren's shoulder.

"Ugh, disgusting..." Eren handed him another chip.

"Right, eat it." Levi rolled his eyes and sniffed it, coughing at the smell.

"Ugh..."

"Go on!" Levi sighed and nibbled off the end before grimacing.

"No." He shook his head. "Don't like it." He put it back in Eren's box.

"Well you tried, that's all I asked." Eren smiled at him and put an arm around him, giving him a squeeze.

The two stayed there for about 20 minutes while Eren tried to get Levi to eat more and ended up eating half of the box for him. Levi ate the other half though which was an achievement, even if it definitely wasn't enough food or one day. They headed back to the college and back to their room. They went for showers and then Eren cuddled up beside Levi on the shorter male's bed. He rested his head on his shoulder and laid one hand on his chest as he watched Levi on his phone. After a while, his eyelids began to droop. When Levi looked down at him, the teen was breathing deeply, still cuddled up to him, fast asleep. He'd managed to fall asleep on top of him and he gripped Levi's shirt slightly in his sleep. Levi smiled slightly, brushing some of the boys hair from his face. He looked so cute and peaceful. He pulled the covers up over them quietly so that Eren would be warm before whispering, "Goodnight Eren..." and going back onto his phone. Shockingly, at about 1am Levi rested his cheek on Eren's head and managed to drift off to sleep too. The two stayed in one another's arms like that all through the night; even Levi's insomnia couldn't keep him awake with Eren so cutely cuddled up to him like that.

 **(A/N:) Thanks for reading! Hope you are enjoying, thanks for all the faves, follows and reviews I've received so far! :) Byeee!**


	31. Chapter 31: Secrets

In the morning, they both awoke to the alarm and Eren started reaching over to the right in search for the clock on the table but ended up just groping the mattress and hitting Levi in the face. Levi blinked as Eren gently hit him in the cheek and rolled his eyes as the boy kept his eyes closed and frowned as he searched in vain for the clock. Levi took things into his own hands and reached over Eren's head to turn it off. Eren blinked sleep away from his eyes and squinted up at Levi who also looked sleepy and rubbed his eyes.

"Wait what...?" The brunette mumbled groggily. He didn't remember going to bed with Levi...

"Morning Eren..." Levi sighed tiredly. Then Eren saw Levi's phone on the covers and remembered watching him on it last night. He must have fallen asleep and by the looks of things, Levi had too. He smiled at the thought and snuggled into Levi's strong chest. He'd always dreamt of waking up in Levi's arms and that dream had become a reality.

It was November 28th and Eren wrote it down on a piece of paper, and tucked it in his drawer so that he would always remember when he first woke up in Levi's arms. He was weird like that. He liked to remember dates of things like that. He had other pieces of paper too, he had the date when he'd first seen Levi, when Levi had first looked at him, when they'd first talked, when they became room-mates, when they became one another's boyfriends, and now when he'd woken up next to him. Eren knew he was a bit strange but he didn't care. They meant something to him and that was good enough for him. They were his memories. He headed out into the town with Mikasa that day and they were going to go to lunch before going back to get Eren's hair sorted, and then go to an English lecture. He wondered whether he should tell her about his relationship with Levi while they were out and about – so over lunch, that's exactly what he did. They were sitting in a cafe and Mikasa was looking at her cheap phone. Eren drummed his fingertips on the table before clearing his throat to speak.

"Mikasa? I want to tell you something."

"Yeah, what is it?" She mumbled, not looking up from the text she was writing.

"It's about Levi." Mikasa pricked up her ears at the mention of Levi's name and she looked up at Eren with her eyes narrowed.

"Has he hurt you or something?"

"No, no, no, nothing like that. No, I wanted to tell you that he's my boyfriend now." He chewed his lip, not sure what her reaction would be.

"W...what?" She whispered, looking at him in shock.

"Yeah, I know he seems really rude and moody, and he _is,_ but when he's with me, he's so much different. We went out to town yesterday and I accidentally fell asleep while hugging him on his bed last night. So did he. He's kind of a softy just doesn't like to admit it..." Eren blushed slightly as he told Mikasa about the previous night.

"Mmhmm..." She murmured and looked back down at her phone in silence. She wasn't happy at all, she hadn't liked the way Levi had thrown Eren out of their room the previous week and hadn't liked her first impression of him either... But she didn't want to upset Eren by speaking her thoughts out loud.

"So... what do you think?" Eren prompted, trying to catch her eye. She simply shrugged.

"It doesn't matter what I think, does it, he's your boyfriend, not mine..."

"So, in other words, you disapprove..." He let out a sigh and hung his head.

"Well I don't really know him but as long as your'e happy and he doesn't hurt you, that's all that matters..." She huffed before looking up at her brother's bright green eyes. "Just make sure he doesn't hurt you and tell me if he does, ok?"

So, Mikasa had taken it better than Eren had expected. She hadn't blown up and gone to murder Levi as Eren thought she would have but he could tell that she was really unhappy about it... But like she said, Levi wasn't her boyfriend: he was Eren's – so it shouldn't really matter what her opinion on the situation was. She was a bit quieter for the rest of the afternoon but otherwise, she didn't show her feelings on what Eren had told her. She cut Eren's hair back to normal and now the brunette could actually see. His hair was just a bit in his eyes now, like it was meant to be. They went to their boring English lecture along with Sasha and Armin. Jean was still being a dick to Levi and was being as nasty as usual to Eren. They hated one another. During the lecture, they got into another fight and Eren got sent out because they were disrupting it. Eren had glared death at Jean before snatching up his bag and storming from the room. God he hated that horse-faced twat... Eren had seen him mumbling about Levi behind the ravenette's back many times and had heard the nasty things he'd say more than once, and had retaliated each and every time. He wouldn't stand for it and the last thing Levi needed was for his worries about being bi to get worse again. Likewise, Levi had picked fights with Jean when he'd heard him making fun of Eren; but Jean was usually too scared to fight him as he knew what Levi was capable of. No one wanted to fight Levi.

Eren headed back to their room and spent the rest of the day with Levi. Levi had work to do so Eren had to be quiet for most of it. He lay on his bed, gazing at the ceiling while Levi worked at the desk. After about an hour of pure boredom, Eren had got up and glanced over Levi's shoulder.

"What you doin'?" Eren asked softly and Levi covered his paper with his hand. "I saw the word 'application'."  
"Just normal work..." He mumbled and waited for Eren to move away from him so that he could carry on. He didn't. "Eren, can you go away now?"

"Why did it say application on it? Are you looking for a job?" Eren reached out and gently moved Levi's fingers. His eyes went wide. "The army?! Why on earth would you want to join the army?" He looked down at Levi in shock. The ravenette shrugged and looked away.

"Well the only thing I'm really any good at is fighting so I might as well put it to good use..."

"B-but you're really clever! You don't need to join the army! Besides, I don't want you to go!"

"Eren I don't have any GCSEs or A levels, I won't be able to get a proper job anyway..."

"You'll get college degrees though! Those are fine! Please don't join the army!" Eren pleaded, kneeling down beside him. He looked at the paper. It was a form to apply for training. He put his hand over it. "B-but when? When are you planning to go?"

"I don't know, sometime next year probably..."

"B-but you can't leave me! I wouldn't see you for ages and I'd be left here all alone!" Eren watched his room-mate and boyfriend in horror, his green eyes wide in fear. "A-and what if you get hurt?"

"You wouldn't be alone..." Levi mumbled, moving Eren's shaking hand off the paper. "You'd have Armin and what's her name..."

"But they're not _you!_ I want _you!_ " Levi sighed and said nothing, not looking at the teen.

"Well fine! If you're joining, I am too!"

"Oh no you're not, I won't let you. Besides, this training camp is for 17+ only, you're 16."

"But I'll be 17 in March!"

"Eren. You're not joining the army."

"Then neither are you." Eren said firmly and the two glared at one another for a solid minute before Levi got bored and turned back to his application.

"Are they even going to let you in?"

"Yeah, they'll know I've been on the streets because they'll have my record from the care home, but that shouldn't stop them." Levi said and Eren's lip trembled. Levi scoffed and rolled his eyes, turning away. "Don't look at me like that Eren, you're making me feel guilty..."  
"Well good, because I don't want you to go! Please, at LEAST think about it for a bit longer and don't send it in yet... For me?" Eren stared up at Levi through his green eyes and Levi glanced through his black hair at him. He sighed and put his pen down.

"Fine, fine... I'll think about it. No promises though... I wasn't planning on sending it in for a while yet anyway..." He mumbled and picked up the paper, putting it back inside his work folder. "Happy now?" He glared at Eren with his arms folded. Eren nodded and pulled him into a hug.

"I don't want you to go Levi... Never, ever, _ever._ " Levi sighed and ruffled Eren's messy hair.

"Shitty Brat..." He mumbled.

 **(A/N:) Hey guys, so I meant to update yesterday but ran out of time, sorry! Thanks for reading :) Hope you are enjoying! Maybe leave a review? ;) Thank you all so much for your support, it means a lot. :D**


	32. Chapter 32: Breaking Points

"Please Levi? You can stick with me, it will be fine!" Eren was sitting on Levi's bed, poking the lump under the covers that was Levi. It was a weekend and Eren wanted Levi to go out with he, Armin and Mikasa so that Mikasa would maybe feel better about him. Levi had got annoyed at him asking so had just hidden under his duvet in annoyance – it was also freezing and it was warm under the covers. A growl emerged from the duvet as Eren jabbed the lump. "Please? I want Mikasa and you to meet properly so that it won't be as awkward! And Armin is really nice!"

"No..." Levi grumbled from under the covers and Eren tugged them off of him, flopping down beside him so that his head was on the pillow and he was facing the moody Levi. Levi glared daggers at him, his hair a hot mess.

"Please...?" Eren asked quietly. "For me?" He looked at Levi with huge puppy eyes and Levi growled again, looking away. "Please?"

"Ugh, fine! But I'm not talking to either of them and I'm sticking with you..."

"But the point is that you _should_ talk to them! I want you and Mikasa to make up as you didn't really have the best start..."

"No. If you want me to come, I stay with you." Levi mumbled firmly and Eren sighed, watching Levi. He knew that that would be impossible as Mikasa would get jealous if Levi didn't let her near Eren... But oh well, maybe Levi would speak to them when he met them... Eren was meant to meet them in 10 minutes in Armin's room.

"Fine. Just be nice, ok? And it will be fine, I promise." Eren propped himself up on his elbows and leaned forward, pecking Levi gently on the lips before sitting up, shivering. "It's freezing..."

"Well it is December..." Levi grumbled.

"Are you not excited for Christmas? I've never heard you mention it and it's in 20 days." Levi shrugged as he sat up, smoothing down his messed up hair. He watched Eren moodily.

"Why would I be excited? It's just another day isn't it, people just eat more and spend too much money on stupid gifts that no one ever appreciates."

"It's much more than that! You spend time with friends and family, you eat nice food yes and you give and receive presents but there's decorations and nice things to do with everyone!"

"Yeah well I've never done anything for Christmas... Isabel and Farlan died in December anyway, I would rather not celebrate..." He mumbled, getting up. Eren watched him sadly.

"Well... You are going to have to have a nice Christmas this year because you're stuck with me for a room-mate and a boyfriend." Levi groaned, not interested in Christmas in the slightest.

"Whatever..." He murmured and Eren sighed, getting up also.

"Come on Levi, we need to go. Eren got his tattered shoes out, pulling them on without bothering to tie them up properly. Levi watched him and shook his head.

"Tch..." He sighed, pulling on his own. He put his hands in his pockets and followed Eren from the room. Eren locked up and Levi trailed behind him down the corridor. The brunette knocked softly on Armin's door and the blonde came out, wearing his warm coat.

"Is Levi coming or not then?" He said and then saw the moody male behind Eren, hiding behind his hair. "Oh hey Levi!" He said cheerily and glanced up and down the corridor. "Now we're just waiting for Mikasa." After a few laborious minutes of waiting, Mikasa appeared at the other end of the corridor. She saw Levi before she saw the others and glared darkly at him. He glared through his ebony hair back at her. She came over to them and pulled a scarf around Eren's neck while Eren protested.

"What's he doing here?" She murmured to Eren. Armin and Eren had deliberately not informed her that they were planning on dragging Levi along.

" _He_ has a name. Levi is coming with us, aren't you?" Levi said nothing. "That's a yes. Come on, let's go. Mikasa, I don't want this..." He fingered the red scarf in disgust.  
"Too bad. It's freezing and I don't want you to catch a cold. You gave it to me ages ago, remember?" Armin started to lead them down the corridor and Levi trudged after them. Mikasa was beside Eren and Levi glared at her back as she walked off with him, not able to help the feeling of jealousy that was bubbling away in his stomach.

"Why did you have to invite him? He hates me." Mikasa whispered quietly to Eren as they headed down the stairs.

"That's the reason I did, you need to get over this stupid thing there is between you. I don't want to constantly choose between the pair of you." The brunette mumbled back and Mikasa shot a glare at Levi over her shoulder only to receive a worse glare back.

When they got out into the street Levi shivered. He really didn't want to go with them, he'd only agreed for Eren's sake and now he wasn't even able to be with him. He looked up when he felt a hand pull his own out of his pocket.

"Come on Levi." Eren said softly and pulled his boyfriend up beside him so that he was between Mikasa and he. His sister's eye twitched as he watched them link hands and she bristled but said nothing.

They followed Armin down the street and Levi kept lagging behind so Eren kept tugging his hand, but Levi didn't even look at him. He hated being around people that weren't Eren and he felt embarrassed holding his hand in front of them. They headed to a coffee shop with sparkling blue Christmas lights twinkling on the entrance in the shape of icicles. Levi huffed as they headed inside and Eren let go of him. Just as he and Armin had planned, Eren sat beside Armin at a table, leaving Levi and Mikasa no option but to sit together. They glared at one another, standing a meter away from each another. "Go on, sit down." Neither moved. "Mikasa, do it." Eren looked at her meaningfully. He knew that Levi would never do it unless Mikasa did it first and he would probably just walk out. She hissed and sat down on the seat at their booth and scooched down as close to the wall as she could, not looking at Eren. "And you Lee... Sorry, Levi." He hurriedly corrected himself after an angry glare from Levi. The ravenette reluctantly sat on the edge of the seat, as far away from Mikasa as he possibly could. "Ugh, this is ridiculous... Just sit next to one another."

"But she hates me."

"But he hates me." Mikasa and Levi said at the same time and turned a harsh glare on one another.

"Oh give me strength..." Armin sighed and got up. He gestured for Levi to move next to Eren and he sat down beside Mikasa. The girl glared at Eren's boyfriend and he glared back as he sat beside her brother. Eren looked between them and shook his head, muttering to himself. When a waitress came over, Armin ordered for them and asked everyone in turn what they wanted. When he asked Levi, there was silence so Eren spoke up for him and ordered him a coffee, receiving a rather strange look from the waitress. Mikasa rolled her eyes and tsked. What was he, a child? Could he not speak for himself? What was wrong with that guy, and what must be wrong with Eren for liking him... When the waitress left, Armin turned back to the three.

"So..." He said awkwardly in the silence. No one replied and Eren shifted uncomfortably, taking Levi's hand comfortingly under the table, knowing that this was difficult for him. Levi faced his lap. He hated this, he hated people, he especially hated Mikasa and he hated the fact that he could feel both her and Armin's eyes on him. He was doing this for Eren, not for them. Armin seemed alright but he didn't want to talk to him and he hated Mikasa.

"So why'd you come with us Levi?" Mikasa glared at him and Eren shot a dark glare at her, squeezing Levi's hand protectively.

"Because I asked him to, I wanted him to come with us so he agreed for me... Because he's great like that." He continued to glare hard at Mikasa and she glared back, not blinking.

"Let me change my question then, why did you want him to come with us?" This time she directed her question at Eren.

"Because I like him, and you and he need to stop this childish fighting. I expected you to at least try Mikasa, and you didn't."  
"Well why didn't you expect him to? Are you saying it's my fault?" Mikasa snapped and Armin looked between them nervously.

"Because you're different people Mikasa, I thought that you would at least sit next to him but you made a fuss!"

"So did he!"

"But that's not his fault!"

"Well it's not my fault that he hates me!"

"Yes it is actually!"

"Y-"

"Guys!" Armin interrupted their sibling argument loudly, his voice cracking slightly as it usually did when he shouted. "Stop. Just forget about it, we came here to all get along, not fight."

"Yeah Mikasa..." Eren snarled and Mikasa hissed at him. Armin shook his head with a sigh. They all sat there and it was silent apart from the odd word. Levi went on his phone but kept holding Eren's hand and Mikasa continued to glare at him. He wasn't stupid, he knew she was doing it. When they got their drinksm Levi didn't even look up. Eren spoke to Armin a bit and Mikasa just continued to glare at her brother's moody room-mate. Levi didn't even touch his drink. When they got up to go, Eren gave Armin some money for the drink apologetically and mouthed a sorry to him. The blonde teen nodded in understanding.

The 4 headed down the street and Eren walked beside Levi. Armin walked quite fast beside Mikasa, trying to give Eren some time to talk to Levi.

"You ok Levi? I know this is difficult for you..."

"Yeah, fine..." Levi mumbled, scuffing his shoes on the concrete.

"It means a lot to me that you would do this for me and come with us, I'm sorry that Mikasa isn't cooperating..." Eren said regretfully, his messy hair blowing in his eyes in the chilly breeze..

"Mhm." Levi murmured and Eren stopped him in the street. He put his arms and Levi's waist and leaned down to kiss the shorter male. He pressed his warm lips to Levi's and Levi could taste the rich coffee on Eren's lips. There weren't many people in the streets and Levi couldn't bear the thought of pulling away – so he kissed him back. Armin glanced over his shoulder and saw the two. He raised an eyebrow and carried on walking, hoping that Mikasa wouldn't look back. She did and she growled at what she saw.

"That's disgusting..."

"They're just kissing, it's not disgusting..." Armin mumbled and he looked up at Mikasa.

"I mean the fact that Eren would want to kiss him of all people..."

"Mikasa! Don't be so rude!"

"Sorry, but I don't like him one bit."  
"You don't know him! Why won't you give him a chance?" Armin said, upset.

"Because I don't like what I've seen so far, he seems trouble and is rude and horrible, he threw Eren out of their room, remember?"

"Eren said he'd had reasons and told me that Levi apologised later on that day..." They went to a bench and Armin sat down, patting the seat beside him so that they could wait for Eren and Levi who obviously wanted a moment alone. "Look, Mikasa..." He let out a sigh. "If Levi can come out here with people he doesn't really know, which is something he obviously has trouble with, _for Eren_ , then you can at least be polite to him _for Eren_. Levi obviously doesn't feel comfortable being around Eren's friends, Eren told me ages ago when we started this year that Levi seemed to try to distance himself from anything to do with friends, I don't know how Eren managed to be his boyfriend if Levi is like that but Eren knows him a lot better than we do. Do it for Eren if not for him, just try and be nice? I'm not saying you have to be best friends, just not enemies... Because otherwise this will be a really long day and both Levi and I will probably get tired of it and leave." Mikasa sighed and glanced over at Levi and her brother as they parted their lips and spoke to one another, Eren leaning his forehead on Levi's, their hands clasped. She wondered what they were saying. She saw Levi nod solemnly and Eren reach down to kiss him lightly on the lips again before they started walking back to her and Armin again again. She looked away hurriedly. She didn't like seeing Eren kiss anyone, let alone Levi. She was very protective of him and always worried that he'd get hurt. She looked up at the sky. It was grey and plain, the sky was obscured with dull grey clouds and she felt a couple of cold flakes touch her face. She looked down when Eren and Levi turned up. Levi let go of Eren's hand and stayed back from the group. She saw that Armin pretended not to notice and figured she should do the same... She wasn't doing this for Levi, she was doing it for Eren.

Mikasa tried to be civil towards Levi for the rest of the day but he didn't say one word to her, he stayed either next to Eren or behind the lot of them. She'd rolled her eyes when he'd taken Eren's hand to cross the road, thinking he was too scared to do it himself, not knowing the real reason fir it unlike Eren and Armin. She kept on catching Levi glaring at her and she glared back, forgetting that she was meant to be trying to make up with him.

"Do you ever smile?" She snapped in the afternoon when she'd all but had enough, and Levi glared at her harder. She was at her breaking point. Eren stepped between them.

"Stop it Mikasa."

"I just asked him a question!"

"Yeah well don't, alright? Just leave him alone!"

"I didn't do anything wrong! He's the one that has been giving me the evils all day!"

"Stop acting like such a child, you did it too bitch..." Levi snapped moodily and Eren screwed his eyes shut, knowing this was going to end badly.

"Me? At least I don't have to hold Eren's hand to cross the road or have him order stuff for me!"

"You don't know me, just fuck off!"

"Ok stop!" Eren glared at them both. "Levi, shush. Mikasa, you too. This is ridiculous. Mikasa, he's right, you don't know him so leave him alone, he was holding my hand to protect me, not himself. He worries about me, ok? And Levi, don't swear at her."

"Trust you to take his side!" Mikasa yelled.

"I didn't, I told him to stop too!" Eren shouted back, his eyes flashing. "The whole point of this was to make you two stop fighting, not make it worse!"

"How can you expect me to be nice to him if he just acts like a dick to me!"

"Fuck off Mikasa, I haven't even spoken to you today until now, all I did was look at you, not that it was a very nice sight!" Levi was also at his breaking point.

"Ok, STOP." Armin stepped in too. He glared at Mikasa and Eren glared at Levi. "The pair of you. Mikasa, you're coming with me, Levi go with Eren. I don't want to listen to this any longer."

"Sounds good to me!" Mikasa snapped before turning on her heel and stalking off. Armin cursed under his breath before hurrying after her. Levi glared up at Eren and Eren glared back.

"I told you this wouldn't bloody work, we still hate one another! In fact it made it worse."  
"How was I supposed to know that? Don't swear at my sister either!" Eren growled but then sighed. "Come on, lets go back to college... I'm sorry I dragged you out here, Armin and I just wanted to try and fix everything... It didn't work. It's not Mikasa's fault nor your fault, it's mine for coming up with the idea... I'm sorry..." He sighed sadly, the biting wind blowing his hair softly in his eyes, hiding him.  
"Hmph..." Levi grunted, not looking at him. He didn't blame Eren for this, he didn't expect anyone to like him, how could he expect other people to like him if he didn't even like himself?

 **(A/N:) Another fairly long chapter, phew! Took ages to proof read but it was worth it :) - well, I hope it was, let me know if you enjoyed it, hopefully you did! Thanks for reading! I've had a few reviews asking whether this sort of thing was going to happen and yes it has ;). More hopefully coming tomorrow :).**


	33. Chapter 33: Substitutes

Later that evening, Eren stayed inside their room but Levi felt he needed some air, so he headed outside and just walked down the street, his hands in his pockets and his hood covering his head as he hung it low. He watched his feet and barely looked up the whole time. It was freezing but he didn't care. He pricked his ears and glanced up when he heard muffled screaming and looked around him. There was an alleyway to his right and he frowned. The noise was coming from that direction. He frowned and looked into the blackness. He could see a struggling shape being held against the wall. They were female. They were being held to the wall by a ebony silhouette. Levi pulled his hood over his face further and glanced behind him before heading into the alley. Under the cover of the shadow, he edged along the damp brick wall. He caught sight of the hostage's face and his eyes widened in shock. It was Mikasa. She must have come out here to get some air much like him and something must have happened. He could hear the man that was clamping her mouth shut with his strong, large hand threatening her. She had obviously put up a good fight as his arm looked red and was bleeding. When Levi got close enough, he took the male by surprise and grabbed him by the shoulders, pushing him into the opposite wall. Mikasa gasped for air and tumbled to the ground, looking in fear at the second person now in the dark alley with her. The man twisted Levi's arm and they started to fight. Mikasa scrambled backwards on her hands, her eyes glassy and wide with fear. Levi punched the man hard in the face but he got the better of him and held Levi against the wall.

"You..." The man hissed. He was a thin but strong looking man with a large scar on his cheek from a knife. He had fierce grey eyes and brown hair. He stank of weed.  
"Yeah, me..." Levi growled and narrowly dodged a punch aimed at his head.

"What the hell are you doing out here fighting Levi, I thought you gave up this life a couple of years back! Why'd you protect her? That your girlfriend?" Mikasa was huddled against some bins. She had twisted her ankle and didn't know which way to run out of the alley, she was shaking with fear. Her heart stopped when she heard Levi's name and caught a glance of his pale face under his hood. She listened in horror as the man mentioned him 'giving up this life'.

"No, get off me Lukas you piece of shit!" Levi growled and tried to twist out of his grip. He used his knee to kick the dangerous looking man in the balls and he let out a strangled cry before falling down to his knees. Levi rushed forward and grabbed Mikasa, hauling her to her feet. She screamed and tried to get away but Levi held firm. "It's me Mikasa! Stop!" He half pulled her, half carried her out of the alley and into the street. He pulled his hood off and Mikasa could see him fully. Levi hauled her away from the alley and she struggled as he did. The ravenette put her down on some grass. She scrambled away from him.

"Get away from me!"

"Jaeger, it's Levi, stop."

"You knew that man! You knew him!"

"That was a long time ago, now come on!" He gripped her wrist to drag her to her feet. "I need to get you back to the college, are you hurt?"

"How did you know him?! What are you even doing out here? Don't touch me, why do you care I I'm ok!"

"I could ask you the same question, now come on!" Levi growled and pulled her after him while she struggled in his grip.

"Ow! My ankle's hurt, stop it!"

"You could have said something... We're on the other side of town, how the hell am I meant to get you back?"

"I'm not going anywhere with you!" She yelled at him.

"I just saved you for God's sake!" Levi shouted back in disbelief. "What is wrong with you?!" Mikasa fumbled for her phone in her pocket and hurriedly called Armin, limping away from Levi.

" _Mikasa?"_

"Armin get Eren! Quick!"

" _O-ok!"_ She heard Armin throwing open his door and running to Eren's room, knocking hurriedly. He heard them say something and then heard Eren's voice.

" _Mikasa? Are you alright?"_

"Your crazy boyfriend just dragged me out of some alley and he won't leave me alone, I've hurt my ankle, I can't get aw-" Levi snatched the phone.

"Eren it's me, I found her in an alley and she was being attacked by someone, she keeps- Stop!" Levi wrenched the phone away as Mikasa tried to grab it. Eren listened in shock. "Stop it you idiot, let me speak to him!"

"Give it to me, you lied to him! You knew that man! I heard you with him!"

" _Mikasa? Levi? Where are you right now?!"_

"On the other side of bloody town and your fucking boyfriend has stolen my phone!" Mikasa roared, trying to get it from Levi, who hit her away again.

"Can you get a taxi or something, Mikasa can't walk-"

"Eren he's not safe! Levi's dangerous and he won't let go of me or give me my damn phone!"

"For fucks sake, shut up!"

" _Shut up, the pair of you!"_ Eren yelled down the phone. " _I'm on my way, where abouts are you both?"_

"By the er..." Levi glanced around hurriedly. "The cinema." Eren hung up as he rushed to get a taxi. Mikasa snatched back her phone back and Levi glared at her, his black hair brushing across his eyes in the wind. The girl swallowed and turned to run off but found a hand holding her arm in a vice like grip, preventing her from getting anywhere.

"You can't fool me you bastard, you may be able to fool my brother, but NOT me!"  
"Just shut up and stand still..." Levi grumbled, not letting go of her arm.

Eren kept on urging the taxi driver to hurry up as they headed through the town. The sky was pitch black and cloudy apart from the occasional star peeking through. The lights in the windows of shops were bright and the street lamps were bold and yellow. Eren searched the pavement with his emerald eyes just in case Mikasa had run away from Levi. He was so worried about them, why the hell were they out there and Mikasa had said she'd met him in an alley! What were either of them doing down there? Levi wasn't getting involved with people again, was he? As soon as the taxi came to a stop, Eren was out of the door. He skidded to a halt and ran back asking the driver to wait before rushing off across the grass. He could see Mikasa struggling in Levi's grip and ran over to them.  
"Mikasa!" He yelled and she looked up with wide eyes. She yanked herself free and half limped half ran towards him while Levi rolled his eyes and followed.

"Eren!" She threw her arms around the brunette before glancing over her shoulder at the approaching Levi. She snatched up Eren's hand and started to pull him towards the taxi. "Come on! Hurry up, he's coming!"

"Mikasa, we're not leaving him! What the hell has been going on?"

"I came out here because I wanted to be on my own and when I was near an alley some guy snatched me and dragged me down there! I fought with him but he won and then Levi appeared down the alley and fought with the guy! He knew him Eren, he knew his name and the man knew his, he mentioned Levi having done that before! He's dangerous Eren!"

"Mikasa, trust me, it's ok. I know why he knows him, don't worry about it... Is your leg ok?" Eren mumbled quietly, pulling his hand from Mikasa's grip.

"Don't worry? Don't worry?! He knew a thug and is a criminal! It's fine, just twisted, but that's not important right now!" She cried out. Eren looked back at Levi, his hair in his eyes. The ravenette reached them and glared at Mikasa before turning to Eren.

"Levi, are you ok?"

"I'm always ok. She's not though..." He grumbled and Mikasa hissed.

"You can shut up, you knew that man. Tell us Ackerman, what were you doing in that alley and how did you know him?" Mikasa pulled Eren back protectively.

"I just came out here because I needed some air and I heard some idiot being held against the wall so I went to help them! They then started blaming me!"

"You avoided my question, how did you know him!" Mikasa bristled and Eren turned to push her towards the taxi that was still waiting for them in the dark.

"That's enough Mikasa, leave it. Come on Levi."

"Eren, doesn't it bother you? You know something, tell me what it is!" She hauled herself from his grip and stumbled a couple of steps back, leg twinging. Eren glanced at Levi helplessly as he stepped up to his side.

"Tell her." Levi muttered plainly and Eren's eyes widened in shock.

"W-what? Tell her wh-"

"The truth dammit, otherwise this will never end!" He snapped and Eren swallowed, looking back at Mikasa through his messy hair.

"H-He used to live on the streets, ok? That's how he knew him."

"What, he was some sort of nasty thug?" Mikasa's eyes flashed and she glared daggers at Levi who glared darkly back.

"Yeah, something like that, now move it bitch, we need to get back." He snarled and she gritted her teeth and clenched her cold fists in anger.

"Eren, this fucker is dangerous, come away from him right now! I can't believe you didn't tell me that before or I would never have let you near one another!"

"That's precisely why I DIDN'T tell you!" Eren cried out. "Come on, we are _all_ going back. Move." Eren ordered and gestured for Levi to follow. Mikasa looked as if she was ready to attack Levi so Eren added, "And don't bother trying to fight him, you know even better now that he'd win. We'll talk more when we get back to college."

Mikasa was furious and when Eren got into the back of the taxi beside her, she reached across him and slammed the door. Levi glared through the window at her and had to get in the front.

"Yeah, mature Mikasa." He growled, not bothering to do his seatbelt.

"Well I didn't want my brother to sit next to some crimin-" Eren clamped a hand over her mouth, she mustn't say that in front of the driver.

"Can you do your seatbelt up please Sir, I'm obliged to make sure all passengers are safe." Levi rolled his eyes.

"We won't be safe with him in here..." Mikasa muttered after yanking Eren's hand away and glared darkly at the back of Levi's head. He looked back at her in anger as he did his seatbelt up. Eren sighed and shook his head at his lap. He was having to choose between Levi and Mikasa again.

When they got back to college, Mikasa pulled Eren through the doors. "Eren for God's sake, he's a fucking criminal! He could be a murderer! We have to report him!" She hissed as Levi came in after them, his eyes dark.

"I have never killed anyone but I'm tempted to start right now." Levi snarled and Eren cursed under his breath.

"For God's sake, the pair of you shut up. Mikasa, he's not dangerous, his mother died and his father left, he was on the streets since he was a kid! The worst he ever did was steal things, he never killed anyone!" Eren whispered, his eyes flashing in frustration.

"He still stole things and he could be lying!"

"Trust me, when he first told me this stuff, he was NOT lying!" Mikasa searched his eyes and they were bright with truth.

"I still don't trust him..." She muttered quietly and shot a glare in Levi's direction. "And I don't want you in that room together, I don't trust him near you..."

"Mikasa, we've been room sharing for 3 months now, it's fine." Eren said firmly. "All I am worried about right now is that you are both ok. Do you need a Doctor for your leg?"

"No, it's fine." She replied through gritted teeth, not taking her eyes off Levi even for a second. Her gaze drifted to his pocket and she saw the corner of a box. She reached out and snatched it. Looking down at it, she saw that it was cigarettes. Levi snatched them back, his eyes flashing with anger.

"Oi!"

"Why do you have those?" She yelled and Eren looked at Levi in shock.

"I didn't know you smoked, I've never seen you go out to do it and you don't smell of it, why do you have those...?"

"Does it matter?"

"Well yes, you're under-age!" Mikasa cried out.

"No, I'm 19, I can smoke you bitch." She looked at him in shock.

"W-what? I thought you were in our year! Eren, why are you sharing with someone from another year?"

"They ran out of rooms so they mixed a few years." Eren mumbled, still looking at Levi with a frown but the shorter male didn't meet his eyes as he shoved the cigarettes back in his pocket.

"Eren he's a bad influence!"

"Mikasa, loads of people smoke, now leave it... And if you tell ANYONE about what I told you about Levi, I will never and I mean NEVER forgive you, so don't you fucking dare." He turned to go up to his and Levi's room and the ravenette followed, casting a last glare at the still shocked Mikasa.

"Eren, it's not safe!" She called one last time but the two were gone.

"You weren't meant to see those..." Levi grumbled, looking away from Eren to the side.

"B-but you don't smell of smoke, you don't smoke, why do you have them?"  
"I need them."

"But why?" Eren whispered, his eyes sad.

"I used to smoke when I was on the streets but managed to break the habit when I was taken off of the streets, it was difficult but I did it." He grumbled, watching his feet as they went up the stairs.

"So why do you have them now? Please don't start again, it would be a huge mistake! A-and it's bad for you, Levi please don't!" He leaned closer to Levi and could smell the faint scent of nicotine. His heart fell. "You already have, haven't you?" He whispered, upset. "When? How long have you been doing it?" He asked and Levi nodded solemnly.  
"Don't copy me and start Jaeger, it's a horrible habit and I'm ashamed of it, but I just can't do this... I know I've seemed better since we talked but I was using these instead of my knife. I know you hate the cutting, but I was still having problems and it's this time of year that it all goes mad with the stuff about Isabel and Farlan, they died in December. I've been smoking since a couple of days after we talked but only a little bit when I could be descrete... I didn't have time to cover it up because I had one before I found Mikasa... I'm getting worse... I just can't do this anymore..." He grumbled.

"Please don't talk like that, it scares me when you talk like that because I get afraid that you'll do something stupid and I'll lose you! You say you can't do it, well I can't lose you!" Eren snatched up Levi's freezing hand, tears prickling his eyes. There was no reply from Levi and a tear rolled down Eren's red cheek. "How have I never smelt it on you before?"

"Because I always made sure to cover it up with anything before I saw you, washing, clean clothes, eating mints, I didn't want you to know Jaeger!" Eren sniffed as Levi led him into their room and he pulled his hand free from Eren's. The brunette had tears running down his face and Levi didn't look at him, he hated seeing Eren cry, it made him feel so guilty...

"I know it's a bad thing Eren and I hate myself for buying them but I really need them..." Levi said softly as he sat on the edge of his bed with his head hung low.

"N-No you don't! There are o-other things that you could do or turn to, t-talk to me, y-you don't need drugs to help, they don't help!" Eren spluttered through his tears as he shut the door behind them. The teen sniffled and sunk onto the bed beside Levi. He reached out and pulled the box from Levi's pocket with shaking hands. He looked down at it and his tears dripped down onto the packaging.  
"And don't even think about taking them and throwing them away because I _will_ get more, the only thing you would achieve would be making me angry and feel betrayed."

"But Levi, i-it wouldn't be betrayal because I'd be helping you!"

"That's not what betrayal means Jaeger, it doesn't matter whether it would be helping me, it would be the fact you did it against my wishes." Levi grumbled and took the box off of Eren, stuffing it back into his pocket.

"S-so you never got better... Y-you may have done things less b-but... It is a substitute for... for this?" Eren pointed down at Levi's arm. "Because I d-don't know which is w-worse to be honest." Levi sighed and pulled Eren into his shoulder, wrapping his arms around him. Eren sniffled into his shoulder and tears streamed down his cheeks as his nose was filled with not just the clean Levi smell he loved, but a mix of that and cigarettes. He sobbed into his shoulder and Levi let out a deep breath, resting his cheek on Eren's hair as the boy cried into his hoodie.

"I'm sorry Eren... I really am. But I just can't do it."

 **(A/N:) Wow ok, that was a long one... Um yeah- *avoids thrown objects* hey, I'm sorry ok? Sorry, it had to be done, things will get bad from here guys, hang on to your seats... I'm such a mean writer XD**

 **Thanks so much for reading! Love you all, I'm so glad you seem to be liking it! :D More coming tomorrow maybe, byee!**


	34. Chapter 34: Worries

Levi let out a sigh of relief and watched as a puff of silvery grey smoke went along with it. He tapped the end of his cigarette, letting loose pieces of ash fall to the floor. He felt the relief as he took a draw from it and he felt his lungs being wrapped by a warm blanket... But he knew it was wrong. A blanket that was hurting the one person he loved, a blanket of death, a blanket of drugs to conceal all his feelings. He breathed out slowly, listening to the quiet pop his dry lips made as they let go of the cigarette. He watched the smoke curl and dissipate on the freezing winter breeze. It was illuminated in the light of a street lamp against the still dark December sky. Levi hadn't smoked in a number of years and he'd forgotten what it was like. The smell of the smoke swirled through his nostrils and he breathed out again, looking down the street sadly. He knew he shouldn't be doing this, but he couldn't not. He felt relief on every breath he took from the damned death instrument. After about ten more minutes, Levi pushed the end of his cigarette into the wall and chucked the extinguished stub into the gutter. He sighed, putting his hands in his pockets. He scuffed his feet sadly and turned to go back into the college. When he went back up to his room, he saw the look of sadness and worry in Eren's eyes with a hint of disappointment as he entered and he sighed, looking away. Eren watched him, the smell of smoke following Levi into the room as the door was shut. Levi didn't bother hiding it anymore, Eren knew and there was nothing he could do about it. It was early, about 6am but Eren had heard Levi go out of the room and had sat up and cried for a little bit before just sitting there. It was the day after the incident with the man in the alley and Mikasaa, and Eren was worried about what would happen with his sister now... Had he lost her? His eyes followed Levi to his bed and watched him sadly as he sat on it with his knees up and just looked at his hands in his lap.

Later that day, there was a knock on their door and Eren sighed and picked up his bag from the end of his bed before trudging to the door. He looked back at Levi who was still sitting there with his head hung. "I'll see you later Levi..." He whispered before opening the door to Armin. He shut the door behind him.

"Are you ok Eren?" The blonde asked quietly as they headed for their class and Eren wasn't even going to pretend that he was. He was definitely not ok. He was not even _remotely_ ok. He wasn't sure if he'd ever be ok again.

"No. No I'm not..." He grumbled quietly and Armin sighed.

"Is this about yesterday's escapade with Mikasa? She told me about everything that happened last night." Eren's head snapped up.

"Everything? What's everything? What did she say?" Armin was taken aback by his tone and looked up at him nervously.

"Sh-she just said she was attacked down an alley and Levi was there! She said that he knew the guy that attacker her and you didn't listen to her when you came back here! That's all, she didn't say anything else!"

"Hmph..." Eren turned away again. So it seemed she hadn't spilled Levi's secrets then, that was a relief... But it wasn't just what had happened that was making him so upset. It was everything. Levi's cutting, the way he talked as if he was going to kill himself, the way he was smoking again, the way he still hadn't forgotten the army application form, the fact that he was constantly having to choose between the love of his life and his sister, how helpless he was, how useless he was when it came to helping Levi... Everything.

"So is that what's wrong? Will you tell me what else happened because there was obviously something else judging by the way you're acting, besides, your side of the story will be different to Mikasa's."

"Everything."

"Everything? What's everything?" Armin repeated Eren and the brunette bit his tongue.

"It meant what I said... and I don't want to talk about it."

"Alright... But you know that if you need me, all you have to do is ask, yeah?"

"Mmhmm..." Eren murmured in response. What was going to happen now? Was he going to lose both his sister and Levi one way or another? Did Mikasa now hate him so had he lost her that way? Was Levi going to end up dying? Was Levi going to end up being so consumed by everything that he would just go silent forever and Eren would lose him? Would he leave the college and end up dying in a war somewhere? Would the smoking get worse and he'd die? Would he actually try killing himself? Eren was terrified. He didn't want to lose either of them and all the possible ways that it could happen mortified him, and made him feel sick to the stomach.

 **(A/N:) Ok so as you can probably tell, there won't be much fluff for quite a long while... Thanks for reading, hope you are enjoying! :D**


	35. Chapter 35: Eren's Story

Eren lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling. It was pitch black and the bleak silence was deafening. There was not the usual dim light from Levi's phone to his right on the other bed nor the comforting sound of his quiet breathing or the occasional rustle of sheets as Levi shifted on top of his bed. The clean smell that Eren loved was no longer there, but that didn't mean the room or Levi were any less clean... The smell had just been smothered by another scent. A smell that made Eren feel sick because of what he knew it was and what it was doing to his room-mate. The strong, musky smell of nicotine. It was 2am and Eren couldn't sleep, he just stared blankly at the ceiling. It was the 10th of December, the night was dark and cold and the scent of incoming snow was in the crisp winter air, yet Levi was nowhere to be seen... But Eren knew exactly where he was. The ravenette had also picked up another habit: Drinking. Eren had seen him come back sometimes looking a mess with dark circles round his eyes and he could see that he was obviously stoned. So... Levi was cutting, smoking and drinking away his feelings... Or at least trying to. Eren knew that these things couldn't actual get rid of Levi's feelings, they would only cover them up or ease them for a short period of time before making them worse again. Was this going to be it for Levi? Eren knew that this was eventually going to kill him if he carried on and never stopped. He knew that if Levi carried on, he _would_ get killed by the things he was doing. He knew he would lose him. Eren barely saw him anymore and when he did he was either having a hangover, smoking, cutting or silent and wouldn't speak to him. Maybe he had already lost him. He was just waiting for the inevitable final blow that one two many puffs on a cigarette would deliver, one too many drinks could cause, one cut too deep could induce. A tear slid from Eren's bright green eye down his cheek as he lay there. Levi was tearing himself apart piece by piece, and Eren could do nothing but sit and watch from the sidelines as Levi slowly killed himself. When it came to Levi, Eren was useless. He was just a spectator. A spectator watching a losing fight from behind the safety of unbreakable, soundproof glass, unable to interfere or protect the player, all words unheard. It was Levi versus his addictions now... And the addictions were winning. Eren was waiting for the day the scoreboard would read the words: Game over.

 **(A/N:) Hey everyone, I am SO sorry that I haven't uploaded, the Christmas Holidays have finished so now I have much less time to upload ;-; Sorry this chapter happened to be such a short one too... I hope you all had a happy New Year and thank you very much for reading! :) Bye!**


	36. Chapter 36: Levi's Story

The deafening smash of breaking glass resounded through Levi's ears as he threw his empty bottle at the wall. "Why does everything have to be this way? I'm so fed up with everything and everyone!" He yelled in anger down the empty, deserted street, his voice echoing off of the walls and ringing in his ears. His chest heaved as he bellowed in anger and the cold wind blew through his ebony hair. "Nothing I try works!" He kicked at the brickwork and didn't care when his foot started to hurt painfully from the impact. Leaning his hands on the wall, he hung his head. "Why am I even bothering?" He whispered to himself. "It would be so easy just to finish this all now, so what's stopping me? Am I too weak? Or is it Eren...?" He sighed, closing his eyes as the harsh breeze stung at his already freezing red cheeks. His head was pounding from lack of sleep. He was so fed up with everything, even though Eren had insisted that being bi was ok, Levi had still been having fights with himself over it, one half of him was on Eren's side, saying that there was nothing wrong with liking guys and girls, but the other more powerful half of him was beating him down, telling him that he was disgusting. The guilt of what happened to Isabel and Farlan was always strong in winter, especially in December because that's when they died. Levi was still haunted by it and hated the fact that he could have stopped it. He also thought about how he could have saved so many other people while he was on the streets as a kid, so many people... He knew he wasn't a weak fighter and he'd been brought up to be strong, but over the last days Levi had felt like he was the weakest person on Earth, incapable of anything. He felt guilty for his smoking, he felt guilty for his drinking, he felt guilty for his cutting, but the more he felt guilty, the more he did it... And so, the cycle circled in a continuous loop, getting worse and worse each time it went around. The amount of cigarettes he smoked a day increased, the drinks he drank a week, the amount of cuts he sliced into his already scarred wrists. He'd thrown up numerous times in the street over that past horrific week from smoking and drinking too much, he'd almost been hit by a car, he'd been losing touch with reality more and more. Levi knew that this couldn't continue but he didn't know how to stop now, it had gone too far... And he didn't want to – but at the same time, he did. He wanted to stop, for Eren. Eren was the only thing he really cared about anymore. The ravenette loved the feeling of relief every time he let out his pain with a cut of his knife, but it only ever lasted for a moment before dissipating again. He savoured the way when he smoked he felt like he was getting rid of his problems, but that too didn't last long. Levi liked the way that drinking made him forget for a while, but afterwards the pain would be back, more intense and painful than ever... He didn't know how to stop. It was the only way out he knew of. Levi had never hated himself as such, he'd never really thought about it until he was about 15, he was just another boy left on the streets, having to fight for his life... But as he got older, he found more and more things that seemed to be wrong with him that separated him from everyone else, and he made bad decisions that haunted him forever. All the people he could have saved, all the things he could have done. Now what was he? He had been a thug, a smoker and a thief back then... So what was he now? Well, he was a smoker again, that was for sure. He was an alcoholic too and a self harmer that sneaked off to alley ways in the night to try and get rid of his pitiful problems. In other words, he was a Nothing. He wanted to be someone. He wanted nothing more than to stop all of these stupid habits and stay with Eren forever or at least for as long as he could... But how could he do that when he couldn't speak to him because he felt so guilty for what he was doing? The brunette was obviously being just as badly affected as Levi was from his actions, just in a different way. Levi needed Eren's help, but he wasn't sure if the teen would be willing to give it anymore... No, he didn't need help, he could do it himself! Getting help was for the weak, as well as crying. That's what he'd been brought up to think... But he didn't know if he could stay on that path any longer. He needed Eren and he knew deep inside that Eren needed him. He just didn't know how to ask for help. "Help me Eren... I need you." He whispered to himself.

 **(A/N:) Hey! Thanks for reading, I am doing my best to upload consistently still :) I may not be able to update every day from now on as 1. I am running out of chapters, and 2. I haven't got much time to do so... So I will try and upload at LEAST once a week for you :) I hope you are enjoying the story and thanks for reading, your reviews mean a lot to me :) Byee!**


	37. Chapter 37: Mikasa's Story

Mikasa sat at the small desk in her and Annie's room, looking down at her piece of work even though it was 2am. Annie was out in the gym already and Mikasa was left alone to look down at her paper, but she didn't read the words printed in ink on the sheet. She watched droplets splash onto the words and the ink started to run. Everything was so wrong and she didn't know what to believe, think, or do. Where did she stand with Eren? She was terrified for him, she'd seen Levi the way he was and she was starting to have her doubts on her previous opinions. Was he really bad or had he told Eren the truth? She'd seen the scars on his wrists when he'd been drunk one time and not thought to cover them up properly, she'd seen him standing smoking in the street, she'd even seen him crying out there once. Was it her fault? Was she like the tears dropping onto her paper right now? Eren the paper and Levi the words, fine and perfect together until a drop of water splashed onto it, crinkling the paper and smudging the ink. Whatever problems Levi had had, she'd made worse. Eren had obviously helped him and now she'd broken them both. What was going on in Levi's mind, maybe she was only a small part of what was going on, but she was certainly a part of it. There was no escaping that fact. But what could she do? Eren wasn't the only one who had noticed Levi's habits and she was worried that this would kill him, it wasn't just Eren that thought that. He needed help but she didn't know if he even wanted to stop, maybe his aim WAS to die. But what would happen to Eren if Levi died? Would Eren turn to cutting? Drugs? Alcohol? ...Suicide? She didn't want to lose Eren, she loved him too much. He was her brother and she cared dearly about him. She couldn't lose him. She couldn't. Then it would be HER to turn to those things and the habits Levi had started would go along a chain. She dabbed at the damp paper with her sleeve but she couldn't take back the damage the tear had done. The ink was still smudged and the paper crinkled. Had she permanently damaged Levi? And Eren for that matter? What was going to happen now? She felt guilty. She felt confused. She felt helpless and so did the other two.

The three of them all felt alone and separate from the others.

Levi couldn't go to Eren for help and he felt Mikasa hated him.

Mikasa felt she'd hurt them both and was terrified that she'd lost Eren.

Eren didn't know what he could do for Levi and he didn't know where he stood with Mikasa after the other night.

They were all alone.

Alone.

 **(A/N:) Hey everyone! Thanks everyone for your AMAZING reviews, I am glad you are liking my story, your feedback means a LOT! I was actually going to mention this the other week and wrote it but deleted it: Paragraphs don't work. I don't know why, but every time I try and space paragraphs out more, deletes them and there's nothing I can do. Do you want me to use lines to break them? Or have a symbol on a line to break them e.g. o.O.o? That's just a random example lol. Do let me know! Thanks :). Sorry I have only just updated, I was ill and stuff... But I've uploaded now :). Thanks for reading, byee!**


	38. Chapter 38: Help

In the morning (10th December) Levi trudged back into his and Eren's room. His room-mate hadn't got a wink of sleep, he'd laid on his bed all night crying and thinking of all the horrible possibilities that could happen until his eyes ran dry and there were no more tears to cry. He glanced over at the door from where he was hugging his duvet, pretending that it was Levi, wishing that he could hug him like that and make him happy again. Levi met his gaze sadly for a split second before shutting the door and sitting down on his bed. Eren watched him with a harsh lump in his throat. The smell of alcohol and smoke followed Levi into the room and wafted over Eren as he walked past. He looked at Levi as he hung his head. His hair was a windswept mess, he hadn't slept in days and his eyes were black around them from both lack of sleep and drinking far too much. He hadn't drunk much that night because he'd run out of money. He was craving it and wasn't drunk, so was unable to try and forget his problems. His head was pounding painfully with tiredness. Seeing Levi like this broke Eren's heart. With a sad sigh, Eren hid his face in his bedsheets and screwed his eyes up. After a couple of minutes, he heard Levi's quiet voice speak up.

"Eren, do you hate me?" His voice whispered and Eren peeked over his dark green duvet in shock. This was the first time he'd heard his room-mate speak to him in days. At least the first time while he was sober...

"Of course I don't..." Eren replied quietly, his voice slightly muffled by his sheets.

"But I drink, I smoke, I cut... How can you _not_ hate me..." The ravenette's voice was barely a whisper and Eren swallowed. He sounded so defeated. He didn't sound like the Levi he knew and loved at all.

"Why would that mean I hate you? You're still the Levi I love..." Eren whispered sadly although that wasn't strictly true, he was losing him the Levi he used to be... But he did still love him.

"But we both know that's not true, don't we Eren..." Levi mumbled, glancing up at him through his messy black locks. His hair was longer than usual as he hadn't bothered to cut it because of the mood he'd been in the past week. Eren swallowed again, searching what he could see of Levi's sad grey eyes beneath his hair.

"You still are him, you're just hiding him behind all that alcohol..." Eren said softly, pushing himself up into a sitting position. "You're still in there Levi..."

"Hmph... No, I think we've lost him." Levi muttered sadly and Eren sighed, shaking his head.

"No we haven't because it was him that asked if I hated him a moment ago. Now I want to ask him the same question, do you hate me?"

"Why would I hate you...?" Levi frowned in confusion.

"Because I have been so distant, I should have tried harder to help you the last few days... I know you told me not to take your cigarettes because you'd feel betrayed but you only said that because you wanted them, and you knew I wouldn't take them if I thought you'd hate me..." Eren replied solemnly. "But I was stupid, I should have taken them anyway, because a Levi that hates me is better than a dead one..." Levi swallowed, looking away. He'd feared Eren would be worried about that. "I know you said you'd just go and buy more but I should have followed you no matter what and done whatever it took to stop you... But I didn't. I was selfish and weak. I should have stopped you, this is my fault. It's my fault this has all happened..." Levi shook his head in answer and it ached with tiredness as he did so.

"No you brat, this is not your fault... It's mine, I'm the reason I'm doing this to myself, not you and I told you not to stop me..." He muttered and Eren watched him with sadness in his eyes.

"I want to help you Levi..." He whispered and there was silence for a number of moments. Long, painful moments.

"...And I want your help."

"You do?" Eren perked up and sat up straight in shock, looking at Levi with wide green eyes.

"But..."

"But...?" He asked nervously, gripping the sheets tightly in his fists.

"But I don't think I can stop... And I don't want to stop, but I know I have to."

"Levi you've only been getting bad for a week but you did it so quickly it's affected you badly. It's not killing you yet but I can see that if you carry on, it _will_ kill you, it's plain to see – and I can't bear to lose you. I don't want to sit here and watch as you murder yourself slowly." Eren's voice cracked as he spoke and he shuffled to the left on his bed, making room for Levi. He patted the space beside him. "Come on Lee, I still love you and I want to help, come here..."

"Don't call me that infernal name..."

"Fine, _Levi_ come here... Please?" He asked softly and Levi sighed after a few moments and got slowly to his feet. He perched on the edge of Eren's bed but Eren tugged his arm and gestured for him to sit beside him properly. With a tired huff, Levi did as Eren wanted. He wanted help, he didn't want to ruin it and he would do his best to follow what Eren told him to do. Eren felt tears prickle the back of his eyes at the strong smell of tobacco and beer. How much had he been drinking and smoking? His heart thumped in his chest as he realised he didn't know how much Levi had actually been consuming over the past week. "L-Levi... how much have you smoked this week...?" He asked quietly and Levi shifted awkwardly, not looking at the younger brunette. "Levi...?"  
"About 15 a day..." He admitted, his voice barely a whisper.

"15?!" Eren cried out in shock. "Levi oh my God! How long has it been now? 8 days, yeah? That's what..." Eren hurriedly worked the maths out in his flustered head. "110! Levi!"

"120..." Levi corrected Eren's calculations. Tears erupted from the brunette's eyes. "H-have you been sick?" Levi nodded silently in answer and Eren grabbed his hand. "You should have told me! 120 fucking cigarettes Levi!"

"I started at only a couple on day one but I just couldn't stop as I remembered what it was like and on day two it was 6 and then on day 3 it was 10 and then from there on it's been 15 or 16 a day..."

"That's about what... that's about 100 then, that's still terrible! Oh my God, Levi have you been being sick and have you had a really bad cough? God knows what's happened to your lungs!" Levi shrugged in reply and said nothing. "H-how many drinks have you had?" Eren stammered through his tears.

"Last night I only had one and only 2 the night before because I have run out of money, that's why I'm not drunk but before then I was having about 4 full bottles..." Eren felt faint.

"Th-that's about – er, 27! Y-You need to see a Doctor, how many times have you been sick?"

"I've lost count..."

"Oh my God Lee..." Eren whispered, his hands shaking as he looked at the shorter male beside him. Levi didn't meet his eyes. "Y-you HAVE to stop, y-you could have actually died this week and I didn't even know it was this bad... Did you faint...?" Levi responded with a small nod and Eren's teeth chattered and his whole body shivered and shook as he realised the horrific seriousness of the situation. "How many times?"  
"Almost every night..."

"W-where?"

"In a random empty alley..." Levi muttered in answer and more tears spilled down Eren's cheeks. He tried to pull himself together. After a minute he cleared his throat.

"L-Levi... I'm going to help you and by Christmas you are going to have cut down a lot from that because this cannot continue..."

"But I'll have to wean off of it though..."

"I know, but today you're having no drinks and 10 cigarettes instead of 15, do you understand?" Eren said commandingly. He didn't care if Levi was going to grow to hate him. He was taking control. He was NOT going to lose him.

"But I need a d-"

"NO. Not today. Tomorrow you can have one but not today." He was not going to lose Levi. He'd only just got him and he wasn't ready to give him up. "You're having too much, if you continue like this, it will kill you." What Levi said next made Eren's mouth dry and he didn't know what to say. He went numb.

"Maybe I don't care if it does."

 **(A/N:) Hey guys! Thanks for all your reviews, I'm trying out a few of your suggestions about the paragraphs :) Thanks for reading, glad you all seem to be enjoying it! I'll maybe update again tomorrow... :)**


	39. Chapter 39: Taking Control

_'Maybe I don't care if it does' …_ Levi's words repeated round and round in Eren's head, buzzing in his ears like angry wasps. Eren had demanded that Levi give him all of his cigarettes after that but Levi hadn't obliged straight away. It took quite a lot of urging until he pulled them from his pocket and handed Eren a pack.

"And the rest." Eren had prompted until Levi finally got up and pulled another from under his mattress and tossed it at his room-mate.

"Happy now?" Levi had said but Eren wasn't sure if he could ever be happy again. _'Maybe I don't care if it does'._

Eren sat on his bed, looking down at the offending packets of cigarettes lying on the mattress in front of him with disgust and hatred. He'd already given Levi one and he was outside with it now. Eren pulled the remaining 3 he was going to permit Levi that day and stuffed the stupid things into his pocket before getting up and going to his drawers. He had nowhere else to put them, he just hoped that Levi would keep his side of the deal and not go looking for them. Eren hid them in the middle of his jumbled, messy clothes that he couldn't be bothered to fold. There weren't many in there at all, even less that normal as Eren had had to go and take his and Levi washing to the dry cleaners. Usually it was Levi that did it because he was obsessive about making sure they were clean, but he hadn't exactly been in the mood to do it that week. So Eren had been left to do it. Eren slammed the drawer shut and glared at it with flashing eyes. He knew that what Levi had said would now haunt him forever and he would always be worried that he'd deliberately end his life. Eren shrugged on his hoodie and hauled his heavy rucksack over his shoulder before opening the door. Levi had been skipping classes over the past horrendous week as well which really wasn't like him and Eren would do the same now if he had to. Levi was his priority now. He had a lecture scheduled now but he was going to see Levi and stay with him if he felt it necessary. He wasn't ready to lose him. As the teen walked down the corridor and headed down the stairs, he wondered how this was going to end. Was he going to be successful? Would Levi actually be able to quit in the end? Or would Eren's efforts be for nothing and he would carry on, eventually killing himself? Eren felt a lump form in his throat and he shivered at the thought but he shook his head, trying to get rid of it. He would do his best. Levi WOULD quit, with Eren's help, he would. Eren was determined and he wouldn't stop trying. The brunette headed out of the college and walked down the street, turning left down the deserted alley he knew Levi now used for smoking. He trudged down to the black hooded figure at the end, wisps of smoke rising into the air. He leant on the wall beside him.

"You may not care if it kills you, but I do and I won't let it happen. I can't lose you, I just can't... I don't know what I would do without you." Levi just grunted in response and shook his head beneath his hood, taking another draw on the cigarette before breathing out and letting the smoke curl around them both before disappearing. Eren watched it, the smell rushing up his nose. He hated the fact that Levi was doing this. The ravenette tapped his cigarette, letting loose ash fall to the floor.

"Is that so?" He sighed, popping the end of the cigarette back between his cracked, cold lips.

"Yes. It is." Eren said quietly but firmly. "I can't imagine life without you now, I don't know what I'd do if you left me for good..." He whispered. The scent of the cigarette was disgusting to Eren, and he could taste the foul odour on his tongue.

"I don't think that's true at all." Levi muttered, pushing off the wall and walking away from Eren, leaning on the graffiti smothered bins a couple of metres away from him. "I think you'd feel like that at first and you'd be upset... But after what, a few days, maybe a week, you'd realise how little an impact I made on your life and you'll realise how much easier and better it is without me. You'd be back to normal with Armin and Mikasa, you wouldn't have to keep your room so tidy, you wouldn't have to get upset or hurt by some moody twat and you wouldn't be skipping class to go and see him either." Eren swallowed, shaking his head as he watched the hooded figure that was his room-mate and boyfriend take a puff on his cigarette and casually talk about what life would be like if he died. It was heartbreaking, he'd never wanted to stand and watch someone do that – EVER.

"Th-that's not true..." Were all the words Eren could muster. He didn't know what to say to that. Some of it was true but there was so much more. True he wouldn't be skipping to go and talk to him, but he would be skipping classes because he would be too upset to go. Mikasa wouldn't be the same, Eren would be more distant and he'd lose friends, his room would be cold and lonely with only the faint smell of smoke as a memory of who he'd once shared it with. To tell the truth, Eren would be completely broken. He'd probably resort to cutting like Levi in the end and Eren was well aware of this fact. He'd probably end up exactly like Levi was now, addicted to death. "I would feel like it was my fault and I would _never_ forgive myself. You have no idea how much I'd miss you, do you? You really don't! Levi, I fucking love you, ok? This isn't just some stupid crush anymore, this isn't some kid watching someone across the library anymore, I am in love with you and I will do _anything_ for you and I mean _anything._ I am not ready to let you go and if you died I'd probably follow you!" To his complete surprise, Levi smirked at that and Eren wanted to punch him. "You think that's funny, huh? Yeah, talking about you committing suicide is real funny, isn't it." Eren snapped and glared fire at him but Levi just smirked again and shook his head.

"That's not what I'm laughing at."

"Then what are you laughing at?"

"You." He sighed and took a last draw from his cigarette before extinguishing the left over stub. Eren wanted to cry.

"It's not funny, I was being serious!"

"It's _because_ you were being serious Eren." Levi confused him so much, he still didn't understand his mind sometimes.

"Well I'm sorry, I don't get the joke." Eren snapped.

"Go on, go to class you brat."

"Don't call me a brat like this is nothing, because it's not! I'm not leaving because you are unpredictable. I don't want to find you dead afterwards!"

"Fine, I promise I won't, 'shoot myself' or whatever, happy now? Now go." Eren's eyes widened and he clenched his fists.

"How are you being so casual about this?! You're treating it like a joke! I'm staying right here you fucker."

"Fine, you do that but you'll get very bored seeing as I'm just going to stand here. At this rate it won't be me ending up dead, it will be you freezing from the cold. It's snowing you idiot." Eren blinked and looked up in shock. How had he not noticed that? There was very light snow falling down from the grey clouds and they tingled his cold face and melted on the ground as soon as they touched it. There with small crystals on his eyelashes and he blinked them away.

"I go wherever you go, so if I'm going inside, you're coming with me. So? What is it to be?" Eren watched him and Levi rolled his eyes before turning to go.

"Fine."

"See, I know you still care..." Eren mumbled, turning his glare on the cigarette stub. Rushing up to his room-mate's side, he made sure to thoroughly crush the stub with his foot in hatred. He shivered and looked down at the shorter male, still hidden by his hood. He would stick with him through anything.

 **(A/N:) Hey guys, thanks for all of your reviews, I just love reading your opinions and guesses for what will happen next in the story! Glad you're all enjoying it, thank you SOOO much for reading this far! There's loooads more to come. :) Bye for now!**


	40. Chapter 40: Struggle

That day, Levi used all 10 of his cigarettes and wanted more but Eren didn't let him have any. He was also desperate for a drink and in the evening he had yelled and shoved Eren, asking for money. This was completely out of character for him, he never begged for money from anyone and Eren knew that Levi wasn't really in control, he was in a state of panic... He was relying on the alcohol and cigarettes and felt lost and terrified without them; but Eren put his foot down and didn't give Levi any money to buy any. He was obviously in need of it badly and was craving it but he had to stop. It was essential.

On the second day, (11th December), Eren told Levi he could have 9 cigarettes and only one drink. Levi had used all of his cigarettes in the morning and Eren had walked into their room to catch him rummaging through Eren's drawers to find more in the afternoon. The disappointment etched across Eren's face had been painful to see, but Levi felt like he needed them. The brunette had snatched the cigarettes from his grip and taken them off somewhere else to hide outside of the room and Levi kicked at the wall in anger, earning angry bangs from the other side of the wall from 2 other students yelling at him to stop. They'd heard a lot of shouting from Eren and Levi's room over the months and they hated it.

On the third day, Levi suffered from an incredibly bad headache because he needed more alcohol but Eren yet again only allowed him one drink and 8 cigarettes. He'd yelled at Eren but for once, Eren had stood firm and would have taken anything, verbal or physical abuse, he didn't care – He had to help Levi even if he didn't like it. Usually when Levi got that angry, Eren would have just given in to him, but he didn't. He was in control for once.

On the fourth day, Levi had had enough and he hammered his fist on Armin's door. The blonde had opened the door, fear in his large blue eyes.

"Where has Eren hidden my cigarettes?" He'd ordered and Armin had swallowed, glancing at Connie. "Where are they!" Levi shouted and Armin tried to shut the door on him but he was far stronger than Armin and he shoved it open before it was even close to shutting. He had grabbed Armin, held him against the wall and urged him for an answer under threat of being hurt. Connie had rushed from the room to get Eren at the speed of light. Levi made a lunge for him to stop him but had been unsuccessful. "Tell me right now Blondie, before Eren and Connie get back or you're fucking dead." Armin and Connie had been warned about this. They knew that Levi was in desperate need and didn't mean to do this but it didn't mean it was any less scary. They just knew he didn't really know what he was doing. Eren had given Armin the cigarettes and he'd hidden them under Connie's mattress. Levi was about to deliver a hard punch to Armin's face when Eren arrived and dragged him off of him in the nick of time. The two started to fight and a crowd of students gathered in the corridor to watch as the two males swung punches at one another. It was mostly Levi swinging the punches and Eren trying to stop him. In the end Eren was left with nasty bruises down his arms and on his chest and a very angry Levi... Luckily, Mikasa hadn't seen the fight. She would probably hear about it though...

It was the fifth day (14th December) and Levi was silently crying on his bed, concealing his tears behind his hood. He needed a drink, he needed the cigarettes, it wasn't just the drive of addiction that was making him desperately want them, he himself really felt he needed them because more and more guilt from the past was building up and he hated it. On top of all his usual guilt, he'd threatened to punch Armin and he'd fought Eren yesterday, something he had never wanted to do – but it had still happened. Eren was sitting on his bed, unable to sleep due to the events of the day before. He also didn't trust Levi not to go back to Armin's room or run out of the entire bloody building. His arms and chest throbbed painfully from all the punches Levi had swung at him, but yet again he'd held his ground. Even if he was suffering for it now, it had been worth it. A beating wasn't going to stop him, he didn't care if Levi hated him after all this, he needed to stop. It was 5am when Levi got off of his bed, still hiding underneath his slightly overly long hair and his hood. "I need a cigarette." Grumbled the ravenette, not showing his tear-stained face. He felt too guilty to even look at his room-mate. Eren nodded solemnly in silence and reached into his pocket, pulling out one of Levi's supply for the day. Eren just hoped that Levi wouldn't try and fight him for them again... He offered it to him. "And the rest." Levi muttered and Eren swallowed.

"No, not all at once..."

"Now."

"No... I'm in charge of keeping them for you and I say no." Eren said quietly but firmly. To tell the truth, he was a bit scared of Levi, but his love for him was so much stronger than his fear.

"I said, give them to me." Levi's voice was a soft, angry whisper now but Eren shook his head. "Don't make me have to get them off of you myself..."

"You don't really want to do that, I know you don't..." Eren whispered, rubbing his sore arms. He was right, Levi didn't want to do it. It was the last thing he wanted to do. But the thing he wanted most right now was the rest of the cigarettes.

"Oh fuck off you fucking brat..." He growled and went out of the door, slamming it behind him, even though it was 5am.

...Later that day, it went too far and Eren was left kneeling in the snow staring at the train tracks, tears streaming down his cheeks, not knowing what to do...

 **(A/N:) Hey guys! Sorry I didn't update sooner! ...Left with a little bit of a cliff hanger at the end there, sorry guys ;-; You'll have to wait for the next chapter to find out what happens... Thank you for all your wonderful reviews and I will hopefully update soon! :) Bye!**


	41. Chapter 41: Giving Chase

At about 3pm, Eren stood with Armin and Sasha in the corridor next to Sasha's room as they had no lectures. He was talking with them when out of the corner of his eye, Eren saw someone dressed in black outside in the snow. He glanced out of the window and frowned. His eyes went wide as he saw Levi getting a cigarette from someone in the street and he borrowed their lighter before pulling up his hood and heading down to the alley next to the college. Without a word, Eren sprinted down the corridor as fast as his legs could carry him. He leapt down the stairs and headed for the main doors, throwing them open. He gasped as freezing cold air hit him and a cloud of snow flurried around his face, blurring his vision. Luckily he wasn't carrying a bag to slow him and he ran towards the alley. Levi had used all of his cigarettes for the day, he shouldn't be having anymore, let alone getting them from random people; Eren had to stop him. He skidded through the wide fluff that was about 2 inches thick and came to a slippery halt at the end of the alley. He sprinted down it towards the hooded figure. "Levi! What are you doing, stop!" Eren cried out and Levi looked up when he heard him, his eyes set in a dark glare. When the brunette got to him, he tried to snatch away his cigarette but Levi moved his hand away just in time. "Levi give it to me!"

"Why should I?"

"Because you're meant to be stopping!"  
"Just get out of my face Eren!" He snapped back at him, eyes flashing. Eren shook his head adamantly, making another lunge for the cigarette. This time he accidentally hit Levi's arm in the wrist and he let go of it, letting it fall down to the snow covered floor as if he'd been badly burned. He'd been cutting again. "Ah! Eren, what the fuck! Just stop following me and leave me the fuck alone! I hate you, just piss off!" He shoved Eren in the shoulders and the brunette stumbled back, nearly falling into the slippery slush. Levi clenched his fists and kicked the cigarette angrily before turning to run back out of the alley. Eren followed suit and chased him out into the street. _Not this again..._ He ran after his room-mate, the snow crunching loudly under his freezing feet. Flakes spun around him, covered his hair and got stuck on his eyelashes as he sprinted. Levi ran down the street but when Eren was passionate about something, he was always incredibly determined and he sprinted with all his might after the ravenette, his eyes flashing and his teeth clenched. They ran past people doing their Christmas shopping and past children playing in the snow at the park. Eren's face was red and raw, his hands sore and numb. He skidded in the ice and fell down onto the ground, scraping his hands on the ground, making them even redder and grazing them badly, but he got right back up and carried on running. Usually he would have gone completely red, tried to act casual, and walked off feeling awkward because he fell, but he didn't care right now, he needed to get to Levi. God knew where he was going or what he was going to do. He chased him through the town for about 10 minutes straight, gasping for breath. Eventually, Levi looked back over his shoulder as he ran towards... The train station. Eren watched him, his eyes wide in horror. Levi ran through the large glass doors, disappearing inside and Eren sped up. Eren didn't know whether Levi was going to get on a train... Or jump in front of one.

 **(A/N:) Thanks for reading! Hope you are still enjoying it, wow chapter 41, if you're this far you've read a lot... :) Thank you again! Bye!**


	42. Chapter 42: Will No One Help Me?

Eren's heart thumped violently in his chest, his hair streaming out behind him as he ran as fast as he could. Even though he was sprinting at the fastest speed his body would go, the world seemed to be in slow motion; even the snowflakes were taking their time to fall. No, no, no, please say Levi was planning on leaving on a train and wasn't planning on jumping on the tracks. Eren couldn't predict Levi's actions anymore, the man was in such a bad state. Eren threw open the doors and skidded into the ticket office. He saw Levi running out onto the platform and in his fist that was raw from cold, was a ticket. Eren could have fainted in relief. This was far better than the other idea – but this was also terrible. He had no idea where Levi was going or whether he'd come back! What if Levi took the train and then jumped onto the tracks at another station just to make sure Eren didn't see? That idea was horrible. Levi had used the ticket machines but there was no way of seeing what ticket he'd got... So Eren ran to the man behind glass that was sitting at a computer printing people tickets and he looked up in shock as an incredibly flustered looking, snow covered teen pushed two people out of his way to get to the front.

"Oi! Get back in the line!"

"P-please sir, can you trace the machines? I need to know where that man was going, the one dressed in black, he's my fri-"

"I don't know what you're up to boy but I cannot give you information on other people. I don't know what you are planning on or whether you really know him and I would be breaking the rules to give you it! No, get back in line and go to the other queue, get out!" He glared at Eren and Eren's eyes flashed with anger. This man was holding him up, he needed to get to Levi! He ran from the line and onto the platform. The man behind the glass hurriedly pulled a phone down from the wall and contacted security to watch him as he wasn't sure what the teen would do.

Eren ran over to Levi and gripped him by the shoulders, his eyes wide with panic. "What do you think you're doing, you can't go! I-I won't know where you are, what you're doing, whether you'll come back, wh-"

"Eren get off!" Levi shoved Eren off of him.

"Where is your ticket for? Give it to me, you're not going! Why are you going?"

"To get away from people like you, now piss off!" Eren's chest ached painfully and he felt a lump form in his throat as Levi walked away from him. He felt tears well in his eyes. He fumbled through his pockets, desperate for money and he fell to his knees when he found none. He couldn't even get a ticket just to get on the train and follow Levi... He knelt there in the snow with his head hung in defeat before snapping his head back up again. No. He wasn't done! He would not let this happen! He scrambled to his feet, his knees wet from the freezing snow. He hoped the trains would be cancelled because of ice on the tracks or whatever, but he doubted that they would. He looked up at the train time board, but the times were all completely messed up and there was a notice on it saying that the times were not correct because the snow had slowed certain trains – So Eren couldn't tell which train Levi was getting. He ran up to an old couple. The elderly man pulled his wife behind him protectively and they edged away from Eren. Everyone had seen him grab Levi.

"P-Please help me! My friend is leaving and I need money! Please!" Eren begged but the man pulled his wife away without a word. Eren growled and ran through the snow towards a woman sitting on a bench with shoulder length blonde hair and blue eyes. She looked up from her phone as the teen skidded to a halt beside her. "Please Miss, I need money!"

"Why? Why did you grab that man over there?"

"I know him, he's my friend and he just got a ticket to leave and I have no idea where he's going, h-he might go and do something stupid or dangerous and get himself killed, please!" But no matter how hard Eren tried, no one on the platform would give him money. He looked around helplessly, and his heart stopped in his chest when he saw the next train coming. He ran over to Levi as the train slowed to a halt and grabbed him, not willing to let him go. They wrestled on the platform, kicking up great clouds of snow in their wake. They very nearly fell off onto the tracks, but a security guard came over and grabbed Eren, hauling the pair more safely onto the platform.

"Get off me!" He cried out as Levi dashed onto the train. "NO! LEVI GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW YOU BASTARD!" He screamed, his voice cracking halfway through his sentence in complete distress, but Levi disappeared inside the train.

"Shut it boy! Why were you assaulting him?" Everyone left on the platform was staring as Eren struggled in the strong security guard's grip, tears streaming from his eyes as he kicked out, trying to get free. The train started to leave with Levi on it.

"He's m-my friend!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. The whole platform was silent as the sound of the train got further away and Eren's pained voice rang out in the station. "A-and he is suicidal! I can't lose him, he just left to go somewhere and I have no idea what he'll do! Even if I get the next train he could have caught another and be halfway across the country! If ANY of you lot," Eren addressed the whole platform, glaring at them all with fire in his eyes as tears streamed down his cheeks,"See his face on the news following a suicide, you can hold yourselves personally responsible! All of you! No one would listen and was willing to help me! Everyone on this platform can hold themselves responsible in one way or another! That includes you and me!" Eren yelled at the guard who had wide eyes and was still holding him tightly. "I only needed a couple of pounds to get on that train and at least follow him to the next station and maybe I could get more money there, but no one helped me! Why? I-I love that man... And now I've lost him... This is all my fault..." He broke down into sobs and stopped struggling. The guard hesitantly let go of him and Eren fell to his knees, crying. There were whispers all around the platform. The guard that had held him was talking to the other guards, wondering what to do and Eren just lay, feeling numb in the snow - But it wasn't the snow that was making him numb, it was the fact that he'd lost Levi. His tears trickled down his bright red cheeks and froze in the snow as he stared at the now empty tracks, not knowing what on Earth to do...

After about 5 minutes, he saw a pair of boots stop in front of his face. They were a woman's boots. He looked up to see the woman with blonde hair and she bent down on one knee.

"Here..." She whispered, offering Eren a few pounds. "I'm so sorry I didn't help earlier..." Her blue eyes were sad and pitiful.

"B-but there's no point now, I-I don't know which station he's gone to, I-If I'd had money sooner I c-could have f-followed him but n-now I can't..." His voice was barely a whisper as tears burned his eyes.

"Listen lad..." The lady pulled him gently by the shoulders and sat him up. Eren's head was hung and his shoulders shook as he fell apart. The woman opened her purse and pulled out an entire £50. Eren watched through his hair in absolute shock. "Take this. You can go to each platform and ask at the ticket office or ask the public if they've seen him."

"B-but I can't take all of that!" He breathed in shock, looking up at her.

"Think of it as a sorry. As you said, this is my fault too, if I'd given you money earlier this wouldn't have happened, but I didn't. I ignored you. I deeply regret that now and I am SO sorry..." She picked up Eren's hand and put five £10 notes into it before curling his fingers around them. "Don't lose it boy and good luck finding your friend." She gave him a sad smile and Eren watched her in stunned silence. He couldn't speak so he threw his arms around her neck and cried into her shoulder.

"Th...Tha...nk...y...ou..." He whispered and she hugged him back before pulling him to his feet. She pulled a tissue from her pocket and handed it to him also.

"Looks like you need that too... Off you go, you'd better get a ticket fast before the next train going in that direction arrives." Eren sniffed and wiped his eyes and nose on the tissue, nodding.

"Th-ank you... S-so much..." He whispered before rushing off to look at the messed up train times so he knew what ticket to get. There was one going North that was on time, whether it was detouring through the same station that Lei went to, Eren didn't know, but he had to try... He ran off to go to the ticket machine and the man behind the glass watched him, feeling incredibly guilty. Everyone on that platform that day felt the same guilt... but they learned an important lesson. They learned to listen. Eren got his ticket and clutched it tightly, rushing back onto the platform just as his train screeched to a halt. "I'm coming Levi Ackerman, whether you like it or not... I _will_ find you."

 **(A/N:) Hey guys! I know this chapter has been heavily anticipated, I got lots of reviews from people desperate for me to update which made me feel really happy because you seem to like the story! I want to thank you all for those reviews, they really do make me feel happy... :). This is not the end of the story, there's lots more to come, I know a few of you thought it was the end but don't worry, it's not yet ;). I deliberately didn't update too soon because I wanted to give people time to read the previous chapter before this one came out to get as many people to feel anxious if that makes sense, I wanted to put people on edge :). Thanks for being patient and I hope you'll stick with me through the rest of the fic! Thanks for reading, love you all, byee!**


	43. Chapter 43: Chasing Trains

Eren stood by the doors as the train chugged along. There were plenty of seats but he didn't care. He was full of adrenaline and anxiousness, he was ready to jump out of those doors as soon as the train stopped. He stood watching the world fly past through the doors, clutching his ticket. When the ticket conductor came round, he shoved it straight under his nose and the man looked at Eren like he was the weirdest person ever. He hurried to the next person as soon as he gave it back to the soggy, panic stricken teen. Eren was out just as the hiss of the doors opening could be heard and he sprinted to the ticket office. When he was in this mood and had this much determination, all of his social awkwardness flew out of the window and he could do anything without a care in the world. This time, he didn't make the same mistake as he had at the other station. He waited in line (impatiently, but he did it) and shifted his weight from foot to foot nervously. When it was his turn he asked the man whether he'd seen Levi. He described him and the situation. The man said he'd bought another ticket from a machine and gone on the next train. Eren thanked him and bought a ticket for the next train. There was a delay and Eren had to anxiously wait for 30 minutes before his train rolled into view. Levi was probably far away now... But that wouldn't stop him. He would chase him to the end of the world if he had to. He dived onto his train. He _would_ find his room-mate, if it was the last thing he did.

Eren followed Levi through at least 7 more stations. He asked each one and they all said that Levi had got on another train or hadn't stopped there. When Eren came to the 8th station, he was beginning to lose hope. He was starving and thirsty as well from so much running and crying. It was about 6:43pm now and it was pitch black as it was winter and the sun set early. He remembered that he didn't have a phone and all his friends would be worried. Mikasa. Oh God, Mikasa... When he found the right station, he'd have to ask to use someone's phone or have to use one of those old telephone boxes. When Eren hopped off the train, he rushed over to an exhausted looking man in a suit, obviously on his way home from work.

"Excuse me sir, but have you seen a man wearing all black stop here? He is about this tall," Eren indicated with his hand to Levi's short 5,3 build, "With black hair and he looks really moody."

"Does he have an undercut and evil looking eyes?"

"Yes! Did he stop here or get another train?"

"He stopped here about an hour ago and left, I've been waiting here for ages because I missed my train by two minutes..." The man huffed. Eren could have screamed.

"Thank you! Thank you so much!" Eren cried out before sprinting to the ticket office. He put his old ticket through the machine to get out and ran out into the street. He was very far away from home but so much closer to Levi. He was freezing cold and he hugged himself, shivering violently in the crisp December air. It had stopped snowing but the air was icy and the wind was cutting. He hoped that Levi was alright and hadn't got hurt or done anything stupid... He looked up and down the dark street nervously. There weren't many people as shops were shut but there was light coming from bright, twinkling Christmas lights and yellow and orange street lamps. He trudged down the street through the snow, his trainers soaked and his feet numb with cold. His hands were blue and his face was going that way too. His hoodie and jeans were soaked through. After a long while, he saw a red telephone box. He prayed that it would work and opened the door, the warm light of a streetlamp coming through the frosty glass windows. He closed the door behind him and looked at the machine. He bit his lip, please say it would work! He knew Mikasa's number even though he hadn't got a phone because she had urged him to learn it in case there was an emergency and he had always thought her stupid... But he was so thankful for it now. He put money into the machine and to his relief, it bleeped and he was able to dial her number. He lifted the phone and it was picked up only about a second after it rang.

" _Eren, please say that's you!"_

"Yeah, it's me..."

" _Where the hell are you? Are you alright?"_ She sounded so worried.

"Yeah, I'm fine... I'm er... Not going to be back at the college tonight."

" _Why not? You'd better be ok and aren't just lying to me, Levi is missing too! I don't know whether I'd rather you were with him or really far away from him! I still don't trust him."_ Eren went on to explain to her as quickly as he could about the situation, he only had a few minutes on the machine.

" _You're WHERE? EREN! That's miles away! And it's late, stop looking for tonight and find somewhere safe to go or I'm going to have to come after you!"_

"You can't come after me Mikasa, don't be stupid. And don't act like you're my mother... I'm going to find him, don't worry, I'll be fine."

" _But it's dark and freezing!"_

"I'll be fine... I've got to go, the machine's about to hang up. I'll try and call you later, I'll call you when I find him too... Bye." Eren put the receiver down before she could say anymore and huffed. He looked through his pockets. He had £31.50 left. He opened the door to the box again and headed out into the freezing street. He was starving, tired and freezing, but he couldn't leave Levi alone. Levi was probably feeling just the same as he was and was probably far less safe right now.

Eren searched the streets for 2 hours until he could physically get no further. He felt he was getting ill from the cold and he was numb all over. He felt quite faint. He flopped onto a snow covered bench and hugged his knees, shaking all over. It was nearly 9pm now and the only sounds were the occasional cars going past and the freezing wind rushing past Eren's sore ears. He lay on the bench by the path beside the road and started to cry. He couldn't go on and he needed to find Levi. He needed help. After about 10 more minutes, a car slowed down at the curb and opened the window. A worried looking brown haired lady wearing a nurses uniform under a brown coat peered out. She was about 25 so was young. "Sweetie? Are you alright?" She called out, watching Eren with a worried frown. Eren peeked over his shuddering knees at her, his face purple from cold and she hurriedly got out of her car and ran over to him. "How old are you? It's freezing, how long have you been out here?"

"S-s-s... s-sixt-t-teen..."

"Bloody hell, you're freezing! You're going to get sick!" She pulled off her coat and wrapped it around Eren's shoulders. "Are you lost or something? Where do you live?" When Eren told her she opened her eyes wide in shock. "What are you doing here then? Come on, come with me boy..." She helped him get to his feet and led him to her car She was just an inch shorter than him. She helped him get into the passenger seat beside her and Eren was too weak too resist. He wanted to stay and look for Levi but couldn't go on. "What's your name sweetheart?"  
"E-E...ren..."

"Eren? Well it's nice to meet you Eren, my name's Natalie... I'm going to bring you back to my flat alright? Because you are getting hypothermia it looks like and I'm a nurse, I can look after you." She started the car and as they went she gradually turned the heating up so that Eren didn't get suddenly hit by the warmth. As they went along, she patiently listened as Eren stuttered his story of why he was there and her frown turned more and more grave as he went on. When he'd finished, they were about to park in the car park beside the block of flats she lived in. "That's terrible Eren, you shouldn't be out here alone... I'll help you find him, alright? But I need to make sure you're alright first. Come on, let's get you inside. She locked up her blue car and then helped Eren out. She helped him slowly walk into the flats and they took the lift up to her flat that was on the 5th floor. She unlocked the door and led Eren inside. He trusted this lady, she seemed nice, was a nurse and had offered to help him... He was so worried about Levi. If this was the state he was in, where was Levi? He probably hadn't got shelter and had gone down some alley somewhere. Natalie took him towards the sofa in the small living room and removed her coat from his shoulders. She got blankets and wrapped them around him before going to get him a hot mug of tea. "If I can keep you warm, we may be able to prevent the hypothermia before it gets worse and starts showing symptoms... Hopefully we can stop it before you properly contract it." She said softly as she brought his tea over to him. "You'll have to drink this slowly, it's not too hot, ok?" She put it on the coffee table and sat beside him. "I'll help you find your friend Eren, ok? I'll get you better and then we'll look around the town. Hopefully he hasn't left by bus or anything... If we can't find him in a couple of days, we'll file a missing persons report and try and find him that way, ok?" Eren sniffed as tears trickled down his cheeks and he nodded in silence, unable to speak past the thick lump that was clogging his throat.

Natalie looked after Eren by keeping him warm and making him slowly drink the tea. She got him to eat a few small things and when it was 10:30pm, she told him that he should get some rest now as he was exhausted. She gave him a hot water bottle and left him smothered in blankets on the soft sofa. She turned out the light for him and went to go to bed herself. Eren couldn't sleep for at least 3 hours, he lay crying until there were no more tears to cry. What if Levi was dead? Where was he? Was he sick? Was he safe? Was he alone? Would Eren ever find him? Thoughts whizzed around Eren's head and buzzed in his ears. Eventually, his exhaustion overwhelmed him and he couldn't keep his eyes open any longer, and he fell into a deep sleep...

 **(A/N:) Hey! Oh my God, I have had SO many reviews on my last chapter, I left you all in so much suspense I'm so sorry XD. Well here is the next chapter, I hope you enjoyed reading it! Thank you very, very much for all your reviews :). Bye guys! ^u^**


	44. Chapter 44: Safe House

When Eren woke up, it was noon and the lounge was bright. Natalie was sitting on another chair doing some work and Eren blinked sleep from his eyes, peering round his pile of blankets. Natalie looked up when the sound of Eren stirring broke the silence. "Morning Eren, how are you feeling?" She got up and went to Eren's side, kneeling down beside him. Eren looked up into her kind and pretty face, with brown eyes and curly brown hair framing her rosy cheekbones, reaching her chest. She had a few freckles dusting her nose. She wasn't wearing her nurses uniform anymore, she was wearing her own casual clothes. A pair of jeans and a warm navy coloured jumper.

"A bit better..." He whispered hoarsely. He was warmer and less thirsty and hungry but he still wanted food and felt a bit ill. He was a long way off being fine though... He wouldn't be fine until Levi was beside him, safe and alive.

"Good, hopefully we managed to control the hypothermia before it fully set in..." She let out a sigh of relief.

"Can we go and find Levi today?" Eren asked her with wide and worried eyes.

"No Eren, you need to stay here and stay warm. I will look for him a bit later but you need to stay here. I have cancelled my work for the next few days, called in sick so that I can help you." She said softly, stroking Eren's hair back from his face. His eyes welled with tears and he sniffed.

"But I have to find him! H-he could be hurt!"

"Shh, Eren I'll try and find him later, ok?" She cupped his face in her warm hands and looked at him meaningfully. "Look Eren, I promise you, we WILL find him. We will, whether it's today or not, I won't stop helping you until we find him, alright?" Her eyes flashed with determination and Eren swallowed, nodding in silence. He believed her. "So you need to stay here and rest... You need to eat. Sit up and I'll bring you another hot drink." She rubbed his cheek gently and then got to her feet, heading to go into the small kitchen. Eren sighed and brushed tears from his eyes before slightly shakily pushing himself up into a sitting position. His legs still ached from walking so far and he had a small headache like a weight resting on his eyes. He gathered the blankets around himself more as he let out a small shiver. He looked around the room through his messy hair and looked out of the large, glass French doors that led out onto a small railed balcony. It had stopped snowing and the sky was clear and bright. He sighed as he looked out over the snow covered rooftops and watched the cars zooming about like tiny bugs rushing along the roads. Levi was somewhere out there. Cold, probably alone, possibly scared... No, Levi was never scared – but he was no doubt very upset... Was he even alive? Eren screwed his eyes up at the thought and tried to concentrate on something else. He looked round the room at the small house plants around the edges of the room and read the titles of the books on the bookcase in an attempt to distract his mind.

After about 5 minutes, Natalie returned with a hot mug of tea and she handed it carefully to a thankful Eren before heading back into the kitchen. Eren sipped it slowly, his mind still buzzing with thoughts. How could he sit here, warm and safe while Levi was out there, cold and in danger? Not only from others but from himself, Levi was his own worst enemy it seemed... Eren sniffed again, a salty tear dripping into his mug, creating ripples on the surface of the tea. He let out a shaking a breath, blowing the warm steam into his face. He had to find Levi. He HAD to. Natalie returned shortly with a bowl of hot soup and she relieved Eren of his cup so that he could eat it. She put his mug onto the table, sat on the sofa beside him and watched as he slowly ate the hot tomato soup. He tried to keep his thoughts away from Levi because he trusted Natalie, and she tried to do the same by asking him questions about his likes and dislikes and his hobbies. She told him about herself too until he'd scraped the last of the creamy soup from his bowl. "Thank you..." He said quietly as Natalie took the bowl and gave him back his still warm tea.

"It's no problem..." She took the bowl back to the kitchen and set it on the counter beside the sink to be washed later. She felt so sorry for Eren, it must be so difficult for him at the moment... Sighing, she went back into the living room. "Right Eren, I don't have work today like I said and even if they hadn't let me off, I wouldn't go because I swore to help you." She said as she pulled on a warm black coat. "I'm going to have a look around for you friend, even if I don't find him today, that doesn't mean we won't find him tomorrow, ok? I'm taking my phone, if you need me I put my phone number by the land line on a sticky note. I'll find you if I hear news of your friend or find him so that you can talk to him or something... Help yourself to anything in the kitchen and use the TV all you want." Eren nodded as he watched her pull her boots on.

"Thank you Natalie... For everything."

"It's fine Eren, don't thank me – Just concentrate on getting better Sweetie." She gave him a soft smile before taking her car keys and heading out of the flat. "I won't lock the door, I'll give you a call later to tell you where I am, bye!" She called before shutting the door, and Eren was left alone. He pulled the blanket up under his chin and his eyes travelled to the phone. He stared at it. Now all he could do was hope that Natalie would be successful... and find Levi alive.

 **(A/N:) Hey everyone! Sorry I haven't updated in a while, but here you guy, a new chapter... In reply to a review I got from a guest, (I can't reply by pm obviously), I do know that in the anime Mikasa is adopted by Eren's parents, but this is an AU fic which means I can change any rules I want and I decided for Eren's character I wanted him to be adopted by Mikasa's parents :). Thank you for reading! Thank you for all your reviews! See you next chapter, byee! :D**


	45. Chapter 45: The Search

Natalie swiftly headed to the lift and selected the button for the ground floor. The lift just couldn't go fast enough; as a nurse, she knew the importance of time more the most, and time was one thing she didn't have. She needed to find Levi, she had no time to lose now. Her priority had been her patient first, but now it was Levi and she knew she had to be fast. Each second felt like an hour. Finally, the lift's annoying speaker crackled the words "Ground Floor" in a painfully mechanical female voice, and Natalie darted through the metal doors as soon as they opened wide enough for her to slip through. She rushed out of the main doors, the ferocious cold wind hitting her like a truck. Screwing up her eyes against it, she pushed against its force, her curls dragging out behind her as the wind pulled them back harshly. She got to her car and fumbled with the lock before finally opening the door, and fighting with the wind to slam it shut. Pushing her errant curls from her flushed face, Natalie started the cars engine and reversed out of her space. She searched blindly for her seatbelt and clicked it on as she drove out of the car park and turned onto the road. She may have been in a hurry, but she was a very safe and good driver. Her phone was placed on the seat beside her so that she could pick up calls from Eren easily or phone him if she needed to... and so, the search for Levi Ackerman began.

Eren stayed curled into a ball on the sofa, the occasional warm tear slipping down his cheek and dampening the soft material of the blanket he clutched so desperately. He stared into nothingness, lost in thought as he remembered everything he'd been through with Levi. The good, the bad, the completely mental... He remembered when he'd first seen him, how attractive he'd thought Levi was. He remembered how awkward he'd been at first, acting weird, tripping and falling over, knocking Levi onto the floor... God he was a mess. He remembered when he ended up running across the rooftops after Levi, he remembered when he fainted down an alley... When Levi told him the truth. He remembered when Levi finally came out to him and they kissed. He remembered going to town with Levi, falling in love with him more with every second he spent with him. He remembered the incidents with Mikasa, when she saw Levi's cigarettes, when Levi started drinking... When everything went wrong. Now Eren was lying on a sofa while someone went looking for a possibly dead Levi, and he could do nothing... He was useless.

Natalie scoured the streets, driving round every road, sometimes parking her car and running through snow covered park after park. She was exhausted and had only been going for a couple of hours. It was 2pm when Natalie finished yet another run through a large, white dusted playground and lawn. Face red and chest heaving, she flopped back into her car and shut the door after her. Nothing. She hadn't seen anyone that looked like Eren's description of Levi at all... But there was still loads more for her to search. She'd never manage it all in one day, and it wasn't even guaranteed that Levi would be in the town anymore. With numb fingers, she picked up her phone and struggled to type her home number with frozen fingers. Not even a second after her house phone had started ringing, Eren had picked up.

" _Natalie? Have you found him? Where are you? Is he ok-"_

"Eren... Calm down..." She said breathlessly, sniffing her cold red nose. Eren fell silent, straining his ears as he waited for news. "I haven't found him yet, but we still have time, ok Eren? I don't want you to panic... We will find him, I promise. I'll search for a couple more hours because by then it will be getting dark and I'll come back home, hopefully with your friend..."

" _But what if he's hurt?!"_

"Eren, I'm doing my best." She sighed. "Don't worry. If I don't find him today, I'll come back out tomorrow. I still have half the town to search, I won't be able to do it all today... How are you feeling?" She asked softly. Eren sniffed down the phone and Natalie knew he was crying.

" _I-I'm ok..."_ The brunette whispered through the receiver. It broke Natalie's heart to hear anyone like this.

"Ok, take care of yourself Eren and I'll be back soon, ok? I'll keep on searching now..."

" _Ok... Bye..."_

"Bye Sweetie."

 **(A/N:) Hey everyone, thanks for reading! Lots of you have been asking me desperately to upload a chapter from Levi's POV because you are worried about him, but I'm afraid that would ruin the story so you'll have to wait :). Glad you are enjoying it guys, I will update soon! :D Byee!**


	46. Chapter 46: Stubborn

Nothing. There was no sign of Levi all day and Natalie drove back towards her flat in silence. A tear rolled down her cheek and she swiped it away angrily. She wanted to find him for Eren, poor, poor Eren... She'd keep looking tomorrow. She would NOT give up until she'd helped Eren find his friend. Driving back, she wondered what she'd tell the teen. She parked up and locked her car. The dark winter night had already set in and it was only 5pm. The block of flats shone like a beacon in the blackness, its windows bright with yellow light. Natalie headed inside and took the lift up to her flat. Quietly, she unlocked her door and solemnly went inside her flat. She shut the door behind her and kicked off her boots. Her coat was still damp with snow and her hair was also. She hung up her coat before slowly rounding the corner. Eren was by the window, looking out desperately, and looked over his shoulder when he heard Natalie come in. His face was tear stained and his green eyes dull and helpless. Natalie couldn't tell him, she couldn't bring herself to. The words stuck in her throat, so she just sadly shook her head. A tear rolled down Eren's cheek and dripped from his chin onto the floor. He was giving up hope. All he wanted was Levi back... Natalie held her arms open in silence and a sob escaped Eren's throat as he ran towards her and threw himself into her arms. He shook as he buried his face into her shoulder, wetting her already damp shoulder with pained tears.

The next day, Natalie quietly entered her living room at around 7am to get a drink, expecting to find Eren asleep, but she found him standing in the middle of the room. She stopped in her tracks and looked him up and down. He was wearing his dried out shoes and hoodie and looked ready to go out. "Eren, what are you doing?"  
"I want to help you find Levi." He said firmly, green eyes flashing with determination. Natalie switched on the light and they both squinted at the brightness until their eyes adjusted to it.

"Eren, it's 7am..."  
"So? Levi is out there all the time, he doesn't magically disappear at night and reappear during the day. I want to find him." Natalie sighed and just looked at him for a few long moments.

"Eren you're still sick..."

"No I'm not, I feel better! Please let me come with you, it's either that or I leave and go look by myself." He wasn't kidding, and Natalie knew he wasn't.

"Fine..." She sighed, giving in. "Let me just get dressed..."

"I don't need this."

"Do you want to come or not Eren?"

"I do, I ju-"

"Well stop complaining then." Natalie had made Eren put on a big warm coat as she was worried about him getting ill again. It was a woman's coat and Eren felt stupid. He let out a small groan and headed to the door, itching to get out.

"Can we go then? Please?" He said impatiently and Natalie rolled her eyes before following him and unlocking the door. She also was wearing a thick, winter coat. They headed out and locked the flat up before rushing down to get into the car. Natalie had barely unlocked the car when Eren was in and belted up ready to go. She got in after him and started the car.

The roads and rooftops were smothered in a layer of white, like icing on a cake, perfect and pristine. The two searched the roads and drove around the parks, scanning every nook and cranny for any sight of Levi. The parks were covered in a thick blanket of white. Statues peeked out under their new white caps, footsteps and paw prints were imprinted into the pure layer, criss-crossed over one another around the labyrinth of paths. Aside from the brown of the denuded trees, the only colour to be seen was the grass surrounding the trunks of them, staining the ground around the base of each lamp post and shrub. This practically perfect whiteness made Eren feels even more lost. Everything was different. In this swirl of white the world had been washed anew, like a new page, untouched and empty – and Eren hated this. He wanted Levi. That's all he wanted. The snow made everything so different, like it had covered Levi away along with the grass, buildings and ground, hidden from view and untouchable. They didn't find the ravenette in any park, on any street, at any bus stop... Were they ever to find him? They searched the entire town at last and there was still no sign of Eren's much-loved room-mate... It was 2pm, they had been going for 6 and a half hours straight with no break, all for nothing.

"I'm sorry Eren... He must have left."

"No. He hasn't. He's here somewhere, I can feel it! He must be!" Eren cried out.

"Eren, I don-"

"Do you know any alleyways that are discrete? Not the public ones we've already searched, but hidden ones that people are too scared to go down?"

"W-well, yes, but..."

"Good, let's go then!" Eren urged. Natalie let out a sigh, looking out of the slightly steamed up windscreen at the white world beyond.

"Eren, it would be irresponsible of me to take you there."

"Natalie please, I had hoped he wouldn't be able to find them if they were hidden but he must be there, there's nowhere else! Please! I'm 16, not 12! I can handle myself."  
"Yes, 16... And there are people down there ready to take advantage of 16 year olds like you." The nurse protested, meeting Eren's eyes seriously. "If he's down there, I highly doubt we'd manage to get him to leave... Sorry Eren, it's a no. I'm not putting you in danger."

"Fine." Eren snapped through gritted teeth. "If you won't take me there, I'll go myself." He opened the car door, getting out and slamming it behind him.

"Oi! Eren, get back here!" Natalie scrambled out of the car also. "You don't know where they are!" She called helplessly after the brunette as he stalked away.  
"So? I'll find them, and I'll find Levi!"

"Give me strength..." Natalie muttered to herself under her breath, her words creating steam on the freezing air. "Alright, alright! I'll come with you..." She gave in and Eren stopped in his tracks, looking back over his shoulder at her. His soft brown hair blew across his forehead and into his bright emerald eyes.

"You promise...?" He asked warily.  
"I promise..." Natalie nodded and got back into the warmth of the car, expecting Eren to follow. Eren nodded back in silence and headed back to the car.

They drove in silence for quite a while until Eren finally spoke. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to get so angry, I really am grateful for all you've done. If it weren't for you, I would probably have frozen to death by now and wouldn't have even gotten close to finding out where Levi is... I'm really sorry. I'm just stressed is all." He muttered, staring out of the car window, still alert for any signs of Levi.

"It's ok Eren... I know." Natalie said softly as she took a right down another road past a small park. "We'll find him, don't you worr-" She was cut off by Eren shouting.

"THERE!" He yelled and scrambled out of the car even though it was still moving. The wheels of Natalie's car screeched to a hurried halt in the middle of the road and several horns beeped behind her.

"Eren!" She called out after him. She quickly drove on and parked in the nearest available space. She rushed from the car after the brunette who was running towards a black hoodie-covered figure on a bench, sitting with his arms folded and his back hunched.

 **(A/N:) Hey guys! So sorry I haven't updated recently, but here you go, another chapter. Thank you for reading! I will be updating soon! Thanks for all you reviews too, I love reading them! I added dashes for paragraphs this chapter because 2 lines would stubbornly not let me split and they merged into one paragraph, so it was the only way I could make it make sense, sorry. See you soon! :D**


	47. Chapter 47: Darkness

"LEVI!" Eren yelled and grabbed the man on the bench's arm. The man immediately ripped his arm away and stood up from the bench... He was an inch taller than Eren.

"What the hell, kid?" The man snapped and turned to walk away. Eren sank to his knees just as Natalie rushed up behind him.

"Eren? Are you ok? Was that not him?" She put her hand on Eren's shoulder as the man walked away. No, Eren had said that Levi was short, this man was tall. She let out a sigh. The cold snow made dark damp patches on Eren's jeans and froze his skin, but he didn't care. Natalie reached out and pulled Eren gently to his feet. "Come on, we'll find him..."

"I really thought it was him..." Eren sniffed, wiping at his eyes as his tears stung his freezing cheeks. "I really did... I thought I'd found him..." He barely whispered.

"You WILL find him, and I'm going to help you to... Come on, back to the car."

Natalie pulled on the brake and took a deep breath. "Well... We're here." Through the windscreen they could see at the end of the road, there was a dark, ominous opening to an alley, the graffiti covered bricks crumbling and breaking away at the edges. Eren swallowed but nodded determinedly.

"Right... Here goes."

"E-Eren, is this really such a good idea?" Natalie's heart was thumping in her chest; she was terrified.

"Probably not." Eren admitted as he got out and shut the car door.

"Great, that makes me feel loads better..." Natalie muttered under her breath before following suit. She went to the boot of her car and opened it, clumps of snow falling from the paintwork, showering her curly hair. "I can't believe I'm doing this, but..." She opened her nurses case and drew out a scalpel and another knife (fairly small, but a decent size for the job it was now for). She handed the knife to Eren. "There. I cannot believe we are doing this..." She sighed through chattering teeth and shut the boot, locking up the car with a press of a button.

"Thanks..." Eren swallowed and turned to face the menacing entrance to the alley. "R-ready?" He said with shaking breath.

"No."

"Me neither..." The two slowly walked towards the walkway. The smell of piss and cigarettes drifted out on the cold air, making Natalie wrinkle her nose and Eren let out a small cough. She wasn't sure this was such a good idea, she didn't want him to get sick again... But she knew there was no way of stopping Eren. She could either go with him and try to protect and help him, or she could leave him to go alone. Easy choice.

They entered the dark walkway, the darkness seeming to swallow them up as soon as they stepped inside. The inky blackness in the air was eery and thick, damp yet biting at the same time. The only sound was their slightly erratic breath on the still air. All of a sudden, Eren kicked a can in the darkness and they both let out a small shriek as the sound resounded on the walls, clanking and crashing loudly through their ears. They exchanged glances and Eren tried to give Natalie a reassuring smile, but it came out as a small twitch on the corner of his lips. They continued down the alley to a fork in their path. They could go left or right, but which way led to Levi?

"Which way do we go?" Natalie whispered as she glanced fearfully down each direction. Her hands were sweaty as they clutched tightly to her scalpel, her knuckles nearly as white as the snow that covered the rest of the town. There was no snow to be seen down here, the alley was shadowed by rooftops. It was damp and smelly down the alley, it made Natalie feel sick.

"Er... Left." Eren went with his gut feeling and started to lead Natalie down the left pathway. All too soon, they came across a man wearing a hoodie smoking a foul smelling cigarette. Natalie by now was shaking from head to toe in fear. Her heart was kicking at her ribs as if it was trying to break them and escape. The man turned his head in their direction but said nothing. Eren remembered what Levi had taught him about being in places like this: Don't show your weakness, or you'll be an easy target. "Don't look scared..." Eren whispered lowly back to Natalie before swallowing and walking straight forward. Natalie scurried after him and they went straight past the man. She wanted to scream, she had never been so scared in her life. What kind of person WAS Levi if he chose to be in a place like this?! They continued down the daunting alley, Natalie sticking close to Eren like a shadow. She was supposed to be here to protect HIM, not the other way round... Oh how the tables had turned. They continued turning down different routes, squeezing past foul smelling bins and edging around suspicious looking shadows. As they went along, they seemed to find more and more people, and in response, Natalie only got more and more scared. One man reached out drunkly and grabbed a hold of her, making her shriek, but Eren had shoved the man off and pulled her away. As they went he was starting to realise that this was all too familiar. He was doing exactly what Levi had done for him, and Natalie was in the position he had been in before. Nothing was going to get in his way, he was going to find Levi. They turned down a side-alley only to find a very drunk male and female having sex in the middle of the piss covered ground, their sweaty bodied smothered in dirt and God knows what. They had hurriedly turned back and gone another way, only to find another group of people, this time smoking what smelt like weed.

"Do you want any kid? Give me some money, I've got some good shit." One man with stale smelling breath said to Eren in a gravely voice, his grey hair hanging in lank wisps around his wrinkled old face. He was brandishing a sharp needle in one hand.

"No." Natalie said firmly and pushed Eren hurriedly past him. She was desperate to keep Eren safe and she knew all about infection from those needles. She didn't want to think about what would happen if one of them ended up on the receiving end of one of them. They sprinted away from the group and the old man down another path. All of a sudden, Natalie grabbed Eren's arm. Her face was pale.

"Eren..." She whispered, her eyes wide. Eren looked at her nervously.

"Y-yes...?"

"We have been so caught up in finding Levi, that we've forgotten to remember which way we've come... We're lost." Eren swallowed at that but refused to give in to fear. He shook his head adamantly, dampy hair swaying.

"All the more reason to find Levi, he's good at this sort of thing." He said and turned to carry on moving, but Natalie kept a firm grip on his arm. "He can get us out."

"Eren, what sort of person is he... H-he sounds dangerous, why would he be down here?" She whispered through shaking lips.

"Don't worry, he's not, he acts all big and scary, but he is really a softy... He was born on the streets and grew up in an alley, remember? It was hardly choice. He hated it. Don't worry, ok? I trust him." Natalie met the teen's eyes and searched them for a moment through the cloud of black shadow that surrounded them like smoke. His eyes were firm and honest. She could practically see the trust he had in Levi glittering in them.

"Alright..." She nodded, although she was still terrified. "Let's go get him." There was one thought that lingered in her mind that terrified her even more... What if Levi wasn't even here? Then Eren would break down, they'd be completely lost and probably die down there... Was this it?

 **(A/N): Hey guys! I know you've been greatly anticipating this chapter, I've had quite a few msgs. yes I am very sorry I haven't uploaded recently, I have only just come back from a holiday today. Thanks for reading, I love you reviews and all of you, see you next chapter! :D**


	48. Chapter 48: A Familiar Face

They searched for what felt like a lifetime, having numerous close encounters with rough looking people brandishing bongs, needles, cigarettes, knives, all sorts. They searched and searched but there was no Levi to be found. They seemed to be going in circles.

"I could have sworn we've been here before..." Eren mumbled.

"We have, there's that girl that tried to have sex with you..." Natalie whispered, jabbing her thumb down the alley to their right at a silhouette clouded in wispy grey smoke. Eren shivered rather violently.

"Ugh, I don't want to remember that thank you... I think we went left from here last time, let's go forward."

"No, I swear we went right..."

"No, we did that the first time and we are NEVER doing it again." Eren hissed. "Come on." He started to lead Natalie down the pathway directly ahead of them. They walked past an elaborate design on the wall from an obviously experienced graffiti artist, only to see a less elaborate drawing of a penis on another wall further down. Natalie looked at it in disgust as they headed through the alley. She was starving and thirsty, but she was sick of this place, she felt she'd never be able to swallow a mouthful ever again... The strong scent of beer hit them as they got to some dirt smothered bins. The stench of alcohol and another revolting scent filled their noses as they picked their way around litter on the floor. There were numerous empty beer cans and bottles scattered about the floor. Eren starting to squeeze past the bins that were dripping with grime from old packets and retired cigarettes, infested with insects. He could see a bare female leg with a skewed high heel hanging off of the toes. Beside it there was another leg with dark jeans and a dark trainer on the end. They continued to squidge past the large amount of bins. Eren hoped that the people wouldn't be awake and try to give them drugs like some other people had earlier... He got to the end and saw a female with dirty blonde hair, her shirt half off revealing one of her breasts, her incredibly short skirt ripped and mostly off, revealing partly off pants. The man next to her was mostly shirtless too. His shirt was only on one arm and he was filthy with dirt. His zipper and belt were undone and the woman's hand was resting on his crotch, her face buried into his back, dripping with mascara and smudged lipstick... The two were surrounded by empty bottles, some smashed, some upright and some on their sides. This scene wouldn't have shocked Eren much as they'd seen multiple things like this that day, if he hadn't recognised the face of the man. Eren completely froze, his entire body frozen like a statue of ice.

"Eren? What's wrong? Are they awake?" Natalie whispered from behind him as she struggled to get her hips past one of the bins. Eren was shaking, his face was pale as he looked down at Levi lying in the dirt, not moving and paler than the snow they'd seen out in the streets.

 **(A/N:) Hey everyone! So sorry I haven;t updated, I am doing my best, but I have lots of coursework to do at the moment and youtube stuff and asdfghjkl... So it is rly difficult to find time. I have also only got 2 more chapters in stock to upload but I know what will happen after that, it's just a tricky bit to write. This story is going to be MUUUCH longer, don't worry xD Thanks for being patient with me and reading my fic! Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! 3**


	49. Chapter 49: Come Back To Me

The whole world seemed to go in slow motion as Eren dropped to his knees in front of his room-mate. His ears were buzzing, he could only hear Natalie's voice faintly as he reached out a violently trembling hand and shook Levi's leg.

"Lee?" He squeaked. "Wake up!" His voice cracked halfway through and fell silent. He scrambled forwards and touched Levi's pale and dirt smudged face. It was absolutely freezing, not surprisingly. Levi's dark circles were even worse than they had been before and his hair was a complete and utter filthy mess. Eren didn't even care about the woman lying next to Levi right now, he would slap Levi hard for that later when he woke up... If he woke up.

"Eren? What-" Natalie froze when she saw Eren holding the man's face, begging him to wake up. "Is that...?"

"L-Lee p-please wa-ake up-p..." Eren stuttered, tears streaming down his cheeks. "N-Natalil-lie, h-help m-me-e..." His voice was barely audible as he pleaded for help and Natalie hurriedly crouched down beside Levi. Her heart was thumping in her chest as she checked his pulse. It was faint, but still there.

"He's alive. We need to get him out of here." Eren could barely see her, his eyes were completely bleary with hot tears.

"W-wake him u-up!" Eren begged her, his voice squeaky and pain filled. Natalie took off her coat and hurriedly lifted Levi up into a sitting position. Carefully she pulled his shirt back on him and Eren tried to help but he was too shaky. The nurse pulled the coat around Levi's shoulders while Eren sobbed into his hands.

"Eren, listen to me honey." Natalie put a hand on his shoulder. "We will get him better, but he needs you to be strong for him right now. You need to be brave. He needs you." She said firmly. "Come on Eren, I know you can do this." Eren nodded into his trembling hands and took a deep gulp of air before lifting his face again.

"W-what d-do we-e do?" He asked helplessly. Natalie wrapped her coat around Levi fully to try and keep him warm. Suddenly, the girl beside them started stirring. Her finger twitched from it's place on Levi's lap and she groggily started moving her head. She slowly opened her eyes, the grimace on her face clearly stating a bad headache and hangover. To Eren's horror her twitching fingers clawed at Levi's crotch as she woke up.

"Ghey, ssstop touching ghim..." She slurred groping at Eren, who slapped her hand away with mighty force.

"DON'T TOUCH HIM!" He screamed and Natalie looked at him in extreme concern.

"Eren, help me lift him, we need to get him to a more private place." Natalie said gently, trying to calm Eren. The male glanced at her and nodded shakily. Levi was actually pretty heavy for his size due to all of the muscle he had, even though he had practically no fat on him. Natalie and Eren started to lift Levi and they carried him past the girl down to the other end of the path. They placed him down gently and Eren put Levi's head in his lap.

"I-If she woke up, w-will Levi wake up soon too?" Eren asked looking down into Levi's seemingly lifeless white face. Even in this state, he thought Levi looked handsome. He was starting to calm down, not because he wasn't terrified, but because Natalie was right: Levi needed him to be strong.

"Not necessarily. We needed him to get us out of here, I don't think that's an option anymore, not if he's in this state..."

"S-so what do we do?! We can't let him die here! W-"

"Eren." Natalie interrupted him sternly. "I know this is difficult, but you need to stop panicking. He's not going to die down here, we'll keep him warm and hopefully he'll wake up soon." She said calmly, trying to calm Eren down also. "Sorry but you can't hold him like that, put him on his side so that he doesn't choke if he vomits or anything..." Natalie started to roll Levi onto his side and Eren sniffed. If he hadn't been told he needed to be strong for Levi, he'd probably have broken down completely and would have done something really stupid. He knew that he would when this was all over, whether it ended well or not, he would break down, but hopefully not do anything too stupid... Eren tapped his foot repeatedly on the muddy floor, his breathing a bit too deep. He felt a cold hand settle on his ankle, stopping it moving.

"Eren, you need to calm down. You're going to have a panic attack and I can't afford to have both of you unconscious. Hang tight sweetie, we'll just have to wait for him to wake up." Eren swallowed and held Levi's icy hand in silence.

"Come back to me Lee..." He whispered and a tear dripped from his eyes onto their clasped hands.

 **(A/N:) Hi! Thanks for reading this next chapter. Sorry I haven't been able to update much, we are doing lots of exam work at the moment and I haven't been very well the past few days so it is tough to upload much at the moment. I hope you don't mind to much. New chapter next week hopefully! Thanks, byeee 3**


	50. Chapter 50: Awake

Twitch. Eren felt a very small jerk in his hand. Twitch. Again. Natalie and Eren had been sitting with Levi for half an hour and hadn't left his side. Twitch. Eren's eyes widened and he looked at Levi's face with baited breath. Levi's eyelids twitched ever so slightly just like his ice cold hand.

"Levi?" Eren cried out only to receive a hand over his mouth and a sharp 'shh' from Natalie.

"He probably has a splitting headache, don't yell." She whispered. They watched in silence as Levi bit by bit, started to wake up. He moved his head around a little bit with a pained look on his face and Eren gripped his hand tightly. A small groan croaked from Levi's throat and his eyes blinked open into slits. His eyelashes were encrusted with dirt and salt from crying.

"Levi?" Eren whispered, his heart thumping in his chest.

"E...Er..en?" His voice was husky and sounded very sore. Levi thought he was dreaming of Eren, Eren couldn't really be there.

"Shh, don't try and speak..." Natalie said softly to Levi. Eren was trembling violently all over and Natalie looked at him in concern. "Eren, remember what I said... just calm down. He'll. Be. Ok. Levi?" She turned back to look at Levi. "Are you ok?"

"Er...e..n..." His eyes didn't focus and he seemed to not even hear Natalie's question. His vision was hazy, he could barely make anything out. He couldn't tell whether the hand holding his was real or not. He could just about see the shape of Eren, just a haze of colour.

"Levi, are you ok?" Natalie repeated her question softly.

"Er...en..." He let out a sore sounding cough and Eren shook even more, not that it seemed possible. His eyes were wide, his breathing was erratic and he felt sick. He stared at Levi's unfocused eyes, tears rushing in torrents down his blanched cheeks. Natalie looked at Eren in concern.

"Sweetheart look at me, you need to calm down." She said seriously. She reached out and turned Eren's face to look at her. "Ok? You're strong, you've been INCREDIBLY brave down here, Levi will be SO proud when we tell him everything you've done. Keep it going, you just need to try and calm your breathing down and maybe you should go over there for a minute while I speak to Levi, ok?" She said softly and pointed about a metre away. Eren shook his head, physically unable to make a sound. "Please. Sweetie I'll look after him, you can trust me." She gently pried Eren's hand from Levi's. She got up and pulled Eren to his feet. The boy was trembling all over and Natalie led him a couple of metres away. She sat him down against the wall. From where he was he wouldn't be able to see Levi if Natalie blocked his view. "Listen to me, just try and breathe normally and keep warm. She pulled Eren's coat around him tighter. "I will make him better, you have my word Eren. He will be ok. I swear." She said before getting up and going back over to Levi.

 **(A/N:) Thanks for reading! I actually updated in a week his time haha (woah 50 chapters so far o.o). Hope you are still enjoying the story, much more to come, see you in the next chapter! Byee! xx**


	51. Chapter 51: Hero

Every second felt like a minute, every minute like an hour... Eren shivered, his face hidden in his knees that were damp from his endless flow of tears. Levi, oh God, Levi! Would he be ok? Of course he would, Natalie was helping him. _But what if she can't help him?_ She can! She can help him! Sh-she can! _What if he can't get you out of here?_ _You can watch him die and then Natalie and you will be next._ Shut up, shut up, shut up! He is not going to die! _What if someone tries to attack him?_ They will have to get through me first. Clenching his fists, Eren started to try and calm his breathing. He bit his hand as he tried to calm down, trying to clench his teeth and stop them chattering. The copper taste of blood curled onto his tongue and his hand throbbed with sharp pain as his teeth sank into his skin. His thoughts whizzed around his head and suddenly he felt an intense sense of purpose. NO! Levi would NOT die! He just had to have faith! Levi believed in him, said he could do anything he set his mind to when Eren really struggled, even if sometimes he was a right dick and just called Eren dumb. Levi would fight for Eren, so Eren would fight for him! Eren jumped to his feet, wielding his knife with a tight bleeding fist, droplets of scarlet dripping to the ground and staining his fingernails a deep pigmented red.

"Eren? Are you ok?" Natalie looked over at him worriedly as she saw him suddenly get up. Eren was still quite dizzy because he had been in such a panic, but this sudden determination was taking his mind off of it and making it lessen. His chest still hurt but the tears had slowed to a dribble and he wasn't concentrating on his breathing, so it starting to become more even.

"Levi is NOT going to die, you can fix him and I will protect you both!"

"Eren, wh-"

"I will! No one is coming anywhere near him, they'll have to kill me first!" Levi watched groggily with unfocused eyes. Eren's voice sounded muffled and distant, but he could hear every word. _Such an insufferable brat..._ Levi thought - but Levi loved him. He just hoped Eren wouldn't get hurt because Levi knew he was in no shape to help.

Eren stood protectively by the bins, his blanched knuckles a pasty white where they gripped the handle of the knife with relentless force. He was ready for anything. A man stumbled into view with a hacking cough, smoke puffing around him and dissipating on the murky air. He started to drunkenly make his way towards Eren and the others, his brain and thoughts blearily washed out through over consumption of alcohol. Eren let out a menacing low growl, his eyes sparking like green fire. Natalie glanced over her shoulder in shock at Eren's defensive tone. The drunken man let out a slurred questioning sound, not able to process what was really going on around him. His short buzzed hair glistening with sweat and there was thick saliva dripping steadily from his chin, an empty bottle clutched in his hand. A steady dribble of dark blood was starting to cry into a crusty mess on his head where he must have hit it. Shakily, he raised the empty bottle and totally missed his mouth, not that he missed out on any drink. There was none to have.

"GET BACK!" Eren yelled violently and the man hesitated, leaning his shoulder on the wall. He looked at Eren with a frown, hazy eyes not really focusing. "YOU HEARD ME, GO!" Even in his drunken state, the man seemed to get the picture and withdrew back down the alley, nearly tripping over a dislodged brick as he went. Eren's chest heaved up and down and his heart thumped. He was full of anger and determination. No one was going to get to Levi.

There was no way he would be well enough to stand and get out of here, let alone be sober or awake enough to actually coordinate the way out. They were stuck... And Levi couldn't stay here in this condition, he could catch something nasty in his state. Levi needed a proper place to rest. Eren paced up and down the alley, alert for anything that could pose a threat to his boyfriend. His eyes darted up and down the pathways, checking for any signs of movement. All the while he racked his brains for a solution. He needed to get Levi out of here, and soon. He saw off 2 girls and a stray, mangy cat all while Natalie checked Levi's condition. Eren leaned against the wall, his throat parched and his stomach growling, but that was the least of his worries. He looked down at the dried blood encrusting his hand and the tooth marks he'd placed there. Bruising sponged around the edges of the crescent moon shapes. Levi wouldn't be happy when he saw those... Levi. Levi. Levi! What would Levi do? _Think Eren, think! He knew what he was doing... What would he do in this situation?_ Eren's eyes drifted upwards to the high rooftops where water was dripping from the weathered bricks at the top. He remembered jumping across roofs similar to this with Levi a few months back... Sure this place was bigger, quite a lot bigger, but surely it would be easier to climb up there now that he had practice. He looked over through his disheveled hair at where Natalie was looking at some scrapes on Levi's leg. Levi would HATE this if he had the ability to say so and stop it. It was kind of a good job he didn't though, so Natalie could check him over properly... This also meant that Levi couldn't tell Eren not to climb up onto the roofs and he couldn't physically stop him either. Eren could do it, sure he could. He was brave enough, he'd done it before, and he WAS going to save Levi, nothing could stop him!

Eren pocketed his knife and made sure his coat was done up so it didn't get in his way. He stopped down and picked up a dented yellow spray can. He tested it on the wall. It was still about half full. He took one last glance at the very pale Levi and Natalie before pocketing the can and climbing atop the first bin he got to. The nurse's head snapped round at the metallic clanging sound and her pretty eyes widened in shock. "Eren! What on Earth are you doing?"

"Finding a way out of this dump." He mumbled firmly and tested a bin with his foot before stepping on it completely, making sure it wasn't too eroded and weak to hold him.

"No you're not, get down here, that's dangerous! If you fall we're done for Eren!"

"I won't fall."

"You don't know that! Eren don't be stupid! Please come down!" She got up and hurried over to Eren, dodging past shattered fragments of deep green glass and some sort of mou1ldy material. Looking up at Eren on the bins, her heart thumped against her ribs. Eren got a foothold in a crevice in the brickwork and stepped firmly into it, gripping a brick that was jutting out with his hand and hauling himself up a couple of meters. "EREN! Stop now!" Natalie demanded. The brunette had never heard her so forceful. Levi groggily started turning his head at the sound of Eren's name, his head throbbing painfully at the loud noise and movement. Eren...? What was he doing? Was he alright? His eyes were too unfocused, he couldn't see a thing and he was too weak and thirsty to manage saying anything above a whisper. Natalie watched in horror as Eren pulled himself higher and higher, one leg and arm after the other, a look of pure determination set defiantly into his features. He was going to rescue them all. It was his turn to be the hero.

 **(A/N:) Hey! Thank you for reading, sorry for not updating, hope this chapter made up for it! :D Thanks for all your reviews, I'll see you in the next chapter! Byeee!**


	52. Chapter 52: Tracks

Left, right, left, right... Swing, climb, slip, catch. Eren made his way up the side of the building. He was about 15 meters in the air now. The building was tall, roughly 20 meters in height. Just a few more meters to go... Natalie was watching helplessly from the ground, her heart seizing tightly in her chest as she begged Eren mentally not to fall. A large black spider scuttled out of a small crack and scurried across Eren's hand, making him jump and he very nearly fell to the ground. His stomach turned like it does when you are asleep and dream of falling, but this time he felt it from real life falling. He dropped about a foot but luckily there was a section of scaffolding just below him and he landed on a damp wooden plank. He pulled himself up the slippery metal of the creaking scaffolding, the cold poles burning his hands. Finally, Eren took a step onto the roof and the wind blew through his matted hair. He took a deep breath, the far more fresh but cold air making a beautiful change to the manky air from down in the alleyways. He looked back down over the edge and immediately regretted it, taking a number of steps backwards in a hurry. Wow. He was high up; this was quite scary really. He looked up at the grey sky. The snow that had been falling had stopped now and the roofs were covered in a thin layer of snow. There had obviously not been as much snow round here. Taking in his surroundings, Eren realised they really WERE in a maze. Various sized buildings obscured his view of any actually normal buildings showing proper society. Poor Levi... He really had lived in the dumps. How shit must he have felt to have wanted to come back here! He must really have hated Eren - No! No pessimism! Eren shook the thoughts off. He couldn't linger on those ideas now, he needed to stay focused on getting Levi and Natalie out.

Picking a route, he started carefully walking across the roof. Leaving footprints, Eren left a trail of ruined snow. He continued to leave the prints as he crossed several other roofs. This way he would be able to find his way back. Eren carefully picked his way over slippery slabs of black slate and cracking, copper coloured bricks, stained and weathered with age. He went for about half an hour, trying to get out of this maze. At one point he someone managed to end up where he had been before, but he corrected himself and took a different route. He drew a large X with the spray paint on the wrong route so he knew not to go that way again. Natalie must be so worried... But this was the only way. Eren continued to make sure his steps left noticeable tracks as he headed, exhausted, over the roofs of the desperate area of town. His hair was an even more unruly mess than usual and was covered with silt and grime. It was sweaty also. His face was red and blotchy through effort and cold and his clothes were dirty and ripped in some places. Feet aching, and throat sore, Eren continued to fight through. A car horn suddenly honked quietly and Eren snapped his head up from where he was painting another marker for a wrong direction. He looked around with wide eyes. He'd done it. He'd got to the edge of this dreadful place! He ran across the top of a building in a frenzy. He skidded and slipped, nearly tumbling from the edge. He saved himself, hitting his toe on the wall and it throbbed painfully, but he got right on up again and carried on rushing. He stopped at the edge of a building and looked down at the streets below. He had never been so happy to see cars, and traffic lights, and roads, and busy annoying pedestrians... He couldn't wait to get Levi and Natalie out there too. Turning on his heel, Eren ran back the way he came. As he ran, he started to paint the walls at the top on the inside of the alley so that it could hopefully be seen from the floor, and he began to retrace his many steps. "I'm coming Levi!" He yelled at the top of his lungs.

 **(A/N:) Thank you for reading! Glad you guys are enjoying it! ^.^ Please leave a review telling me what you think so far ;) I've had some** ** _amazing_** **ones. More coming soon! Byeee! 3 :D**


	53. Chapter 53: Way out

"Wh-ere's... Er-en... G-..et off..." Levi rasped and tried to shove the intruding person from his side. He was uncoordinated and missed by about 3 inches, his hand simply pushing the air instead.

"H-he's fine Levi, he's just over there..." Natalie lied quietly, biting her lip. She was so completely terrified for Eren right now. What if he'd fallen or gotten lost? No, he wouldn't have gotten lost, he was a smart boy, he must have had a plan. Natalie took a deep breath in and shakily breathed it out. She shivered, her numb hands red and raw from the fearsome cold. She had various sore grates on her fingers and palms which made the stinging pain even worse. Levi was cut and scraped all over, God knew how bad HE felt, a hangover on top of the cold. Plus the depression Eren had said he was enduring and the hunger and thirstiness... Eren said he barely ate as it was, and right now Levi's body needed to mend, but he had no energy to do so. She should have brought the med kit, she just hadn't thought she'd be able to carry it... Plus she had been too scared to think properly at the time. She rubbed her sore hands together and breathed on them in an effort to get warm. They just hurt even more as a result. She readjusted her coat which was still struggling to keep Levi from getting too cold and looked upwards to the rooftops. Please Eren, please be alright... Come back...

20 more painful minutes crawled past. Time felt so slow it could have been going backwards for all Natalie knew. She squatted beside Levi who was propped up against a wall with his closed eyes hidden by his dark and messy hair. He was very pale, paler than normal, with dark bags underneath his tired eyes. Natalie could see that if Levi wasn't in this state he would be a pretty good looking boy, she didn't understand the same as Eren didn't why Levi would have such little self esteem... Hell, he was good looking even WHILE he was in this state. Like damn- _Stop it, he's your patient right now, you need to concentrate and not think about that sort of thi-_

"Levi! Natalie!" Her thoughts were interrupted by an echoing voice yelling her and Levi's names. She looked up with wide eyes.

"Eren...?" She whispered. Footsteps rang and resounded off the distressed walls. Unclean echoes due to the cramped space bombarded her ears and they got louder and lower before a silhouette popped into view high above her, dark, almost black against the brightness of the sky. Hurriedly scrambling to her feet, Natalie felt tears brim her eyelids, the heat stinging her cold skin.

"I know the way out!" He called triumphantly and started to climb onto the scaffolding just below the top. It creaked under his weight but held and he started to scale his way back down, carefully picking his way along the gaps in the wall. Eventually, he dropped to his feet and landed smoothly. His stubbed toe felt a small jolt of pain but it was ok. Natalie rushed towards him and gripped him by the arms. She slapped him sharply on the cheek and Eren clutched it in shock.

"You stupid, reckless, arrogant, brilliant boy." She yanked him into a hug. "Don't you DARE do anything like that again!"

"Well it worked, didn't it?"

"But it was stupid and dangerous! You could have died! Then what would Levi have done?" She questioned Eren, looking up at him pointedly as she brushed a tear from her cold red cheek.

"I-I..." Eren's cheek throbbed painfully, the cold accentuating the pain from Natalie's well aimed slap. "If I hadn't done it, we wouldn't have found a way out and he could have died and then WE would have died! It had to be done!" His eyes flashed seriously. He was a brave and stubborn boy, and Natalie had to admit she didn't know how else they would have found a way if Eren hadn't done what he just did. She rubbed her temples with her fingers with a sigh before looking back up at Eren. Folding her arms across her chest, she looked him in the eye.

"So. You gonna tell me how we're getting out of here, or what?"

 **(A/N:) Hello! So I actually updated in less than a week for once, you should be proud xD Haha hope you are enjoying the story so far. I only have one more chapter left in stock so I'd better get writing! I have it all planned out though so I know what I'm doing ;) Thanks for reading, byeeeeee!**


	54. Chapter 54: Saving Levi

Eren explained as quickly as he could what he'd done and he pointed up at the messy yellow streak that was painted across the alley wall way up high. It was only just about visible, but visible all the same. Eren put his hands on his hips proudly, his body full of adrenaline. He had decided that worrying too much was stupid. Worrying was pointless when it would get nothing done, he had to simply use his head and be strong. Levi wouldn't appreciate his worry, that was for sure. He'd used his head and found a way out that they could now try out. Now the next problem was figuring out how to carry Levi out... Eren followed Natalie over to Levi and it was impossible not to get a thick lump in his sore throat when he saw the state his boyfriend was in, even though he'd seen it before. It was still horrible and scary. Shaking his head slightly, Eren swallowed past the lump and bent down on one knee. Looking at Natalie, he searched her eyes as she tried to think of the best way to get them out.

"He's heavy, why does he have to be so strong? He has lots of muscle." She whined in annoyance. Eren couldn't help the pang of jealousy and protectiveness when Natalie mentioned Levi's muscle - it was his natural reaction as Levi was in fact his boyfriend. Well... if Levi still wanted to be his boyfriend that is. Levi was bi after all, Natalie still had a chance. This thought made Eren tense slightly but he shoved the idea away for now. This was no time for that.

"What's the best way to lift him? Is he well enough to sort of walk if we put his arms around our shoulders? Or is this a case of literally carrying him? Like one takes legs, one takes arms kinda carrying." Natalie tapped her chin thoughtfully.

"We could give him a try at walking with us..." She murmured in response. "I haven't tried standing him up yet but it would most certainly be easier to get him out if we could just help him wa-" She stopped when she saw Levi's hand reaching for Eren as if he wanted to see if the teen was really there. The brunette shakily reached out a hand in response and touched Levi's arm lightly to tell him that he was indeed there. Natalie watched the two in silence. She wondered how long the two had been friends. Eren had mentioned they'd become roommates that year, but hadn't mentioned whether they'd been good friends before that. Eren seemed pretty close to him, they must be best friends... "Come on Eren, let's get him up." Natalie nodded at the teen and he nodded back firmly, a look of determination etched across his features. Going to the opposite side of Levi to Eren, the nurse reached out to gently start lifting him. "We need to do it slowly ok Eren, do not jolt him."

"O-ok..." Eren carefully put Levi's arm around his shoulders and the two started lifting the sick man to his feet. Eren felt his heart broke when he saw a grimace on Levi's face. The male knew exactly what was going on, didn't he? He knew what they were doing but was unable to say anything or really move. "It's ok Lee... You need to try and walk, ok? We're gonna get you out..." Natlalie turned her head away to start kicking wine bottles and such from their path to make it clear and Eren pressed a soft kiss to Levi's dirty cheek.

Readjusting Levi's arm around her shoulder, Natalie started to lead Levi and Eren slowly down the alley. Levi's legs were weak and uncoordinated, but he managed to slowly walk alongside the two. This was humiliating. He hated being so weak in front of people, let alone people he didn't know! It was bad enough that Eren saw, but who was this other chick and why was she here? A friend of Eren's? As they went Levi stumbled slightly but Eren and Natalie moved fast, keeping a good strong hold on the sick man. Levi wanted nothing more than to just hug Eren and apologise. He'd been so blinded by his need for cigarettes and his depression that he said and did things he never would have wanted to do to Eren... He should never have run away, this was all his fault, and of course that brat just had to be the kind that doesn't give up on people he loves. If he still liked Levi after this that is. Levi wouldn't be surprised if Eren just dumped him on the spot after this. He'd put Eren through so much stress.

Natalie and Eren coordinated their way around the tunnels and alleys, following Eren's yellow mark at the top by the roofs. Eren actually managed to see off two men with needles by leaving Natalie to hold Levi for a minute and charging at the men while roaring angrily at them to not dare come near. _Holy shit, he's so protective..._ Natalie thought as she watched him go. She would have stopped the teen but he had been gone so fast, and it was too late now. Once the men had retreated down another alley, Eren returned to Levi's side and scooped his arm around his shoulders once more. Natalie glanced at the boy but he didn't look back, so she just continued to help him carry Levi forward. For an hour they picked their way through the alleys, having to manoeuvre their way strategically around crap filled bins and through seas of shattered fragments of sharp glass. Feet aching and heads hurting, they continued to help Levi through. Eren didn't care about how freezing he was or just how much his feet were killing him, especially the one with his hurt toe - all he cared about was getting Levi safe and sound. Car horns could be heard beeping in the distance, giving Eren a surge of determination. They were nearly there! This nightmare would be over soon! Well, at least this part of the nightmare - but he had a feeling he wouldn't be waking up from it any time soon.

 **(A/N:) Well... haha... this is awkward! It's been nearly 2 months... I'm really sorry I haven't been updating, I had exams and work experience and had to do a load of YouTube stuff and asdfghjkl. I am on summer break now so hopefully I will be able to update more although I am very busy with moving between houses and filming and stuff so... I will just have to write when I can. Thank you all for waiting so long, love you guys and thanks for reading my story 3 I should be updating again soon so stay tuned ;)**


End file.
